evita

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Posts by evita

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  155

  Whats the dumbest reason youve been counseled?

  by avishai in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  my friend was counseled for having a bad attitude because he wore white socks w/ his suit.

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  evita

  Yeah, you're right looking_glass
  I can laugh now but it sure wasn't funny back then!
  Eva
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  155

  Whats the dumbest reason youve been counseled?

  by avishai in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  my friend was counseled for having a bad attitude because he wore white socks w/ his suit.

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  evita

  In my late teens, my best friend was an elders daughter from another congregation. She wore a ton of makeup, had her hair professionally colored, and tooled around in a 2-door sporty car. She was an only child and quite priveleged compared to the rest of us poor slobs. We used to travel around together, occassionally visiting family friends. Once we visited a family of very strict dubs. I can't remember how we knew them. One elderly member had a photo of the pope and Hitler during WWII that he showed us. After we left, they couldn't find the picture so they accused my friend of taking it. I remember being spoken to by the elders and they said my friend was suspected because she wore so much makeup. Well, of course they found the pic and I don't remember hearing any apologies. Despite her "worldly" appearance she was a loyal dub. I was the one who left.
  Another time I was counseled for having lunch at school with an unbaptized girl who was engaged to marry an unbeliever. Bad association. I was so lonely at school and she was very nice to me.
  I was told I couldn't aux pioneer because my mag placement was too low. They were right on this one, I had no business pioneering because I hated field service and was terrified of dogs and people.
  Then there was the time we had a new pioneer in our cong. We were a rural congregation and he was a hip kid from the city. Everyone worshipped at his feet. I went out in service with him and he drove recklessly and was very insulting. So I told my mom I wouldn't go out with him. She told the elders what happened and I was counselled for not respecting a brother and pioneer and can I try to be less judgemental. I think he got a slap on the hand later for sleeping with the PO's wife.
  This whole topic makes me very sad remembering how misguided and repressed we all were.
  Eva
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  14

  Whatever phase this is....

  by merfi in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  ~sigh~ hoping for a little bit of commiseration, or at the very least someone tell me this is normal and this too shall pass?

  i'm in such a weird funk.

  but i'm funky... i guess i *do* somewhat miss a few of the 'friends' at the kh.

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  evita

  Hi merfi
  You're doing great! Leaving a cult is not for the faint of heart. For many, the most difficult time is right after making the big break. The loneliness and uncertainty can be overwhelming. But it does get better and you will be amazed at your ability to heal and move on.
  Hugs,
  Eva
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  12

  One of the twins had a wreck

  by MsMcDucket in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  she just had the wreck this afternoon.

  she appears to be okay, so far, just a few cuts and bruises.

  the car is totalled.

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  evita

  MsMcDucket
  
  So sorry about the accident. I had a similar one coming home from college many years ago. Very scary!
  
  I'm glad your daughter is okay and that she has friends who love and support her. I'm sure it is bittersweet to see your children bonding so strongly with others, especially JW's. You know what damage that can do to family relationships.
  
  My sister-in-law had a tough time as a teenager. She left home, joined AA and found sponsors who became her new "parents". She even called them "mom and dad" in front of her real parents. It took many years, but eventually her sponsors had their own children to deal with and the relationship changed. My sister-in-law had to start working on a relationship with her family who she had rejected all those years.
  
  IMHO, no one can replace your mom. I hope your daughters recognize that soon.
  
  Hugs,
  Eva
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  37

  The cancer has changed my wife

  by outoftheorg in

  1. watchtower
  2. medical

  we found out that she has pancreatic cancer that has spread to the liver and blood vessels.

  she opted for chemo.

  although we have good insurance, we still have to pay quite a bit towards the $17000.00 bill every three weeks for treatment.

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  evita

  Dear outoftheorg
  This is such a difficult and sad situation. My mom was 69 when she died of cancer a little over a year ago. She only lived for eight weeks after her diagnosis and she chose not to have chemo for much the same reasons as your wife. We called in home hospice and they were very helpful to our whole family. They know all about quality of life issues and have lots of resources to help the family.
  It was so hard to deal with the whole thing day after day. I was very afraid and basically freaked out at the thought of losing my mom. I still can't believe she's gone.
  The best thing you can do is just be there for your wife as much as you can. You will never regret the time and love you share right now. Everyone else will have to deal with their issues in their own way. You have to focus on what's most important to you. Gently remind others of your priorities so you don't get distracted with relatively unimportant things. All these things are easier said than done when you're in crisis mode so be forgiving of yourself. Get the meds and support you need. Don't be ashamed to ask for help.
  My heart goes out to you and your wife and loved ones.
  Eva
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  15

  THANK YOU

  by leftbelow in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i sat awake last night thinking of all the nice people on this board and wanted to share a little about my situation.

  my wife suffered a miscarriage (it was our 3rd) this time at 4 months.

  we have tried for 6 years and we were sure this would be the one.

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  evita

  To left below and wife
  I don't know what to say except I am so sorry for your loss.
  I wish you happier times ahead.
  Eva
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  19

  Support please

  by unique1 in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  leftbelow is a very private person so i will not spill all the details here, but he has experienced a great loss.

  due to circumstances he may not be able to log on for a few days, however i feel support in all ways helps.

  please keep him and his family in your thoughts and prayers.

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  evita

  So sorry to hear of your difficulties. Will be thinking of you.
  Eva
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  29

  Which annual JW event did you dislike the most?

  by jambon1 in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i actually never liked the memorial.

  it was`nt a very spiritual occasion at all really.

  i hated feeling guilty about not doing the scheduled bible reading.

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  evita

  Circuit Assemblies were so boring. They were always in dull places like Yuba City or Fremont. The assembly halls were dull, lifeless buildings with no place to hide. At least at the district conventions you could kill some time walking to the farthest bathroom.
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  7

  Good Friend dying - Update

  by pratt1 in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  first, thanks to all for your encouraging posts.. it was exactly what i need to boost my spirits before visiting my friend.

  as i expected he was/is in pretty bad shape.

  he underwent a procedure right before i arrived that did not seem to have the desired effect.

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  evita

  pratt1
  I'm so amazed that you were able to say just the right thing at such a difficult time.
  That is one of the things I most regret when my mom was dying. I was so distraught that I wasn't able to be as comforting as I wanted to be. Every day I think of things I wish I had told her.
  It's times like these that we find out what we're made of. Your friend is lucky to have you.
  Eva
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  15

  I thought today was a good day....

  by collegegirl21 in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  so i wake up feeling alright, i have to unbraid my hair (which will take well into the night time) and so i come downstairs, turn on the computer and chat and unbraid my hair, thinking, this is a good day.

  low and behold my mother comes down... "sh*****, i need the computer.

  " "ok, mom..." i put an away message on my aim and then when she sits down, "i don't want you talking on that thing, jehovah wouldn't like that.

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  evita

  This is a very hard situation. I was there at your age and decided to move away from home at that point. Yes, it has a lot to do with the JW's but it is also very common growth situation. Even though you are in college, you need to move away. You feel the tug and pull of the seperation process as does your mom. It's very natural but made more difficult by the witness stuff.
  Keep moving towards independence... it will get better.
  Eva