I'm glad you said Catholic wedding - because they sure don't dress up to go to Catholic church at all - jeans and t-shirts are what I see them wearing around here!
Nellie
JoinedPosts by Nellie
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5
The jw uniform
by carla inthe other day child tells me how she saw a guy in a suit/tie and it just made her feel ick, thinking it was a jw.
so we were laughing about how a few years back seeing a guy in a suit would not have such an effect upon us and how when we used to see cars of people all dressed up on saturday's we always assumed it was people on their way to a wedding, and probably a catholic wedding at that!
because they do the noon mass thing sometimes!
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Sex and JWs I want to know what you think "he played the God Card"
by jonie ini was a jw but left about 8 years ago, my husband wanted to go back so we have tried, i did not do so good.
being gone so long just helped me realize this is totally false, i look at the jws as lambs being lead to their deaths.. fast forward to now, we are both in our 40s and i have had medical side effects from using birth control and other meds as birth control.
my body can not take anymore, i have suffered breast cyst and uterus cyst, so i asked my husband who has an issue with using condoms because he does not reach a climax, and has to masturbate, to use something that would offer us a permanent result such as him getting a vasectomy.. his reaction is like why i feel even more strongly that jws are wrong.
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Nellie
Scully - talk about reading between the lines. Fortunately (or unfortunately) I know the two involved . . . and you're right - there's more going on between his ears than between his legs. And nothing, including therapy, counseling, or the elders, is getting through to this guy. He's living in his own fantasy world!
We girls have had this discussion . . . time and time again. She knows she needs to leave . . . but her own issues keep her there. She's looking for strength - hopefully, the strength to leave (and not the strength to endure). I keep telling her that her concern has got to be her and the kids. That God doesn't want her to spend the rest of her life miserable, alone and afraid (yes there's a potential physical threat - he's that unstable!) She's worried about how he'll react and/or deteriorate after she leaves. Until she can get rid of this guilt . . . she'll be there and miserable...or he'll eventually snap and I'll lose a dear friend.
I pray one of you can get through to her because I can't seem to.
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25
Do the right thing
by coolhandluke ini have a story for you.
it relates to being an ex-jw but you don't get that till the end unlessin of course you are a smart cookie and can figure it out before then.
i love playing cards.
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Nellie
I think you may be attributing way too much forethought and abilities to someone who you clearly identify as way too drunk to even know where her keys were! I realize that your feelings are clouded by your past experiences with her and her self-centeredness, but in this particular instance chalk it up to being a nice guy. No one's forcing you to turn this one incident into a relationship. You don't have to invite her over again. Rhe next time you see her just say, "Hey, feeling better? Good - enjoy your night." And don't invite her into your world.
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Do the right thing
by coolhandluke ini have a story for you.
it relates to being an ex-jw but you don't get that till the end unlessin of course you are a smart cookie and can figure it out before then.
i love playing cards.
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Nellie
Luke - you did the right thing! Or rather . . . you did one of the "right thing" options that you had in front of you. Ultimately the decisions we make have to be decisions that WE can live with. You didn't do this for her . . . really, you did it for you. You would've felt terrible knowing that she was taken advantage of in her condition. In the big picture of your life, what did it cost you? A few groceries.
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This really sucksÂ…Living a double life for the sake of family...
by tooktheredpill inguys: i just need to vent a little.
as you may know, ive been working for a couple of months, trying to make my wife think by herself.
she started to do it, and i noticed it when she started arguing with her parents about some wt policies some weeks ago.
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Nellie
RedPill & Scotts -
I was once that wife with the fading husband. Other than saying to me, over and over, it's only an organization; my husband also couldn't bring himself to trashing the organization to me. I was worried about him (and honestly about us) as I watched him move further and further away from the "truth." Although I always knew he loved me, I worried that w/o the rules of the organization, he might think about cheating or leaving me. I can honestly say that that's what my worst fear was. Everyone's road is different. My advice to you is simple - YOU MUST MAKE SURE SHE IS SECURE IN YOUR RELATIONSHIP!! She'll fight you tooth and nail to stay in if she thinks she's losing you!!! She'll run to the elders for help as she sees you pulling away. Now is the time to reassure her! If she's secure, she'll be able to hear you . . . eventually. Even if she doesn't agree, she'll be able to hear you.
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Hello, Newbie here
by disillusionedandscared ingoodevening all.
i am new here and thought i would introduce myself.
this is my official first post on this board.
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Nellie
Welcome Honey! Great to hear you and your husband are on the same page. Me and mine went through this together also - although for different reasons. I'm happy to report that you can have a happy marriage on the other side!
Anyway... a couple of notes: Take some time and read a few posts (even older ones) especially about topics that interest you. I'd make sure to include a few on the UN situation and the blood issue. Then ask your own. Then when you're ready, go buy Crisis of Conscience by Ray Franz. Yes, the Governing Body member who was disfellowshipped. His book really gives you an inside look at all that is the Governing Body - truly eye opening!
Oh yeah, one more thing . . . be prepared for the amount of time you'll spend here. There's a wealth of information! Welcome again!
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My jw brother wants to be my facebook friend lol
by free2think inok so im starting to think that maybe, just maybe facebook and i arent meant to be friends.
since ive joined i keep having old jw friends finding me on there.
which is fine because i just deny their friendship, we weren't that good friends anyway.. anywho i just logged on to find that my brother has now sent me a friend request.
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Nellie
I take it that you're not officially out. If you and your df'd friends don't regularly trash the org - it may be an opportunity for him to see them as regular people. But then again, if you think he'll just go tattling, he probably will.
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How many DF'd and DA'd ex-JWs still believe it's the truth?
by Nellie ini just got off the phone with my sister-in-law.
we don't talk regularly at all - but today the discussion turned to our beliefs.
she's da'd herself 15 years ago, but she is still filled with guilt over not being able to live up to the standards of the witnesses.
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Nellie
Drew, I agree. After you truly decide to move on, it's kind of scary. You have to start making your own choices about what you will or won't do! The safety net is gone. I remember the first October I considered letting my kids go out on Halloween. Before I made the decision I did research on it - What really is Halloween all about? I asked neighbors and friends who were Christians (of various faiths) how they thought about it and why. Then I decided that I wanted to do it. I decided that the image and "truth" about what I had been taught, wasn't in fact factual.
I now make a conscience effort to examine every decision to make sure that I'm not super-imposing what I "thought I knew" with the reality. It takes a while, but it's nice being able to explore who I really am and who I want to be.
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How many DF'd and DA'd ex-JWs still believe it's the truth?
by Nellie ini just got off the phone with my sister-in-law.
we don't talk regularly at all - but today the discussion turned to our beliefs.
she's da'd herself 15 years ago, but she is still filled with guilt over not being able to live up to the standards of the witnesses.
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Nellie
TIME TO EMBRACE THE WORLD AGAIN WITH ALL ITS TROUBLES AND TRY TO CONTRIBUTE AND HELP IT IN SOME WAY. THIS IS OUR DUTY AND COMMISSION AS CARING HUMANS.
Now THAT is a powerful statement and one that I wholeheartedly agree with! I have 2 goals in life . . . 1 - to raise my children to be kind, loving, spiritual, upstanding members of society and 2 - to try to make my world a better place. I'm not trying to save the world . . . just make my little portion of it a little bit better. I wasn't being true to those goals as a witness. I absolutely did not want to pass on the hangups and prejudices I saw other witness parents instilling in their children! And I didn't believe that the future new system negated our responsibility to be proactive in helping our current world. After all - none of us were guaranteed survival or resurrection, right? Why not do your best now, while hoping for the future.
Anyway that's all behind me now. I've left. And I grieve for those others who've left and yet haven't really. There's an old saying: "Shit or get off the bowl" . . . well if you've gotten off the bowl, why are you still squatting? You owe it to yourself to stand up and walk away!
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How many DF'd and DA'd ex-JWs still believe it's the truth?
by Nellie ini just got off the phone with my sister-in-law.
we don't talk regularly at all - but today the discussion turned to our beliefs.
she's da'd herself 15 years ago, but she is still filled with guilt over not being able to live up to the standards of the witnesses.
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Nellie
She disassociated herself because she felt she couldn't live up to the requirements and didn't want to be a hypocrite. But today she says, she STILL has to decide between living the life she wants (which doesn't conform to the requirements of the organization) and being obedient to the "truth."