My mother who was a faithful JW had A.L.S. (Lou Gherigs disease). She was in a care facility for the last year of her life. I would go to visit her despite the fact that she was not thrilled to see me (being DF'd and all) but she did like to see my three girls at least. She never outright told me to not visit her. But when she became rather ill, and was on her death bed, my "Elder" brothers tried to keep me from visiting her in the hospital. But they couldn't stop me. They even tried to keep me away from her funeral (which was in a KH). But they could not stop me there either. I told them that I would be at the funeral, sitting in the front row with the rest of my family. If there was not a place for me and my girls, then we'd sit on the stage if need be. I told them that under the circumstances I didn't think that "their god" was to happy with them. Anyway, there was seats waiting for us. DF'd or not, "their" rules do not apply. Sure I can't make them associate, or talk to me etc, but that's their choice, not mine. The JW's just love to think they have such a hold on us by shunning the ones that disagree with their teachings. Would we truly even need these discussion boards if our families would still associate with us despite our choices in life? It seems to be the number one complaint with all exjw's. The treatment they receive from family and friends still associated.
You must be an only child. Good point to make though, as to just who will look after your mother should something happen to your Dad? Then what. As you state, it surely will not be the congregation. Unless she has a large inheritance, then of course they will want her to leave it to the Society. One can truly never really break free from this horrid religion when we still have close family member still associated.