Mom started studying when I was 14. After that I didn't have a much of a choice.
Posts by evita
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106Another poll: raised in or came in?
by under_believer insomeone asked a question in the "what generation are you" thread:.
were you "raised in the truth," or did you "come into the truth?".
i was raised..
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18
Were you a BRAT during your family bible studies?
by kid-A ini was a monster!!!
lol.....i would always ask extremely difficult questions about the "troof" to my parents during our "watchtower family indoctrination hour"........ my parents often got so pissed off i would sent to my room without supper!
my favourite memories of our family watchtower studies involved.
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evita
Even being a single mom, my mother was encouraged to have a family study with us. We were new in the "truth" and all 3 of us kids were having seperate bible studies with various cong. members. After my mom was baptized, she was supposed to study with us as the head of household. The study just enraged me for some reason. My behavior was the worst and I really tortured my poor mother.
To this day I can not explain the rage and claustrophobia I felt at our family study. Even thinking about it fills me with anxiety, shame, and regret. I think that at 14 I was struggling so hard with issues of autonomy and control. We never did have a regular family study as I just would not cooperate. Even after I was baptized at 15, I refused to study. -
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How long did it take you to get over it?
by AK - Jeff inone of the posters here - before i knew she was a poster here - in fact before i knew of this site at all, sent me an email early on in my exit.
she likened the whole leaving thing with grieving over a dead loved one - said it took most about two years to work thru all the phases of that loss - denial, anger, etc.. i think she had it about right - that's about how long it took me.
but without jwd it would have been longer.
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evita
Nic
Thank you for your kind words. I needed that as I have been quite down about my mother lately. My mom was only 69 when she died a little over a year ago. We had been so close before I left the JW's. My mother was beautiful, intelligent, and creative. She had so much life in her before the dubs came along. But she also had emotional problems and severe depression which made her vulnerable to the cult. I spent many years feeling angry with her for her stubborn fanaticism and bitter about my lost years as a dub.
I am no longer angry, only sad. I hope time will help me understand and accept the way things turned out.
Thanks again for your understanding post.
Eva -
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How long did it take you to get over it?
by AK - Jeff inone of the posters here - before i knew she was a poster here - in fact before i knew of this site at all, sent me an email early on in my exit.
she likened the whole leaving thing with grieving over a dead loved one - said it took most about two years to work thru all the phases of that loss - denial, anger, etc.. i think she had it about right - that's about how long it took me.
but without jwd it would have been longer.
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evita
Even though I have been out for over 20 years I still am not completely "over it". My mother stayed in and shunned me for many years. Then we got to the point where we could have friendly lunches together. Even though she was still a JW and also believed she was one of the anointed, we were slowly beginning to repair our relationship. Then she became ill and passed away.
I have had a difficult time accepting the loss of my mom, not just in death, but to a cultish religion. So many wasted years. I loved and miss my mom and I don't know if I will ever be completely "over it".
I have a good life and a beautiful family, but there are times when I feel very sad and wonder why I had to lose my mother to this religion.
Eva -
14
Would you believe...
by La Capra ini just became a doctor?
juris doctor to be exact.
done, caput.
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evita
Congratulations!
That is an amazing achievement. Enjoy your success!
Eva -
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My Story
by XJW4EVR ini was adopted into a jw family in southern california.
my birth mother gave me up after 6 months (the terms mom & dad refer to my adoptive/real parents).
she gave me up due to the fact that she already had a three year old boy, and back in the late sixties it was not as socially acceptable to be a single mother.
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evita
Something similar happened to me during a Catholic Youth retreat that I went to with some friends after I left the org. Some groovy priest who related well with teens was in charge. We did a lot of team building and encounter type stuff. Then he asked each one of us to come up and have a moment of silence with him. As soon as I was near him I began crying and shaking so badly I couldn't stop. He spoke to me quietly and asked me to please go see a counselor after the retreat. Yes, all that pent up stuff.
Eva -
13
When i was a JW
by KW13 ini remember i was in high school and i really wanted to get on the theocratic ministry school.
i was making progress, started getting responsibilities like the microphones, helped do little jobs e.t.c and slowly i was being brought into the center of the congregation.. i went for my "interview" to get on the theocratic ministry school and...... they knocked me back.
told me 'someone' had told them i was swearing and even if it wasn't true they wanted me to spend more time upbuilding my faith.
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evita
I was all set to get baptized at the age of 15. The circuit assembly was coming up. Then I went out in FS and one of the elders overheard me talking back to my mother. Well, I was hauled before the elders and had to beg and plead to be allowed to get baptized. I was afraid of being humiliated and having my younger sis get baptized before me. It was so hard being perfect all the time.
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David Willis
by Junction-Guy inwell its finally time i cast away all remaining reluctance from my jw days.
most everyone i have met in person knows me, but this is only the 2nd time ive ever come forward with my identity on an xjw board, and frankly im at a point in my life where i no longer could give a rat's rear end if anyone finds out.
im an open opposer of the wt society and everything it stands for.. darin willis is my brother and moncie (monica) is my mom.
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evita
Hi Dave
That took some courage. I know you still have some difficult times ahead as you make your break from the JW's but I hope good things start happening for you.
Eva -
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worst Bookstudy book
by darth frosty inwhat is the book you liked the least studying at the bookstudy?
for me it was the isaiah books.
side question which book did you like the best?
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evita
The worst books were the brown ones followed by the green and blue ones. Obviously it's all a great big blur but the revelation one I do remember as being particularly hideous. And the sex one was so embarassing I thought I would die.
Eva -
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Worst/strangest bookstudy group
by Virgochik inok, i was reading the "worst bookstudy book" thread, and it got me thinking about the worst book study groups i went to.
once, my dad was study conductor and the study was held in an elderly sister's home.
there was antique furniture and doilies on the tables.
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evita
I went to the same bookstudy for years at an elders house. The home was about 800 sq. ft. so you can imagine how small the living room was. In the summer the temp would sometimes reach the high 90's, even into the 100's. We were all crammed in there in our suits and pantyhose with no air conditioning. Ugh!
The only other young people besides my brother and sister were the elders kids. But they had other relatives there and they would all just sit together and laugh at their own private jokes. Occasionally we would see that they had treats for after the meeting but we were never invited to stay.
I pass that little house often on the way to visit my in-laws. It seems like a lifetime ago. I don't think anyone from that group is still in the "truth" except for the elder. His wife passed away and all the kids and relatives are out.