Shytears, please please do not beat yourself up over this! THe guilt complex is a terrible side effect of being a witness. You had a simple moment of weakness with a guy you like. You are a thinking individual and have realized that you do not subscribe to the belief system that you were raised with, and have now done something that essentially "thumbs your nose at the establishment". I was a very independent 16 year old myself. I often felt very helpless and trapped in the whole environment, and I understand your frustration. I agree that you should keep it to yourself and do not confess to anything. I also agree with larc. Let this guy contact you if he wants to discuss it any more- do not torture yourself with questions of what he thinks about what happened between you. If he calls and wants to talk, it meant something to him. If he does not, then you have your answer there as well. You are the only one that will suffer by endless second guessing or repeatedly calling him at home, and will only provide more conversation for him and his friends if that is what he is about. Just because you did it once does not mean that you have to do it again. Make sure that if you decide to have sex again, with him or anyone else, that it is on YOUR terms and because YOU decide it is right for you. I would also recommend that you contact planned parenthood or another local resource that provides councelling and medical care and think about birth control pills, even if you have no immediate plans to have sex again anytime soon- condoms are just not reliable enough. I beleive that at your age (in most areas) you can be provided with confidential medical care and your parents do not need to know. Just my thoughts, and feel free to email me directly.
caligirl
JoinedPosts by caligirl
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40
OMG What have i done!
by Shytears in.
hey everyone.i know im in trouble now deep deep shit !i went to my highschool football game last night,its like the biggest game of the year,well yall all know im a witness and im baptized.i meant up with some of my friends from school and the guy i like and his friends.we walked around and talked and you know goofed off,me and him went to his friends car,we ended up having sex.omg i cant believe i actually did this,but we used protection.only thing is i feel kinda bad but then i dont,whats the deal,im think im going to get disfellowedshipped oh well.please anyone help me!!!
laura
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What is your shoe size?
by gilwarrior inanother fluff topic that has no useful purpose whatsoever.
i have a big foot.
my shoe size is 12 wide.
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caligirl
A nice dainty 8 1/2 - 9.
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What is your shoe size?
by gilwarrior inanother fluff topic that has no useful purpose whatsoever.
i have a big foot.
my shoe size is 12 wide.
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caligirl
8 1/2
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My Humble Uneducated Opinion!
by 68storm ini would like to take this opportunity to thank you for your valued input on this board.
i will never forgive you for making it almost impossible for me to give up coming here.
this turned out to be like a drug for a weak willed person like myself.
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caligirl
Hello 68storm.. I think that your post shows excellent insight into the world of JW's. I also wish to comment on your thought that there has to be something lacking for one to get involved. For those of us that are raised in it and know nothing else, it is intitally no different that for a child who grows up in any religion. You know only what you have been exposed to, and therefore have no basis of comparison. Some of us are fortunate enough to have enough reasoning capacity to want to get out once we are old enough to see it all for what it really is, but for others raised in it, fear and denial keep them from ever realising that, and still others are totally happy with that controlled environment and remain oblivious to the fact that anything is wrong. For me, and my siblings, we are all of the fortunate group who were able to see through it and left as soon as we were able.
For those who choose as adults to become a JW, I am certainly inclined to agree that there is something lacking in their life that causes them to be willing to get involved. My parents both grew up in less than ideal circumstances in their families (to say the least) which I firmly beleive made them very vulnerable to the idea that 1975 would bring about an end to the world that had dealt them so much pain. Add to the mix that they could beleive that their children would never have to go to school or deal with anything that they had lived through, and that the highly controlled way of life would certainly provide their children with the stability they had both lacked growing up and you have the perfect making of an ideal follower. Sadly, they both remain to this day, a pioneer and an elder.
Edited by - caligirl on 3 November 2002 1:0:22
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Found an old Talk..WARNING this may Cause Nausea
by Xena inwas going thru some old files on my computer and stumbled across an old talk i helped my sister with for the school....talk about bringing back bad memories.....but you gotta admit...i was pretty good.... lindsey: thanks for the ride cindy.. .
cindy: your welcome lindsey.. .
lindsey: oh by the way a group of us are going ice skating tomorrow morning and i was wondering if monica and joseph could go with us.. .
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caligirl
You certainly did have a talent for writing them! Man if that one didn't make you feel guilty for recreating, I don't know what else would! I'll bet lots of people cancelled their non-spiritual plans the weekend after that talk!
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Why were the Flintstones sexualized?
by nilfun ingrowing up a jw kid, there were things that, if not for the helpful instruction .
i received from the brothers, i would have never known were sexual in nature.
some examples:.
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caligirl
"I learned that I should avoid eating lobster so as not to become sexually inflamed"
Well damn, I knew there HAD to be a reason that I'd do anything for a lobster!!! And here naive little me thought all these years that I craved them just because they tasted so good!
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for those that asked...
by rwagoner infor those that have asked...(and i can't imagine why !!!
)...i have changed the link on my profile to go to a more general bio (with pictures) and then link to my exjw story from there.
so for all the morbidly curious....click away !
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caligirl
Hi Randy - Thanks for posting that. You and your wife look very happy, and your son is adorable! Would love to hear more "dirt" on individuals you dealt with though! LOL! (But I understand why you would not include them on your official story.) I am sure you have stories that I never heard because I was too young to be aware, but I am also willing to bet that the names on each of our S*** lists would match pretty closely!
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I am new
by madison149 ini've been reading this site for about 2 weeks.
the information and support here are great!
i'm trying to fade away from the jw's without having to da myself (because of my many jw family members).
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caligirl
Welcome Madison.. I did the fade away thing, and for me, it was the best way as well. Then you can be the "inactive one" and avoid most, if not all of the hassles. I just went Trick-or-Treating with my son for the first time tonight. It was his second time. It was fun, but at the same time I had a kind of sadness because I never got to do that as a kid when I could really fully appreciate it. Best wishes to you on your journey out of the org, and glad you are hanging out here with all of us!
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So fed up!!!!! New here!
by Shytears in.
hmm,i dont how too start off,but ill try,so im 16 yrs old,im being raised as a jw,and it is hard as hell,sometimes i think,if this is the right religion arent you suppose to be happy??
?well i really cant do anything about that because my parents say no way they will let me go in "the world" nonsense!so im stuck here ,lonely,depressed,and confused,sometimes i wish id die,but i know that wont help nothing.i want out of this org so bad,but i cant do nothing about it.there always telling me dont let satan and the bad asscioates influence you!im sick of that.all my friends well i shold say my ex friends they never helped me,my as they say:worldy friends did.. also i really really like this guy,i know he like me but he is worldy and i wish so badly i could date him,(i hate the term worldy,so stupid)my parents seriously will not give me space and they are stuck up my @ss.please if u have any commets i would sincerly appriciate it:) laura
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caligirl
(((((((shytears)))))) Welcome! Hang in there! I was also considered the "bad girl" in my hall for no valid reason, so I understand where you are coming from on that one. My advice, which goes along with many others here is to bide your time until you are 18 and free to choose. Do the minimum to stay below the radar, but DO cultivate your friendships with non witnesses so that you will have a support system in place in the event that your parents shun you when you leave. Please feel free to email me! I would also advise that you don't complicate your life with a serious relationship at this stage in your life! I did, and it made it that much harder to extricate myself from the whole mess.You will find a wonderful support group on this board and many friends.
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Dr Phil...on Spanking children!
by Golden Girl ini missed his show on child discipline...but i looked up his website and read some on there.
i am strongly against spanking children!
this is something that everyone has their own viewpoint on and i understand that.
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caligirl
I was spanked as a child, but as a last resort, and you'd better believe that if I pushed my parents to that point I probably deserved a hell of a lot more than I got, in a manner of speaking! I know I was excellent at not knowing when to shut my yapper because I have been blessed with a wonderful son who suffers from the same affliction!In all seriousness though, I think that it depends on the individual child. I have "spanked" my son only a few times in his life, and my version of a spank was a single swat to the diaper and that was it. Got his attention, but by no means hurt him at all. I always considered it to be reserved for extreme circumstances like if he was doing something that would endanger his life- like the time he got out of the house, into the car, started it and put it in drive. There is a HUGE difference between a spanking administered as a form of discipline, and the outright beatings that a lot of the people posting on this thread received.
I remember in our hall growing up that there was this elders family that always sat in the front of the hall, and whenever the youngest would not sit still the way they thought he should, the mother would make this big show of taking this inch think wooden paddle that was about 10 inches long out of her bag and drag her son down the aisle brandishing the paddle like she should be praised for "disciplining" her child. This made a big impression on me, and I was only 10 or so myself. I remember even at that age being disgusted by the whole show and telling myself that I would never ever do anything like that to my kids.