I compare the feeling of being 'special' and part of a 'worldwide brotherhood' to being in a club.... you're surrounded by people who feel the same way about you on something and now you're all together. The feeling gets very strong at big conventions and things doesn't it? But they're all just people who have no other social life, no other friends, and nothing else to plan their lives around. Try this; go to a concert of an old band you've always loved.... you'll get that same feeling of belonging.
sass_my_frass
JoinedPosts by sass_my_frass
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33
Benefits of being a Dub as a child
by pratt1 in.
i can't think of many benefits of growing up a a dub but i do remember that i always viewed the other dub kids as brorthers and sisters and they became my support system amongst the "worldly people".
i remember going into a new neighhood or a new school and knowing that once i met the dub kids there, i would automatically have friends and i would not be alone.. this was especially comforting to me because i was an only child, and many times i entered into a new school not knowing anyone and sometimes being the only black kid in the class, my dub peers made me feel welcome and accepted me into the circle immediately.. for many years i feel special to be part of this worldwide brotherhood, and i am sure it is the reason why now i am inafriad of changes and/or new surroundings.. did you have similar experiences?.
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Embarassing Situations on stage
by Candlestick02 inforgive me if this has been brought up before, but another thread reminded me of a few on-stage snafoo's.
anybody got any good ones?
like that made you lol?.
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sass_my_frass
I hated writing a script so that the householder would have to know exactly what to say when... so I'd just talk non-stop and have them nodding and 'oh', 'umm'.... One night I was ad-libbing and said 'Hallelujah!'
Now that I describe it, it doesn't seem so bad. I guess the meetings are so dull that any little change or bit of weirdness is really OUT THERE. The woman who heckled the public speaker got talked about for years.
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Truth Book from 1974
by Virgogirl indoes anyone remember "the truth that leads to everlasting life" book?
it was blue, and was intended as a six month home study book.
i think it came out in 1974at an assembly with much fanfare and gasping!.
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sass_my_frass
Yep, it was then rewritten as the Live Forever book when some of it became untrue, and this was rewritten as the Knowledge book when the Generation was clearly nearly dead. All three books were intended as an all-you-need package prior to baptism.
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Is Discussing Jehovah's Witnesses Therapeutic For You???
by minimus init is for me.
i find that when i tell a person exactly how witnesses think and why they believe in things the certain way they do, it feels good!
listening to myself express the craziness of the religion makes me abhor their practices and mind control.
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sass_my_frass
I love talking to you guys, and I've had to talk a lot to my workmates and new family about it too.... partly to explain why I'm a psycho-hose-beast at the moment (I quote my husband!) and just to get it off my chest. I always say 'they believe that ....' and 'they have cut me off...' etc, so that my audience doesn't think that I believe this is healthy behaviour. Got to pick your audience though.
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99
guys i really need your help
by Cordelia intodaythings have really come to a head and i have a massive decusion to make by 7pm tonight!.
basically i have been dfed since march tryed to get reinstated two weeks ago but they said no, thing is i only did it for my family esp my dad he is not well and i love him to pieces.
but when i got dfed i had a boyfriend and things have been up and down (hes put up with alot) but he is sticking by my side and i love him and want to be open about him and not lie anymore, .
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sass_my_frass
I don't know if you're being realistic about being reinstated... they're going to question you very thoroughly about your b/f and you might just give in and tell them that you've been seeing him all this time, in which case all the effort you've put in to be reinstated was wasted, because at the same time you were seeing him, so it doesn't mean anything to them.
And when you're finally reinstated, slwoly fading away again will be difficult for you, with all of your family ties to the organisation. It's not like you will be able to hide the life you want to live then any easier than you can now.
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99
guys i really need your help
by Cordelia intodaythings have really come to a head and i have a massive decusion to make by 7pm tonight!.
basically i have been dfed since march tryed to get reinstated two weeks ago but they said no, thing is i only did it for my family esp my dad he is not well and i love him to pieces.
but when i got dfed i had a boyfriend and things have been up and down (hes put up with alot) but he is sticking by my side and i love him and want to be open about him and not lie anymore, .
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sass_my_frass
I get the feeling that every time you talk to your Dad he will ignore what you're saying and give you another week to think about the marvellous proof he's provided for you.
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67
anyone ever wonder whether IT could be the TRUTH?
by Cordelia ini cant believe im posting this either!.
but ive got a huge decision to make wont go thru it all again its on my last thread, and i have decided that i am stopping going to the meetings completly (ive been dfed 7 months and because i didnt want to hurt my family even more i continued going to all the meetings and hid my boyfriend, wno was wonderful about it, put a letter of reinstatement in which they refused but relised by the way i paniked when i thought they might reinstate me that it is not what i want!).
i love my bf and want to be with him without any secrecy but i also want my family to accept him and still speak to me but i know that will not happen, so i have two choices either get reinstated and then leave (and risk losing mybf) or tell them now i dont want it and stop the meetings altogether before i go insane.. thing is to be free of the meetings and be with my bf, i will lose my family they are all so strong in the 'truth' they will not have any contact with me and my husband is divorcing me so ill lose finacially and my house and have to share time with my daughter, not to mention all my old friends who are wanting me back, and if i stop now all those months of trying to be reinstated will be wasted id be set right back,.
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sass_my_frass
Something that worries me; you talk more about losing your dad and losing his love than that of your boyfriend, and nothing at all about losing your daughter. There are people on this site who can tell you of the time their JW ex-partner used their position as an upstanding citizen and the support of the congregation to convince family court to give them full custody of their children, who they never saw again. You're in a situation which places you outside the support of your family, and the only thing technically stopping your husband from seeking a 'scriptural divorce' is that he hasn't any proof that you've been unfaithful. If he gets that proof, will that start the divorce proceedings. And if so, what will he do about child custody? He has the backing of his 'ministers' and the financial support of his family; you have.... what? I don't have children, but if I did that would be on my mind in your situation.
Sorry to throw this in, it might have come up on the forum previously but I've been a bit out of touch. And you certainly don't need it right now.
I know you need the support of your boyfriend during this time, but do try to understand that he's in square one with regards to understanding witness practices, so he's trying to get his head around that insanity, and also dealing with what he would see as your support of them. While you're still playing this game which enables you to maintain contact with your dad and prevents your ex from getting any proof of him, he has been show so very little respect as a man; his need to be able to look after you and guide you is overwhelmed by your moves to to keep him a secret. He would also see your desire to return to being a witness or at least retain contact with them as putting him at second place. It is going to be hard for you to maintain strength and love in this situation. So yes, you feel bad about what you're putting him through, and upset that he doesn't seem to understand what you're going through. I think that he probably does, but is unable to do anything about it, and men feel totally wrecked and helpless if they can't fix something. This would be displayed as a lack of interest, or affection, or concern and what women call 'understanding', (which isn't really understanding... it's just empathy). Of course he cares, but you're not using him to help you, you're just hiding him away and hoping that some solution will come along to make it all better. So what is a guy to do?
Something as important as love, is respect. If he is respecting your need to get through this and the time that it is taking, you should in turn respect that he's a man so he can't read your mind; he wants to understand, and loves you enough to be with you while you're going through this, and would so love to fix it for you. But as the invisible boyfriend, he is hearing that he is worth little respect. That will be wearing him down.
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67
anyone ever wonder whether IT could be the TRUTH?
by Cordelia ini cant believe im posting this either!.
but ive got a huge decision to make wont go thru it all again its on my last thread, and i have decided that i am stopping going to the meetings completly (ive been dfed 7 months and because i didnt want to hurt my family even more i continued going to all the meetings and hid my boyfriend, wno was wonderful about it, put a letter of reinstatement in which they refused but relised by the way i paniked when i thought they might reinstate me that it is not what i want!).
i love my bf and want to be with him without any secrecy but i also want my family to accept him and still speak to me but i know that will not happen, so i have two choices either get reinstated and then leave (and risk losing mybf) or tell them now i dont want it and stop the meetings altogether before i go insane.. thing is to be free of the meetings and be with my bf, i will lose my family they are all so strong in the 'truth' they will not have any contact with me and my husband is divorcing me so ill lose finacially and my house and have to share time with my daughter, not to mention all my old friends who are wanting me back, and if i stop now all those months of trying to be reinstated will be wasted id be set right back,.
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sass_my_frass
Ha, as if your dad is going to be okay with you deciding that it's not the truth when you're reinstated. Of course he's assuming that you'll 'come to your senses'. Actually he sounds a little out of touch from reality there from time to time. You have surprised them though, with the boyfriend. He probably took it really badly. So it seems that his threat to cut you off completely from today was just an empty threat, and he accepts that he has to give you more time? But telling you that you get to choose whether or not you go to the meetings as long as he doesn't know, doesn't that sound a bit immature to you? Like he just wants to bury his head in the sand? A lot of our families want to do this when it comes to finding out how we feel about The Truth; it is too important to them that the people around them affirm their faith, so they don't want to know that you're not going to be doing that, and don't want to know anything that would give them reason to have to shun you.
Much as I can validate your need to keep information contained until a time that you can deal with it, I'm pretty biased and not everybody sees it that way. When I got engaged this time I kept waiting for the perfect time to tell everybody, and it wore my baby down a lot.
Okay, your boyfriend having to hide from your ex is news to me. Is your ex a witness? Ex-witness? A violent or jealous type? This sounds like a bad time. If he's moving in, he shouldn't be afraid of anybody finding out about it, and you shouldn't be forced to keep it quiet. But there was that time that you weren't telling your family about him at all, so you kind of owe it to him really, if that's what he needs.
Can you also understand what life is like in your boyfriends shoes? And if you can put the rows aside, are you able to spend good times with him still? Can you remember why you hooked up with him, and are those reasons to do with your respect for him, and his for you? And if you still do, does anything else matter much?
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Street work
by pratt1 in.
maybe this only happens in urban neighborhoods but when i was growing up, many dubs engaged in street work, basically offering the magazines to people on the street as they walked to a destination.. usually it was an area with a lot of foot traffic at a time when many people would travel the area.. did you or people in your congo engage in this and were there any funny stories relating to this practice?
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sass_my_frass
I was in town for the last convention and a few days before it started an old lady with no English spotted my unfortunate 'soft touch' facial expression and waved some magazines at me. I said 'no thanks' and moved on. On the Friday afternoon of the convention she was up on stage with somebody translating the experiences she's had while out on the street work. "At times it can be discouraging but some people surprise me with their interest...."
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67
anyone ever wonder whether IT could be the TRUTH?
by Cordelia ini cant believe im posting this either!.
but ive got a huge decision to make wont go thru it all again its on my last thread, and i have decided that i am stopping going to the meetings completly (ive been dfed 7 months and because i didnt want to hurt my family even more i continued going to all the meetings and hid my boyfriend, wno was wonderful about it, put a letter of reinstatement in which they refused but relised by the way i paniked when i thought they might reinstate me that it is not what i want!).
i love my bf and want to be with him without any secrecy but i also want my family to accept him and still speak to me but i know that will not happen, so i have two choices either get reinstated and then leave (and risk losing mybf) or tell them now i dont want it and stop the meetings altogether before i go insane.. thing is to be free of the meetings and be with my bf, i will lose my family they are all so strong in the 'truth' they will not have any contact with me and my husband is divorcing me so ill lose finacially and my house and have to share time with my daughter, not to mention all my old friends who are wanting me back, and if i stop now all those months of trying to be reinstated will be wasted id be set right back,.
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sass_my_frass
I've wondered the same thing about the time being put in to being reinstated , and it is what is behind my deciding to get onto it straight away . But d o remember that although our situations are similar, the difference is that I completely trust my feelings about my hubbie and our marriage, and I'm nearly entirely convinced that it isn't The Truth (all that remains is that nagging fear in the back of my head that might not ever go away thanks to many years of
considered biblical trainingbrainwashing), so I know that I'm not willing to sacrifice my husband's security and my own sanity to please my family and get them to accept my phone calls again. (And that's all that will change if/when I'm reinstated; they won't suddenly love me again. They'll just angrily accept my contact with them because they have to, but they'll always resent what they consider my destructive influence upon the family.) We are not in this life to make our parents happy. I think somebody has already pointed out to you that our happiness responsibilites are more towards our partners and children. Your dad should be the one trying to make you happy, and in this case it would involve him giving you the space you need to work out what you want to do with The Truth. You have two things to work out, and in order to protect the feelings of your boyfriend, he's the one you should be focussing on. If at some other time in your life you decide to consider The Truth again and see if you want to make the effort to be reinstated, that door is not closed to you. Whether or not it will take more effort now or then might not really matter; since right now you don't actually want to be doing it, do you? Maybe if it's going to happen, it should only be because you really want to. I fear that, as somebody who has grown up being taught what to believe and not to think about it too hard, we will be the ones to tip the scale on your decision whether to keep trying to get reinstated for now. Do write down that pros and cons list, compare them. Be ruthless in what you put in it, spare nothing. Then look at the two lists and go with your gut instinct on which is more attractive. Sorry honey but you have to make your own choices! We only get one go at this life, and we're all just going with what seems to make sense. Also thanks for posting this here, it's given me the opportunity to clarify my own thoughts on it all!