Posts by adelmaal

4

JW Friends

by pratt1 in

jw
friends

while reading different posts referring to lost friends or relatives that ha shunned us since we left the borg, it occurred to me that although losy many so called friends when i left, these same friends called me first when they ran into "trouble".

has anyone experienced this - an old friend calling you because they are afriad that they are about to be disfellowshipped?.

if so how did you react?

adelmaal

I would provide him/her with a copy of "Crisis of Conscience".

64

New member, question thats been asked many times, but how do you feel ?

by Greyeyes in

i came across this site, and while still my upbringing says i should stay away from such site, i had to join.

a bit of a background about me.

i'm 31, my parents became witnesses when i was born so they could give me the best upbringing they felt possible.

adelmaal

Welcome to the board

I was not raised a JW but I ended up reading my boyfriend's literature (mainly the Paradise book) when I was 16 or so. I kept asking him questions and he was not interested in it at all even though he had been raised in it. I started studying because I thought I had finally found "the truth"! I had attended many different churches, spoken with people of varying religions and even my "worldly" parents had a minister come and talk to me about JWs. I was convinced I had found the cure to cancer and nothing was going to convince me otherwise. It was exciting and I fastracked baptism, pioneering, assembly parts, etc. My boyfriend ended up getting baptized with me at the same assembly.

Long story short, I wish I had read the book "CRISIS OF CONSCIENCE" prior to taking the plunge.

I skipped college, I dropped all my "worldly" friends, I alienated my family, I ended up marrying the first JW who came along because we were pressured to date only with a view to marriage and we wanted to have sex, ended up married at 21, pregnant at 22 and divorced/disfellowshipped by 24. No college degree, no friends, a low paying job and a single mom. It was drama. I ended up going back to that religion and getting reinstated a few years later only to realize after being reinstated that I was sick of being judged, sick of not fitting in, sick of constantly worrying about doing something wrong or displeasing God, sick of having no time for family, no time to read books or to have fun. I started seeing a therapist, I started going to debt management classes, I started concentrating on my career and I also started spending more time with my then 2 children. It was great! I got myself out of debt, I ended up with a better job, I was happier with myself and my little family became so much closer and so much less stressed/pressed for time. It was a journey and I am so glad I faded away from that religion some 6 years ago.

I, like you, believed the JWs spoke truth and I did not know where to go spiritually. I avoided God, the Bible, etc. for a long time because I felt unworthy and uninterested. I did not celebrate holidays, did not get involved in politics or the community and I kept trying to live my life the best I could. Slowly but surely though I started to see the flaws in the JW thinking, the flaws in their reasonings, etc. I have been reading the Bible recently and I am seeing more and more how the JWs just didn't have it right. They are so judgemental, so unloving, so unmerciful and so intolerant in my opinion! I know they try to do what is right because I was one and all I wanted was to do what was right. But wanting to do what's right and actually being right can be two completely different things.

In reading the Bible I am seeing more and moresoe that God is loving, that Jesus was approachable to all, that plenty of people in the Bible worshipped God and had a relationship with him without having to be part of a particular religion, without a manmade organization and without even the Bible. Why can't that be so today? Why do they say only 144,000 benefit from Christs' sacrifice when each and every person present at the Lord's Evening Meal partook. Jesus even said if we do not partake we have no life in us. I am happy to believe that I am worthy of having Jesus as my mediator, I benefit from his sacrifice and there are plenty of people who seek God and find him in plenty of different religions (or not). I no longer believe that God or "one truth" can be found in a religion made up of man's opinions.

I have been reading "CRISIS OF CONSCIENCE" and I have purchased "IN SEARCH OF CHRISTIAN FREEDOM" and it is not only sad but also liberating to see that the JWs are just another religion, just a manmade organization accountable for all they have taught and for the ways they have messed up so many faithful followers lives. You don't sound like you really care one way or the other whether or not they have "the truth" but IMHO you might feel a bit less like you're a bad person, less like you can't live up to their perfect standards, less like you will be destroyed along with all the other wicked people in the world at armageddon if you read Ray Franz's book "CRISIS OF CONSCIENCE". He is very sincere in that book and I imagine allot of what he says will ring true for you having been at Bethel and having held privileges of service in the congregation. He has lots of inside information and he really just brings out the fact that the WTBTS, the GB and the JWs are just a group of imperfect men proclaiming to represent God. I for one have come to the conclusion their claims do not ring true.

Best wishes in your journey. You are among friends. I hope your girlfriend finds what she is looking for and at the same time I'm afraid they will ruin her life in the long run if she does not find out the truth about "the truth".

31

Hello...new here

by Sabrina in

jw
friends

[i]i wasn't sure where to post my introduction, so i am going to put it here.

if any admins or mods feel it should be moved, please do so.

i found this forum linked from http://members.aol.com/beyondjw/bj.htm, a jehovah's witnesses recovery site.

adelmaal

Welcome to the board Sabrina

I too have a 10 year old daughter who is exposed to that religion 50% of the time when she is with her dad. I work really hard to strike a balance with her and counteract the drama they fill her with. It's tough but I'm hoping she will come out of it all thinking for herself and realising that just because her dad teaches her these things out of love that does not mean they are right.

I wholeheartedly agree with the below advice:

And I have chosen to supervise her contact with my mother so the mind-control techniques will not have a chance to begin. It is sad to me that such a thing is necessary but am happy to be raising her with more love and freedom than I knew growing up.

I do not have a choice in the matter with my daughter going to her dad's house but if my mom were a JW I know she would feel a responsibility to indoctrinate her grandchildren, which would include the teaching of eventual shunning of me. That completely alienates a child from his/her parent and even though they do it out of love it's absolutely wrong.

I can understand your wanting your son not to lose out on a relationship with his grandma but I do not think any JW will respect your authority as a parent when it comes to deciding whether or not your child is exposed to that religion. If I were you I would set some boundaries my mom, which include supervised visitation only. She will view your child as a worldly person and she will feel a need to change him. That's no way for your little one to be treated. He should be able to have a relationship with his grandma free from religious control. Just my 02 -- not that you asked for it .

Again, welcome! It's good to have you here. It's a great board.

33

In My Opinion...

by OldSoul in

in my opinion (for the sake of sixofnine and his propensity toward apoplexy):.

it seems to me that while there are many issues that we could address regarding the watchtower bible and tract society/governing body/congregation of jehovah's witnesses, there is one that stands out as uniquely given to ease of communication.

i would like to take this opportunity to state which issue and why, then invite open commentary.. the issue of the watchtower bible and tract society attaching itself to the un/dpi.. while i readily agree that this is minor in importance compared to matters like child molestation and failed prophecy, i see this as the easiest to bring up, the easiest to substantiate, and the easiest to demonstrate long-term gross error in.

adelmaal

EvilForce:

Please don't say his name. Maybe it's like BeetleJuice....if you say his name too many times he'll show up. I'd rather try to reason with a rabid wolverine than that Jacka**.

I know. Please kindly insert foot in mouth.

33

In My Opinion...

by OldSoul in

in my opinion (for the sake of sixofnine and his propensity toward apoplexy):.

it seems to me that while there are many issues that we could address regarding the watchtower bible and tract society/governing body/congregation of jehovah's witnesses, there is one that stands out as uniquely given to ease of communication.

i would like to take this opportunity to state which issue and why, then invite open commentary.. the issue of the watchtower bible and tract society attaching itself to the un/dpi.. while i readily agree that this is minor in importance compared to matters like child molestation and failed prophecy, i see this as the easiest to bring up, the easiest to substantiate, and the easiest to demonstrate long-term gross error in.

adelmaal

I agree OldSoul. It's hard to argue with the fact that the Society said one thing and did another. I'll just chalk it up to the fact that they are men. That is all. Imperfect men who think they are inspired by a perfect God.

Wonder how long it will take your buddy Schizm to jump on this - LOL...

Or maybe he's done with his RVs for the month

196

Move on...

by mrsjones5 in

as i was taking my shower this morning i was musing about certain posts i had read the day before.

the one about the tampons just tickled me to no end.

crazy stuff people will do to enforce whatever crazy ideas they have about human sexuality.

adelmaal

how would you feel if someone treated your little kids that way? do you know how to tell a child that the reason why you cant play with johnny down the street is cuz his parents dont like black folks?

I have often thought about the above sentiment but from the standpoint of a parent who has a child with disabilities or a malformation of some kind. People can be cruel in many different circumstances and I for one am sorry for those who have to bear the brunt of it more than others do. All I can do as an idividual is try my hardest to raise my children to be loving and accepting of all. The issue of prejudice (be it religious, racial, physical, gender, etc.) is not a move on issue because it still exists in our lives. Unfortunately, some seem to be contronted with it more than others. It's not like leaving the WT. It surrounds us. As Brooke said we must educate and we each must do our part.

32

I think I might try to date a JW girl

by tsunami_rid3r in

jw
friends

theres a new girl and her brothers down here from kansas until may.

she sounds fun, from what i've met at the gathering last night.

shes looking for a guy.

adelmaal

The following online group might be able to provide you with association with some young people who share some of your issues: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/exjwyouthsupport/ . See the below introduction for this online yahoo group:

Welcome to Ex Jehovah's Witness Youth Support!

This site was made by and for Ex-JW kids and teens and young people who have left the Watchtower Organization. We understand how alone and depressed you feel when you are either disfellowshipped or disassociated. Or if your parents have also left the Watchtower, you probably confused & feeling alone or scared. We're here to support you through all of this and to be your friend. Please ask us what we can do to help you! This is a place to make friends, talk, discuss etc... Whatever you need!

The founders of this group are Brian & Brittany- both ex-jw teens that are now Christians. Currently owned and moderated by Angie~ who has been dealing with & helping JWs since she left the Watchtower at age 15 (Almost 10 years ago) and also now a Christian. If you are a young ex-jw, jw but not sure, jw and curious, or a young person with a loved one or friend that is a Jw- we can help!

196

Move on...

by mrsjones5 in

as i was taking my shower this morning i was musing about certain posts i had read the day before.

the one about the tampons just tickled me to no end.

crazy stuff people will do to enforce whatever crazy ideas they have about human sexuality.

adelmaal

Just don't point out the African American Race there are others that are judged today

I hear ya Brooke. It certainly happens to others as well. The young man in my experience happened to be African American. I have seen it happen to plenty of Mexican Americans as well. I have never had it happen to me though. The most I have had happen to me is having someone of another race be rude to me for no apparent reason. While, I prefer to assume he/she is just having a bad day I do sometimes wonder if it is based on racial prejudice.

196

Move on...

by mrsjones5 in

as i was taking my shower this morning i was musing about certain posts i had read the day before.

the one about the tampons just tickled me to no end.

crazy stuff people will do to enforce whatever crazy ideas they have about human sexuality.

adelmaal

even now my husband (who looks like a nerd) has been pulled over and harassed by cops numerous times just because they thought he looked like he could possibly be up to something. My husband doesnt drink, smoke, or do drugs.

Just the other day my husband and I were turning at a red light and I looked down the street to see a young African American teenager walking along the sidewalk. He was approaching a police car, which happened to be parked in such a way that it would block his way to go any further unless he walked out into the street to get around the vehicle. I asked my husband, "Honey, if you were that young man being black and walking down the road toward a police car would you be stressed as you approached the police officer? Would you wonder if the police officer was going to give you trouble for nothing?" It was wierd to try to put myself in that young man's shoes for a moment and to think I would be stressed if I were him. I would be stressed if he were my son and I were his mom wanting to protect him from prejudice. It is sad that we live in a world where racism is still a reality. I just hate to think that some people might think I am ignorant enough to believe that we don't all bleed the same color .

40

I'm not one for...

by love11 in

jw
friends

introductions so i never said the official "hi i'm a newbie thing".

now i'm a junior member and i thought that maybe i should speak up and just say hi to everybody out here that gave me good advice when i needed it and made me laugh in spite of things.

hi to all that i haven't gotten a chance to talk to yet and hopefully we'll get the chance here soon.

adelmaal

Don't wait for someone to bring you flowers; plant your own garden... (from a quote I heard quite some time ago; the concept has stuck with me)