Posts by evita

105

My sister Robin RIP Mar. 26, 1963 - Nov. 7, 2005

by Lady Lee in

jw
friends

i just got some news and am still shaking.

my sister died today.

i hardly knew her .

evita

Lady Lee
So sorry to hear the sad news about your sister. My heart goes out to you.
Eva

29

today at 3 pm i will take donna to the hospital for her examination.she is putting up a good front but i can tell that she is really scared about the possible outcome.. being a nurse for years, one gathers up a lot of knowledge and she does know a lot about the body and its failures.. she is scared and i am terrified.

her three sons and family will be there also.

so i won't be alone.. my few children in this area are still jw's and do not give a crap about me or donna being ill.. so they won't be there.

evita

Thinking about you both. I know how frightening these things can be. I'm glad you have each other and good friends who can help.
Sending positive thoughts and hugs your way.
Eva

13

I just want to be a normal person again.

by toby888 in

jw
friends

i don't want to be "special".

i don't want to believe stuff i don't belive in anymore.

i'm tired of feeling isolated from humanity.

evita

Hi Toby
I felt the same way when I was leaving the dubs in my early 20's. I just wanted to have normal feelings and responses to the world. I couldn't see spending the rest of my life seeing everything through the JW lens. I was miserable fakin' it. Leaving was painful but so worth it.
Here's something I found out after being out for over 20 years. Everyone has baggage and difficult experiences in their past. Yes, having a witness past has certain unique problems associated with it. But that shouldn't stop you from experiencing all that life has to offer. It will take some effort, courage, and maybe a good therapist.
I have had many setbacks, cried many tears, and lost my relationship with my beloved mom. Still, I have never regretted my decision to leave. I truly have a wonderful life even though I carry some residual effects from my years as a witness..
Wishing you the best!
Eva

24

Just to say hi

by fullofdoubtnow in

jw
friends

hi, i am a friend of dedpoet, i think he may have posted about me occasionally, and he has kindly allowed me to join the forum from his pc as i do not have internet access at home.

i have known trev (dedpoet) since he first joined the same congregation as me 14 years ago, and we have always been friends.

i was very sad when he left us some years ago, but have maintained contact with him, something that has got me in trouble with the elders just lately now he is disassociated.

evita

Hi Linda
I am just about the same age as you but I left the witnesses many years ago. Unfortunately my mom was still in so my break from the JW was complicated. It is always difficult and painful to leave but it seems as though your exit could be relatively smooth. If you are enjoying your time away... take a deep breath, gather up your courage and ...Don't go back!
Whatever you decide, we are here to listen. Welcome!
Eva

7

Did the Witnesses try to steal the Jew's Sympathy in WW2?

by free2beme in

jw
friends

i have studied history, the holocaust, ww2, etc.

as a witness i found it very interesting as i wanted to see what my fellow brothers and sisters went through.

the thing is, there was not that many of them.

evita

Interesting topic.
I have seen my therapist for 12 years so she obviously knows all of my issues with JW's. Recently we were discussing them again and she said something like, "to be fair, they were persecuted in the concentration camps and really stuck together to help each other survive." I was flabbergasted and just stared at her. She is Jewish and so am I! She had never brought this up before and I can only think she must have heard this recently. The witnesses really promote their relatively small part in WWII and it continues to be repeated as a morality play in many venues.
I don't think they are trying to steal sympathy. I think they just view themselves as the center of the universe and cannot empathize with any other group. Also, in order for their religion to be the "truth" they must be "persecuted".

33

My so-called life

by riko in

hello everyone..i just wanted to introduce myself and tell you a little bit about my experiences.. i'm 23, have been raised in the truth all my life.

when i was 18, i made a foolish decision to get married, something i knew deep down i wasn't ready for, still being very much in the 'bloom of youth'.

i reluctantly saw my future as being one of jehovahs witnesses and with all my adolescent drives, i moved away from home to marry a man with about the same maturity as me.

evita

Welcome Riko

You seem wise beyond your years as a result of your difficulties. Your story is heartbreaking and all too familiar. I know you'll find much acceptance and support here on this board.
Sending a hug your way, Eva

23

Just sayin Howdy

by forsharry in

i saw that other people had done this and i figured it would be a good way to introduce myself.

i've been reading many of the threads and let me tell you that it's comforting to read that others feel the same way i have felt about being in the organization.

i'm not sure how much i can contribute as far as delectible tidbits of information, but i have replied to a couple of threads to, if nothing else, interject some 'humor' into things.

evita

Welcome forsharry

Your experience with the JW sounds so painful. Yes, everyone's stories have much in common and yet every story is unique.
Thanks for sharing yours.
Eva

39

Do you find it difficult to tell your JW parents you love them?

by misspeaches in

jw
friends

does anyone find it difficult to express their emotions to their jw parents?

my father has never been a jw and i feel comfortable enough to tell him how much i love him without hesitation.

when it comes to my jw mum i feel like it is forced and then i feel resentful and then i feel guilty all at once.

evita

Everyone has expressed their feelings so eloquently here. I really can't add anything as I'm too emotional to think straight right now.
Merry's comments sum up my relationship with my mom before her death last year at age 69. Even simple shows of affection were painful due to unresolved hurts and disappointments.
When my mom was dying she tried to express her regret over "the walls that were between us". She called me repeatedly crying and saying "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry". I could barely listen; it was too agonizing. She was so torn up at the end, so much inner turmoil and regret. I tried reassuring her so that she could die in peace. She died still believing that she was of the annointed and had a heavenly hope. She probably still believed I would die at Armageddon. But in the present she was able to show love for me and my family. She tried so hard even while dying to make up for lost time. I was by her side talking to her as she passed away.

I am still haunted and devastated by the whole experience. It seems like such a waste of a beautiful, creative, sensitive person. Her personality was distorted by years of cognitive dissonance and self-created trauma. And I regret the many, many years I spent as an angry and resentful daughter.

When she was dying, she wrote a letter to me. It's been almost a year and I still cannot bring myself to read it. I miss her so much.
Eva

24

Shunning: Is it really a bad thing?

by thinker in

i met my jw wife about 5 years ago.

she da'd shortly after we met and like most people i thought it was terribly strange and wrong that her family shunned her.

for the first two years of our marriage my wife would call her parents on a fairly regular basis.

evita

After I left the dubs in my early 20's, my mother shunned me for 10 years. At first I was devastated. Then I realized I could do nothing about it so I began to make a new life for myself out in the so-called world. In retrospect, those 10 years were a blessing. Instead of spending emotional energy on beating dead horses I worked, got my degree, got married and had three kids. I did submerge a lot of my pain and anger towards the org that would come up later to haunt me. But the reprieve allowed me to create a life for myself and I am so grateful for that. The complete break was painful but necessary for me to move on.
It's ironic how shunning can have the opposite effect of what's intended. They think we'll cave and come groveling back. But a taste of freedom can be an amazing thing.
Eva

26

Since I'm New Here Fill Me In!

by weinermcgee in

jw
friends

evita

My mom started studying when I was 14
I was baptized at 15.
Auxiliary pioneered off and on while in H.S.
Started to feel very trapped at 16.
After graduating from H.S. decided I wanted to go to college. Was told NO.
Worked and faked it for a few years until I could move out.
Left at 22 and faded. Had one phone call from the elders and I refused to meet with them.
That was over 20 years ago. Unfortunately, my mom stayed a devoted dub and we had a very hard and painful relationship until she died last year.
Now I have no real connection to the borg except that it never seems to go away.
Eva