I do not have the direct information you need but I can tell you deeply love your wife and the story saddens me. This is sigly the biggest reason why I am not an active witness. The whole df thing just drives me nuts. It is so clear that this is not christian love but yet they practice it. DF intent was never to be a form of punishment as it is used today but a method to help the whole. There is a HUGE difference between weakness and being evil. I think if you ever sat down ad read the bible (thankfully I have before becoming a witness) the one thing that you see over and over and over and over again is gods love for us, all of us. I could not sit there with a straight face and df someone because they had a habit of smoking, or comitted fornication because the examples we have from the bible do not support this.
I think if I was in your position show the great acts of love God has shown man and tell her to keep that relationship with god because she does not need man to allow her too.
Sorry that you are going through this.