i have seen a couple of threads today about ones that went to a convention.
they were complaining that their experience was not good in doing so.
in my opinion when its over its over.
In my last few years I made a couple of deliberate efforts to be seen at a DC - just showing up at lunch break, saying hi to a lot of familiar faces, 'yes it's a great program this year.... oh I liked the talk about love...'
I wanted to point out that Terry in no way made trouble with the attendants - he was just spotted at the door by a no-life bint who wanted some kind of melodrama for the day.
i'm trying to figure out how to word what i have to say to mom, and i'm just not cuttin it.
here's the story...came in the "truth" with mom, i was 13, she was going thru a divorce.
she's convinced to this day that we would have no relationship if it wasn't for the fact that we found the witnesses.
Wow, I could talk about this for weeks, but here's the thing that stands out to me: why is your hubby talking to her? How can he not understand how much this hurts you, and regardless of who said what, isn't he supposed to be take your side? I don't have kids but... I don't get that he can't see how damaging your mum would be to them.
Then again, I don't know you or her, and I only know a tiny part of the story. Here's the only thing that works for me: ignoring the big elephant in the room and swallowing my righteous indignation. We're going to live longer than them, and we generally don't have to spend very much time with them. I focus on making the very short times we spend together as gentle, kind and fun as possible. It's a ridiculous dream because of the big elephant in the room, but there is no point - NO POINT - in getting the ugly conversations started because they never stop. They go for hours, days, weeks and years, and for the rest of your life. Talk about the kids, the neighbours, the job, the house, the mortgage, the redecorating, the vacation you took, your new exercise program, your dance lessons, the car, the tv shows you both like, the college the kids are talking about going to. Talk about the real stuff. She won't care, she won't be interested, she probably won't engage, but it's the only way to keep yourself in the same room as her so she doesn't start any mind games with the kids. It will also create a series of half-okay memories for your kids - they'll respect that you made an effort.
You can't change her, you can't make her respect you. You can only control the things you talk about. Don't talk about the witness stuff. Don't try to find nice ways to do it. It's a losing game.
this is a stupid story if it is a story at all..... quentin and i decided we'd go to the district convention since it is right here in our home town.. why?.
oh, curiousity.
a desire to find my old prison buddies.
What a silly little bint she was.
that's what my dad has said at various times over many years.
i think it helps encourage him that the end must be very near and the paradise will be here soon.
my thought has always been "oh yes it can get a lot worse.
They'll say it in the same talk that they've said "We are so grateful here in *insert relatively lucky country* to have these freedoms / low crime rate / religious rights...".
i live with my hubby and children outside of my native country.
we will be going home for a vacation soon after many years.
we're faders and most of our jw relatives have adopted a don't ask-don't tell policy about our decision and we are perfectly fine with it.
Do your best to control what you do with that particular couple; you'll be spending time with your parents but if they show up, get everybody out of the house and to a public place where they can't get too serious on you. Get to places they're at late, leave early. Practice saying "I'm not comfortable talking about that" or "You know, it isn't really that important for us to talk about that". Change the subject - have photos to show off, stories to tell. Be in charge of the conversation so it's not all about them.
do you think they all ended up being elders because they were ambitious and loved to exercise authority over others?.
or do you realize that each elder has his own story and that some became elders under great pressure?.
do you really think that all of the elders enjoyed participating in judicial committees?.
Good questions. I'm glad I've only known a couple of corrupt controlling dictators. I don't think that's luck either - I don't think elders are inherent power-abusers. I've known a lot of hypocrites but the good:bad ratio would match up to the general population. The guys who disfellowshipped me; yeah they were pretty ignorant, but as much as I wish bad things on them, I also know they did me a great favour.
Honestly, I don't think about elders very much.
http://youtube.com/watch?v=eu9h4qszk4o&feature=related.
"winning smiles!!
".
http://youtube.com/watch?v=eu9H4qsZK4o&feature=related
"Winning smiles!!"
no, this is not a joke.
having actually managed to survive through the entire 3 grueling days of the dc after attending the friday session today (hit sat and sun last weekend) i was initially going to make a criticism of some of the parts & points at the dc.
however, something that i witnessed today changed my mind.
Wow, now that IS appalling. A lot of old folk die at the convention; usually a couple a year where I was going (big enough convention). It's a bit like ANZAC day veterans; they save themselves up for the parade, or other folks who hang on until Christmas or their birthday party with a zero.
Here's to the memory of that poor woman.
i want to make sure i don't accidentally call mum in the middle of a session.
i also want to know when the rest of the family get their hands on the new book about gods loving rules; eg, before or after my next visit?
there's a reprint of the info re how to treat your disfellowshipped family like shyte in it, it's going to set my family back another five years.
Heh! Well no actually. As it happens I was just watching a video of a woman playing "America America" on a kazoo, and it sounded very much like a kingdom melody, and I went into one of those comas that you go into when you're singing a kingdom melody. I don't have that kind of time these days...
yes, apparently it's official.
i am an apostate.
i have been df'd for about 5 years now.
Congratulations! (And commisserations, it's a bit creepy how powerful that word can be).
Ditto re the hypocrisy; my sister can deliberately miscarry a child, but as long as she hasn't rejected Jehovah, everything is okay with my mum.
