Posts by sass_my

103

How many of you are childfree by choice?

by rebel8 in

by that, i mean you do not want to have children.. i have been told since birth it would not be safe for me to have children, so i never even considered it.

i never went through a grieving period because the concept of having babies was not something i once had and lost.

i always envisioned myself as a happy career woman.. i recently married and am still sure i don't want children.

sass_my_frass

What a great thread. I'll be married shortly, and my man has just gotten the chop... we made the choice, well actually I think how it happened is, bear with me here....

I didn't notice I was single until I was 25, and then when my first fiance wanted to breed as soon as we could I had this picture of life in the midwestern suburbs, me, him, a baby seat... it freaked me out, and he scared me off. This time, it's my man who just doesn't want kids. He's also opposed to bringing more children into a fast-growing world, and would prefer to adopt. I actually agree with that; I'd rather give somebody elses kid a chance at a decent life than grow my own just for that baby magic. I got to thinking that if I'd ever really wanted them I'd have been aiming in that direction from a much younger age, and would have gotten to it. I also realised that life would be very complicated, me being some kind of witness... and finally I thought that my genes shouldn't stay in the pool.

So now the option to grow my own is gone, I'm good with that. Babies are very boring. We might do long-term fostering later on, and if that's working we might adopt, but I don't want the lifetime of emotional pulling on my heart. I want a simple life, and control over my finances.

You're better off putting $250000 into a retirement fund than into a child if you think you'll be lonely when you're old. My witness family barely speaks to my parents; it's not like their choice has paid off. It's a myth that you'll be happily surrounded by laughing grandchildren and sunshine. Your kids will be around you when you're old about as much as you are around your own folks, if you're lucky.

Crumpet, I think I love you.

26

Dad's and daughters...

by Frog in

jw
friends

lately i've been feeling incredibly frustrated by the relationship i have with a few members of my family who aren't attached to the org, or just hanging in by a thread.

my dad is one such person, love him to bits, but he really gives me the sh*ts with his poor me act grrrr.

i just get tired of always being the one who calls, who stays in contact, who visits etc.

sass_my_frass

That's great news Frog and Billy! I'm so worried about my Dad, the last few years have been tough for them in their world, my rebellion has split the family in so many ways, and Dad is one of the victims; my folks actually stood by me and now they're paying the price - my siblings have almost completely cut them off. So for now I'm okay with being the one who makes the contact; maybe they'll one day realise that the only kid contacting them is the one they're not supposed to be talking to. It might make them wonder who the Christian is.

21

Jehovah's Witness! Nothing but a period in the world novel.

by free2beme in

jw
friends

often, more so then not, my former witness friends have the habit of wondering why more people do not hear or know about things witnesses do in modern history.

yet in time, from being on boards like this one and from knowing far more people that are not witnesses, then ones that are or were.

the crazy acts of the early 1900's that gained public attention, were replaced with a more invisable conformed organization that really does very little to be noticed.

sass_my_frass

Well done, free! My perspective is changing, not quickly enough I think.

54

There were some good things about the organisation...

by Do I Stand Alone? in

jw
friends

i have read a number of experiences in this discussion forum and quite frankly, i would have to agree that many, if not all, were pretty terrible experiences if not all together traumatic.

i know that my personal 9-11 tragedy resulted in finding out that the watchtower society was involved with the united nations.

that pretty much said it all as far as my "career" in the organisation was concerned.

sass_my_frass

I can't imagine why you'd think that doing your prestudy was giving you an education.

As a woman I can't pretend that the school gave me public speaking skills... unless you count reading from a script, but I don't. I'd have done better with twenty years in a speaking club.

The field service was good for teaching me that I didn't want to be in sales.

14

Sending letters to all JWs I know.....

by Lilycurly in

after thinking a lot about it, i just felt i had to at least try something to make the local jws open their eyes.

i know it is most unlikely that any of them will even consider reading all of what i will send, but here's the plan:.

i've got a list of all their addresses (that i kept from before).

sass_my_frass

Curse my lifelong naivety...

yah, time for a new email address.

14

Sending letters to all JWs I know.....

by Lilycurly in

after thinking a lot about it, i just felt i had to at least try something to make the local jws open their eyes.

i know it is most unlikely that any of them will even consider reading all of what i will send, but here's the plan:.

i've got a list of all their addresses (that i kept from before).

sass_my_frass

I like the short, sharp postcard approach; by the time they realise they're being infected with apostacy, they've already read it all.

And I LOVE the email chain letter approach. Would require a lot of verbage about how great the growth rate is in Kraplakistan. I have hundreds of witness email addresses; but nobody on it would ever read email from me. How about I do yours and you do mine?

42

A letter to the Parents

by SixofNine in

jw
friends

a friend gave me permission to post this.

i think it's a good letter, it might help others formulate their thoughts; she understands it may not be read or considered deeply, but things can't get much worse with her family at this point anyway.

no contact is not that much different than contact once per year or less, and sometimes it's just really important to have the people who should know you, at least know you a little.

sass_my_frass

Thanks so much for your letter, it's brilliant! I related to so much of it. I might plagiarise parts of it one day for a similar letter to mine, if you don't mind.

27

Does watchtower society support any charity??

by Podiatrist in

jw
friends

just wondering, do you know of any?

?.

sass_my_frass

I used to get a lot of attitude for volunteer work I did for charities when I stopped going out on the preach. Now I sponsor a child and am running my own charity, and I am not going to tell my witness people about it, they'd be annoyed that the money isn't going into the kingdom hall fund.

It was always so frustrating that the only thing worth improving in people's lives was their spirituality... that helping them learn to read or make a living or find water or build sanitation was too short-term. Most witnesses personally wouldn't even consider it, and if the organisation ever did, you could be sure that they'd make a big deal of it. Every truckload of used clothing that made it through some despots border crossing would have a circuit assembly closing talk remark made about it, from what I remember.

26

NEW JW book arrived in mail...

by crazyblondeb in

jw
friends

i don't know want topic this should fall under, don't really care right now.

i've been pissed off most of the afternoon.

my jw stepdad, who until last month i have not spoken to in 10 years, sent me a book--"what does the bible really teach?

sass_my_frass

Crazy! Sorry Deb, that sounds like a bad time.

You did specify that you didn't want him to get in touch with you, so he shouldn't have. On the other hand, you did do a very big thing for him; forgive him, and he probably is very deeply grateful. As a witness, he must also show humility, so he wanted to express that, and it's never a bad time to go on the preach, hence the book. He might be thinking 'well she's forgiven me, so without all that bitterness, Jehovah might find his way back into her heart again'. Sigh. I am stunned that, after molesting you, he would think that you might one day 'come around' and want to go back to the organisation. It constantly amazes me how unrealistic and small-minded some people can be.

It's a tough call; whether to use this opening to explain to him what your new life is, or whether to just let it go, for fear of the hurt you open yourself up to. HUGS while you think about it.

Finally, CONGRATULATIONS on forgiving him! You must feel like you've really turned a corner.

14

Need advice from people with a JW partner

by sass_my_frass in

hi, i'll sum up: recently disfellowshipped, and am marrying my love, who is not a witness.

i'm jumping through the hoops to get reinstated (to get my family back, and then do the slow fade) but am going to review that choice as time goes by as i choose him as my new life, not them.

however right now i think that life will be better, long term, if i can pick up the phone and talk to my family, every now and then.

sass_my_frass

Thanks to all. I'm hoping we can pull it off too. So far our commitment has matched our confidence. I'm going to keep researching and reading, I just didn't want to ignore this, what will be the biggest issue in our lives, at least for now. That is, I don't want to make an issue of it, but it's worth knowing in advance some things that I can do to help it. I know that the attempt to get back in will be rough but I think it's worth it long-term. But I'm keeping my mind open and will be watching carefully for any possible damage that it will cause.

sass_my_frass

Posts by sass_my_frass