Posts by besty

35

Is a rapid graceful exit possible?

by besty in

we will find out soon.

as a brief update my wife sweet pea and i have 'announced' to a few friends and close family - less than 10 altogether - that we are no longer going to meetings.

some friends have probed for details, others don't want to know.

besty

We will find out soon. As a brief update my wife Sweet Pea and I have 'announced' to a few friends and close family - less than 10 altogether - that we are no longer going to meetings. Some friends have probed for details, others don't want to know. All the usual commiserations of our impending death at Armygeddin' have been made along with disappointment, bereavement, shock etc etc

Anyways - in a different congregation one of our friends is so upset she calls an elder who then calls our elders to let them know - they claim to know all about it, although they haven't spoken to us yet. So our hand is a bit forced - we had been intending to say no more about it and just turn the lights out and leave - now our elders are on our case and we are in the dark as to what exactly they know and what they are doing.

So I make a call to a faded ex-PO (in fact a missionary at one point) and ask for some advice. He recommended calling a friendly elder and positioning ourselves as wishing to go quietly and not making a fuss - basically one last dance with the devil to achieve our end of a rapid graceful exit without DA or DF.

So I called said friendly elder and reaffirmed that we had only spoken to a few close friends out of politeness and they had pushed us for reasons and we had been as tactful as possible with general conments of "it not being for us right now" etc. I stressed that I never say never and if things change we may be back (thinks to himself if the GB do a world tour in sackcloth and ashes begging for forgiveness and a comple about-turn on all their crazy doctrines and offer unreserved apologies for all the screwed up lives, I still wouldn't go back). He was sorry obviously asked if he could help and if we were DA'ing ourselves - I said 'Nooooh - never would we think of DA'ing ourselves - we're just not interested'

All in the call took 5 minutes. Combined 40 years of baptised service finished in a 5 minute phone call...or is it...???

Updates as and when if I get any more flak, but any comments on the technique would be appreciated...

12

Met/spoken to two former Jw's I knew this week

by cyberdyne systems 101 in

jw
friends

what a strange week, first someone who posts here turns out to be someone i knew from many years ago, and we end up speaking on the phone to catch up and share our experiences, and then last night i'm in the supermarket when someone says hello to me and when i turn to look its another person who used to attend my old congregation.

his reason's for not going was the lack of love shown to him and the fact that questions he was asking were going unanswered - sound familier?

cs 101.

besty

in the interests of journalistic integrity I admit that i made the above post on Sweet Pea's login :-)

34

Anyone find any decent pro-Witness sites?

by IsaacJS2 in

as i've mentioned a few times before, i'm working on a round of articles for austin cline's site.

the final "big daddy" article is an evaluation: is the wts a controlling, harmful cult?

but i don't plan on doing an attack article.

besty

http://www.jehovahsjudgment.co.uk/ domain was registered in July 2006 so seems quite recent comprehensive attempt at debunking 587BCE and the UN fiasco

13

Besty + Sweet Pea = Its A Family Affair

by besty in

what a few days!

this time last week i was not even considering the big chat with sweet pea.

seven days on and:.

besty

thanks kindly I will update y'all when I have had the feedback from the friends n family regards PM

25

Had The Big Chat with my wife...

by besty in

jw
friends

after being a long time fader and lurking here for a few years i finally had the courage to speak to my wife the other day

she was complaining about how we never get invited back to other jw's houses despite being fairly hospitable ourselves and how she's made some new worldly friends that werre non-judgemental and just nice people.

she also mentioned her mum (also jw but weak - split up from her jw husband) was struggling with the routine and had lots of nice friends out of the kh.

besty

we really appreciate the forum of new friends and the feedack we get to our posts - it's making a difficult transition a bit more bearable

so where are we up to?

we have now told all our close family that we are no longer going to the meetings. Sweet Pea's Mum and Dad (both JW) are understanding and accepting - they have long held misgivings but see the good side so are still in...wait and see there though - I wouldn't be surprised if one or both aren't out within the year...#

My Mum and Brother Elder PO are shocked, horrified, disappointed, angry, hurt and depressed in equal measure. The conversation I had with them was pretty difficult for both parties - done over the phone as we live 400 miles apart. Mum was in tears and Brother got a bit aggressive - it was like speaking to a different person although he may have felt the same I guess. He suggested my marriage would soon be on the rocks as Jehovah was the third cord now removed (?) and my drink problem was merely a symptom of spiritual disease. Worldy association was a factor and I had finally dragged Sweet Pea down to my level. Nice.

Water of a ducks back to me though - I'm moving onwards and upwards..although I do want to keep them onboard as our two little kiddies need to have a non-poisonous relationship with all the family - time will tell if thats posible...

With regard to friends, I called my long time best mate and he was disappointed sorry to hear that etc but I can have a more deep and meaningful with him soon - my basic problem is that I don't really want to rescue anybody from the Borg - as another poster said - they are old enough to know better. Sweet Pea on the other hand has a requirement for honesty and closure. So she has been telling a few friends and some of the reasons why....oops - I'll let her post about her conversation today with her best friend...not good.

so - overall I'm optimistic and looking forward to the time ahead - tinged with a little trepidation about potentially losing friends and family - but f*ck em. if it was conditional all along then so be it....

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to you all!!

99

ANYTHING EXCITING EVER HAPPEN AT YOUR KINGDOM HALL?

by anewme in

jw
friends

did anything exciting or alarming ever happen at your hall?

i remember only funny incidents, like one brother getting up there with his zipper down.

(i knew alot of brothers after that felt no shame to actually check down there before going up on the podium!

besty

couple of things - at a District Convention (Leeds probably mid '80's) these two teenage boys go off to the pub at lunchtime for a few games of pool. one thing leads to another and they have a few beers. well anyway they really let go and top it off with a few brandies and a cigar each - can you believe it? so they get back to the DC late after lunch and have to push by everybody to get to their seats, smelling of booze and cigars - you can imagine - well anyway their lunchtime activity only came to light because one of the boys can't handle the session and decides he has to chuck his guts up right there during the talk - so the noise aside - he's left sitting on top of this stinking pile of vomit and its running down the steps into the row in front - all you can smell is brandy and cigars - everybody turning round to see whodunnit - classic! the other story makes me laugh still - me and my best mate were jointly responsible for the platform mikes and we had to sit in the front row obviously - well we were just teenagers really and any excuse to laugh our heads off was taken readily. the elders had words with us more than once so it makes it worse when you are trying so hard not to laugh. anyway we'd managed a whole meeting with no outbursts so were like quite proud of ourselves. the final song is announced and we both stand up to sing. my mate is 5'10 and I'm 6 foot and you have this mental perception of where you expect to see somebody when you look at them. (I'm laughing just typing this, 20 years later) I glance at him beside me and he's taller than me - I'm looking up at him - it was like david blane levitating - how can that be? he's grown three inches during the meeting - impossible but true! so i look down at his feet and he standing on his briefcase. well that was it - I just lost it. Crying with laughter - shaking shoulders - the works - I more or less peed my pants on the spot - 2 hours of not laughing wiped out in one massive eruption. Then had to go and adjust the mike for the prayer. hope you guys find that as funny as I do. :-)

13

Besty + Sweet Pea = Its A Family Affair

by besty in

what a few days!

this time last week i was not even considering the big chat with sweet pea.

seven days on and:.

besty

what a few days!

this time last week I was not even considering The Big Chat with Sweet Pea. Seven days on and:

Sweet Pea has chucked out all her WTS books

Sweet Pea is never going to another meeting and has told her Mum so

Sweet Pea has her own JWD username and several topics under her belt

Life is surprising sometimes. Majorly in this case - I have always prided myself on my low-reactor personality but WOW - blow me over.

In any case its all good news and I too crossed my own Rubicon tonight by calling my JW family and letting them know that it is no more meetings for us. Mum was understandbly upset and older brother elder was hurt and defensive. Of course they looked to blame external factors such as lack of study, prayer, bad association, lack of effort, my drink problem (Hic), unspecified emotional disorder and general badness on my part. On another post I will mention some of the more hurtful stuff but I know they were trapped in a corner and lashing out.

All in all a very eventful phonecall which I was dreading and is now in the past - boy am I looking forward to the future - you know the saying about the elephant in the living room? I feel like I just 12-bored the elephant....result...

Sweet Pea will post her own experience with her Mum which is also worth a read...

31

Is Fading a DF Offense?

by besty in

wife sweet pea and i are just starting the 2nd phase of our fade, which as we are already inactive and at 50% meeting attendance, means stopping going altogether.. supposing the elders decide they want to make a shepherding call - which we naturally decline - could they announce us as 'no longer known as jw's' for declining the call, not being at meetings and being inactive?.

what if we did take the shepherding call and told the elders we just weren't coming back, with no specific reasons given?

they would be bound to ask if we still believed the fds doctrine, which we could lie about use theocratic warfare strategy and say we were just a bit depressed, with money worries, struggling with the routine etc and would probably be back soon.. thoughts?.

besty

Wife Sweet Pea and I are just starting the 2nd phase of our fade, which as we are already inactive and at 50% meeting attendance, means stopping going altogether.

Supposing the elders decide they want to make a shepherding call - which we naturally decline - could they announce us as 'no longer known as JW's' for declining the call, not being at meetings and being inactive?

What if we did take the shepherding call and told the elders we just weren't coming back, with no specific reasons given? They would be bound to ask if we still believed the FDS doctrine, which we could ~~lie about~~ use theocratic warfare strategy and say we were just a bit depressed, with money worries, struggling with the routine etc and would probably be back soon.

Thoughts?

25

Had The Big Chat with my wife...

by besty in

jw
friends

after being a long time fader and lurking here for a few years i finally had the courage to speak to my wife the other day

she was complaining about how we never get invited back to other jw's houses despite being fairly hospitable ourselves and how she's made some new worldly friends that werre non-judgemental and just nice people.

she also mentioned her mum (also jw but weak - split up from her jw husband) was struggling with the routine and had lots of nice friends out of the kh.

besty

thanks for all the kind words - it is most helpful to hear what you all think and feel. we have been spending some time on www.jwfacts.com - we really like the style of writing - not hateful just informative... its really opened our eyes to a lot of issues - loved the 1970KM that stated a reinstated brother has to wait at least 10 years before being allowed to give a Public Talk - contrast that with the instant reinstatement of the prodigal son - I mean where do they get off.... anyway more to follow soon.. cheers!!

25

Had The Big Chat with my wife...

by besty in

jw
friends

after being a long time fader and lurking here for a few years i finally had the courage to speak to my wife the other day

she was complaining about how we never get invited back to other jw's houses despite being fairly hospitable ourselves and how she's made some new worldly friends that werre non-judgemental and just nice people.

she also mentioned her mum (also jw but weak - split up from her jw husband) was struggling with the routine and had lots of nice friends out of the kh.

besty

after being a long time fader and lurking here for a few years I finally had the courage to speak to my wife the other day she was complaining about how we never get invited back to other JW's houses despite being fairly hospitable ourselves and how she's made some new worldly friends that werre non-judgemental and just nice people. She also mentioned her Mum (also JW but weak - split up from her JW husband) was struggling with the routine and had lots of nice friends out of the KH. Well I picked my moment and decided to go for it... After agreeing that there were nice people out there (I know plenty of them) I said I felt that if you claim to be God's sole channel you have a heavy responsibility to get it right and that I had more than one doctrinal issue. So the floodgates opened - we discussed: 1914 - beliefs prior to that being totally different to those today 1919 - Rutherford not looking out for Jesus as he had arrived in 1874, then not publishing the chosen status until 1943? blood - where is the fraction policy in the Bible? Mediator - why are the Great Crowd not having Jesus as Mediator? Galations 1:1-9 - why are they preaching a new gospel? All the above plus the fact going to meetings is a drag :-) So its been sinking in for a few days and now she is talking about never going back...WOW This is happening faster than I planned.....