exjwshell

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Posts by exjwshell

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  34

  Hi everyone!

  by schne_belly in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  well - this is my first post.

  i want to express my gratitude to all of you in jwd land for the help you provide.

  i'd be glad to relate stories, and experiences in the future, but wanted to introduce myself first.

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  exjwshell

  Welcome! We are glad you are here...Looking foward to reading about your experiences and insights.

  ~Shell
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  46

  Describe The Life of a Jehovah's Witness

  by minimus in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  typically, what life does a jw lead?

  witnesses relish the thought that they are "different" from the rest of the "world"......how so???

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  exjwshell

  Growing up as a Jehovah's Witness you are constantly stared at, made fun of, picked on, etc. for being different.

  "Worldly" children & some teachers feel you are being disrespectful for not saying the Pledge of Allegiance, you are teased and taunted for not being able to participate in classroom parties that involve holidays, birthdays, etc. You are a loner because "bad associations spoil useful habits", you are scared because of demons (ie smurfs, worldly music, etc).

  To sum it all up....it sucks!

  ~Shell
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  11

  Sara Lee

  by homme perdu in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  do you remeber sara lee used to be given out at the assemblies?

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  exjwshell

  I remember, years ago...probably in the late 70's or early 80's the assemblies here in the midwest used to have some Sara Lee...I especially remember the Danish Rolls. The cheese filled danish were the best!

  ~Shell
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  12

  Need Ideas - Parenting Problem/Question

  by exjwshell in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  here's a question to all of you parents out there.... do any of you, especially those who were born and raised as a jw, have trouble parenting your non-jw children?...

  i've been "out" for 18 years and since then have married and had two children.

  i find it incredibly difficult to not parent "witness style".

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  exjwshell

  Thanks everyone for your thoughts and replies. It makes me feel better to at least know that I'm not the only one going through all of this.

  Raising teenagers is hard enough...but raising teenagers differently than your parents did is really a tough job!

  Beautiful Garbage: It was my concern whether the party was supervised too...it was by the girl's dad, while this made me feel a little better, the paranoia still took over!

  Jez: I know what you mean about your husband! I trust my husband too. He does a good job calming me down during my periods of "what-if" thinking. In my heart, I know that he knows what is right.

  Ash: I completely understand and go through the exact same things as you! It's awful when you parent to the best of your ability and have others "question" your decisions.

  I do have to learn to "choose my battles". My fear is choosing the wrong ones! Experience is the best teacher, I guess.

  Gypsy: I have two kids, my son is 15 (16 in August) and my daughter is 12.

  La Capra: Oh, I know he's got my number! But we told him that we were young too, not that long ago. He knows that his dad knows "every trick in the book". We do have a very open relationship with both of our kids. We know that they are not going to tell us EVERYTHING but, we try to keep the lines of communication open so that if they need to talk, we will always be there to listen.

  Thanks everyone for your replies. It really does help alot to be able to see what others think.

  ~Shell
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  66

  Do some WT phrases make you squirm?

  by jeanniebeanz in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  for me it's "the doors of the ark are closing.

  i can never forget as a child, being forced to see the graphic images in the publications showing families, mothers with little babies clinging to a rock and others drowning as the ark floats away.

  fathers shaking their fists at god for destroying their families... it's like some of the little mind control still functioning in there somewhere causing a kneejerk reaction of uneasiness.... are there any others that bug you?.

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  exjwshell

  Besides the words "new system" and the phrase "Bad associations spoil useful habits" the idea that was constantly drilled into my head as a little kid was the fact that because I was not an adult EVERYTHING I did...would be used to judge my parents...If I accidentially swore or took a piece of candy at a birthday celebration at school...anything....I could ruin it for my parents...they wouldn't make it into the "new system"....OH I HATED THAT!....No wonder I have guilt issues!

  I know thats why I left when I turned 18.

  ~Shell
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  12

  Need Ideas - Parenting Problem/Question

  by exjwshell in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  here's a question to all of you parents out there.... do any of you, especially those who were born and raised as a jw, have trouble parenting your non-jw children?...

  i've been "out" for 18 years and since then have married and had two children.

  i find it incredibly difficult to not parent "witness style".

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  exjwshell

  Thank you for your replies...I think you are both right! I think I need to not "freak-out" as much but I also think that using what I have learned (some of it, anyways) can be used to my advantage.
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  25

  My bit of an introduction

  by Thinking in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  in a very short time here i have truely appreciated the openess of the people that post here.

  the ability to share thoughts and feelings in a most respectful and honest way.

  i have been thankful to be validated with alot of what i was feeling and thinking with some things regarding the jw experiance.

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  exjwshell

  Welcome, Thinking. Thank you for sharing your story with us. We are happy you are here and hope to hear from you again.

  "Unconditional Love is never popular" made me teary..it's so true!

  ~Shell
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  12

  Need Ideas - Parenting Problem/Question

  by exjwshell in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  here's a question to all of you parents out there.... do any of you, especially those who were born and raised as a jw, have trouble parenting your non-jw children?...

  i've been "out" for 18 years and since then have married and had two children.

  i find it incredibly difficult to not parent "witness style".

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  exjwshell

  Here's a question to all of you parents out there...

  Do any of you, especially those who were born and raised as a jw, have trouble parenting your non-jw children?...

  I've been "out" for 18 years and since then have married and had two children. I find it incredibly difficult to not parent "witness style". I try to resist and remind myself that the way my parents handled things are NOT the way I should. I struggle with this everyday. My parents were VERY strict (dad was an elder) and now I find that my husband and I are constantly disagreeing about what we should and should not let our teenagers do.

  It's just habit, I guess, you parent (whether you want to or not) in a similar way that your parents did. It's what you've learned growing up. I'm constantly over-paranoid that something bad will happen if I let him go to a party or drive around with his friends (who are good kids), etc.

  For example: Tonight my son wanted to go a birthday party for a girl friend in a neighboring town. He was going to ride with another friend of his from our town...I just really didn't want him to go. What if something happened? What if there was an accident? What if some unruly, unsupervised kids showed up?...My husband told me that I was way over paranoid and too strict and that we should let him go...which we did...but as my son walked out of the house he said, "Mom, we are not witnesses. You are trying to raise me like you were raised."

  I was so mad! It's a good thing he said it as he walked out the door or he would have gotten an "earful". After a little while I started thinking...he's sorta right. I'm not NEARLY as strict as my parents were but I am always telling him NO...like my parents did to me.

  I want my children to have the freedom to be kids...I NEVER had that. I'm just not sure how to do it. Has anyone else had these sorts of problems?
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  92

  Trying to get to know people on the JWD

  by cindykp in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i havent been here that long, and just trying to get to know a little more about the people im chatting with.

  i know some dont want to share too much info, which i understand.

  so.............im divorced, have 3 kids, lived in florida for 15 years, now back home in wi.

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  exjwshell

  ColdRedRain,

  I'm not surprised, at all.

  It was quite a "to-do" over in the cities when we left
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  92

  Trying to get to know people on the JWD

  by cindykp in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i havent been here that long, and just trying to get to know a little more about the people im chatting with.

  i know some dont want to share too much info, which i understand.

  so.............im divorced, have 3 kids, lived in florida for 15 years, now back home in wi.

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  exjwshell

  Hi Cindy!

  I think it's a great topic too.

  First Name: Michelle (everyone just calls me Shell)

  Married, not gay, have two children..son 15...daughter 11. I was born and raised as a jw (father was an elder) grew up in MN. Disfellowshipped in 1988 - married (worldly guy) moved to Wisconsin.

  Hope to chat with you sometime!

  ~Shell