I've been there too, Younglove.
Yesterday, while watching my son's highschool football game, my mind wandered too, and I wanted to go back and do it all over again. I was watching the kids, walking about, having fun. I never got to experience hanging with my friends, going to a football game after school, but you know what? I'm making damned sure my kids get to experience it all, and I'm enjoying watching them have fun.
DON'T let the past get you down. You have a beautiful baby and a good life ahead of you. You give your child everything and more, of what you did not have as a child. And have fun watching their little eyes light up....Life is good, after the watchtower!!
Trust me, it does get better....and the anger is soon gone...maybe never forgotten, but gone. Don't waste too much time worrying about the past. Life is short. Make good use of it.