Posts by Cordelia

99

guys i really need your help

by Cordelia in

jw
friends

todaythings have really come to a head and i have a massive decusion to make by 7pm tonight!.

basically i have been dfed since march tryed to get reinstated two weeks ago but they said no, thing is i only did it for my family esp my dad he is not well and i love him to pieces.

but when i got dfed i had a boyfriend and things have been up and down (hes put up with alot) but he is sticking by my side and i love him and want to be open about him and not lie anymore, .

ross you have hit the nail on the head! i told my dad that is why i have stuck things out and i think what has made me feel so bad now, and he said he understood but hes not going to be around forever and wants to see me ok before he dies!! that is emotional backmail (tho i know he doesnt mean it like that)

thing is it seems like the only thing i can do is just stop going altogether but i know it will hurt them so much, im just still trying to have everyone i love, thats why i thought about getting reinstated so i could speak to everyone and then dating my bf, but it wouldnt be fair to ask him to go back to hiding and just see me sometimes after all weve been thru, coz if i got reinstated he really would have to hide wouldnt he?

so. if i want to be with him seems the only choice is to stop completely going to meetings and be strong enough to stick by it, tho i will completely lose my family and i dont want to ever resent my bf for that.coz it isnt his fault,

why is there no easy way??

99

guys i really need your help

by Cordelia in

jw
friends

todaythings have really come to a head and i have a massive decusion to make by 7pm tonight!.

basically i have been dfed since march tryed to get reinstated two weeks ago but they said no, thing is i only did it for my family esp my dad he is not well and i love him to pieces.

but when i got dfed i had a boyfriend and things have been up and down (hes put up with alot) but he is sticking by my side and i love him and want to be open about him and not lie anymore, .

Cordelia

not been able to get to my computer for a few days, so just read your comments thanks i know u are all right and really appreciate your support,

i just spoke to my dad he wants to come up again on fri, and now is saying 'dont worry about the group just make thurs and suns' my mum spoke to me too! and said i have no choice but to do the right thing i said well ill be misserable she said i think i will be but really ill be happy coz i am doing it for jeh, i said ill do things for jeh but its the witnesses that are ruling my life jeh would want me to be happy (that didnt go down well.) my brother (a ms) has just said he doesnt want to go anymore so now my parents are so upset they said they feel dead inside i said if they feel like that anyway i may as well be happy and not go to the meetings anymore (that didnt go down well either!)

The piont now is; i obviously have to do something more drastric, but what?

i told my bf the big stand i have made but as i am still planning on going to some meetings (one reason is my little daughter is there and i sit with her half the meeting) he feels like he is still in the position he always was hiding from everyone! and thats not fair,

why cant i just be honest, (its such a shame im dfed wish i had just faded!)

99

guys i really need your help

by Cordelia in

jw
friends

todaythings have really come to a head and i have a massive decusion to make by 7pm tonight!.

basically i have been dfed since march tryed to get reinstated two weeks ago but they said no, thing is i only did it for my family esp my dad he is not well and i love him to pieces.

but when i got dfed i had a boyfriend and things have been up and down (hes put up with alot) but he is sticking by my side and i love him and want to be open about him and not lie anymore, .

Cordelia

thanks auld soul i have already said that tho that they must be false phrophets and he just printed out a wt of franz saying about 1975 'itcould be etc' not that they defo said 1975, he also said the wt admit their faults they are just so eager for jahs day!

as for them being false phrophets he says they never claim to be inspired so obviously they will get things wrong and that even jesus apostles got things mixed up,

about 607 he said well evryone is certain on 537 and its 70 years since then! but i told him i think it was talking about another 70 years, anyone put me straight on that?

im so sorry for anyone going thru simliar to what i am it is an evil society, i dont know why when getting dfed i didnt just leave it all behind like most people do,, why oh why did i just put my head down and go straight back tothe meetings??

99

guys i really need your help

by Cordelia in

jw
friends

todaythings have really come to a head and i have a massive decusion to make by 7pm tonight!.

basically i have been dfed since march tryed to get reinstated two weeks ago but they said no, thing is i only did it for my family esp my dad he is not well and i love him to pieces.

but when i got dfed i had a boyfriend and things have been up and down (hes put up with alot) but he is sticking by my side and i love him and want to be open about him and not lie anymore, .

Cordelia

cndidlynuts, my dad thinks i do truely have doubts because of things i have read about the society but he thinks given the chance he could dissprove everything.

He thinks i dont want to give him the chance because my emotions are involved because i want to be with the lad, but he is ignoring what i want and trying to helpme 'spritually' anyway!

so its abit of both,

thing is i guess i was stupid coz i thought that when id told them what i want even tho they would be heartbroke i thought theyd accept it but i think the only way my dad would never contact me again would be if he saw my bf and me together, i dont think hes going to stop coming round etc till then, but altho i dont want his pressure anymore i do not want to hurt him like that, im so confused, thats why my orignal plan was to get reinstated and then say i dont want it, but i would prob lose the bf that way, like i said im confused!!

54

How many of you shunned others when you were a JW?

by Lady Lee in

jw
friends

i know i did.. we had a young fellow who used to live at my grandmother's place.

in may ways he was like family.

after he moved out of my grandmother's place i saw him frequently.

Cordelia

<<<<MISS PEACHES>>>>>>

THE WHOLE SHUNNING RULE IS EVIL COLD HEARTED AND CRUEL,

i used to smile slightly at dfed ones (and then felt really rellbellious!) shame noone does that for me! how can they think that ignoring people so much can get them back without them being bitter and twisted!

ps. anyone got the references to where the dfing stance kept changing?

99

guys i really need your help

by Cordelia in

jw
friends

todaythings have really come to a head and i have a massive decusion to make by 7pm tonight!.

basically i have been dfed since march tryed to get reinstated two weeks ago but they said no, thing is i only did it for my family esp my dad he is not well and i love him to pieces.

but when i got dfed i had a boyfriend and things have been up and down (hes put up with alot) but he is sticking by my side and i love him and want to be open about him and not lie anymore, .

Cordelia

only just been able to reply to you all, my dad was here for hours last night and turned up again just now to 'use my toliet!' (he lives half an hour away!!)

i did stand my ground told them that all along i have felt this way and was only ever getting reinstated so i could have my family and friends back, i even said that when i was reinstated i was going to leave and date this boy, and that i really didint believe it is the 'truth' anymore

he was upset but actually very calm and nice (which made things harder) and he had bought loads of printed watchtowers about questions id asked, he seems to be able to answer most things (or at least thinks hes answered them) i told him i didnt want to be apostate but the society have got so many things wrong over the years that what i am concerned about is if they are also wrong about 'shunning' as it is breaking my family apart! i told him i think the bible does talk about punnishing wrongdoers but the whole stripping peoples humanity (shunning) is just an evil rule made up by controlling men. (he seems to think the only thing the society have got wrong is dates!) (by the way does anyone know where the wt is that says you defo cant have transplants?)

he said he knows why i feel like that, but kept saying that i am almost there im almost ready to be reinstated and if i stop the meetings now and be with the bf i will undo all my 8 months of hard work, he does have a point but i dont think theyd reinstate me for at least another 6 months and i think i would be mental by then, he said why dont i miss one or two meetings or even have a break for a few weeks and if i am feeling depressed go to his house (how would that help??)

i just stuck by it all, even said 'ok but even if it is the 'truth' i dont want to know because of the way they have treated me' and begged 'why cant u want me to be happy, which i would be if i didnt have the pressure of the 'truth' and was free to be with my bf ' but it was like it was falling on deaf ears, i told him i wanted to be with my bf and still when he was leaving he said a prayer and in it said i have two choices and he hopes i choose the right one the 'truth' the only thing that will make me happy!

WHY IS HE NOT LISTENING I TOLD HIM MY CHOICE!!!!!!!!!

99

guys i really need your help

by Cordelia in

jw
friends

todaythings have really come to a head and i have a massive decusion to make by 7pm tonight!.

basically i have been dfed since march tryed to get reinstated two weeks ago but they said no, thing is i only did it for my family esp my dad he is not well and i love him to pieces.

but when i got dfed i had a boyfriend and things have been up and down (hes put up with alot) but he is sticking by my side and i love him and want to be open about him and not lie anymore, .

Cordelia

Thanks so much everyone you have all made so much sense

i am so nervous at seein my dad tonight i love him with all my heart and am alittle scared that he will talk me round you see he really believes i am so close to being reinstated and it will seem like these 8months have been for nothing,

im going to tell him that my love is not conditional and that he is obeying a society which even if it is true i no longer want any part of!

thing is he actuelly said to me before that i could make him compromise and that even my mum said she doesnt want to be in the new world without me but i dont want to destroy their faith it is their life!

confused!

99

guys i really need your help

by Cordelia in

jw
friends

todaythings have really come to a head and i have a massive decusion to make by 7pm tonight!.

basically i have been dfed since march tryed to get reinstated two weeks ago but they said no, thing is i only did it for my family esp my dad he is not well and i love him to pieces.

but when i got dfed i had a boyfriend and things have been up and down (hes put up with alot) but he is sticking by my side and i love him and want to be open about him and not lie anymore, .

Cordelia

todaythings have really come to a head and i have a massive decusion to make by 7pm tonight!

basically i have been dfed since march tryed to get reinstated two weeks ago but they said no, thing is i only did it for my family esp my dad he is not well and i love him to pieces.

but when i got dfed i had a boyfriend and things have been up and down (hes put up with alot) but he is sticking by my side and i love him and want to be open about him and not lie anymore,

i have been lying to my lovely dad letting him think i am coming back when really its not what i want,

anyway today i take my 3 year old daughter to my mums and shes having another down day coz shes knows i am getting divorced and apparently loads of gossip is going round the jws about me! and she starts crying and shouting and i just have enough i tell her i dont believe its the truth and i love my bf so she kicks me and my daughter out,

then my dad is waiting round the corner and i just break down and tell him everything, and his answer is that he will come round to my house alot and study with me and answer any 'questions' i have and i say 'no i just dont want to go anymore and i want to be with my bf'

he was so hurt and is coming round at 7 tonight coz he said if i dont give my bf up for 6 months have no contact (so i can get reinstated) then he cant have anything to do with me and he is so hurt coz he thinks im so close to being reinstated,

i love him so much but i honestly feel like im gonna have a breakdown if i live this double life anymore, i dont want to lose my dad but i feel now is the time i must stand up and give me and my bf a proper go and stop the meetings all together!

will i be happier like that?? i know it will set me back if i ever did want to get reinstated but should i be honest even tho it will hurt my dad??

30

Can JW beliefs contribute to suicide?

by TD in

jw
friends

it may sound like a strange question, but aspects of jw behavior that are incomprehensible to outsiders actually make a morbid kind of sense when viewed through the lens of jw doctrine.

for example, about 10-12 years ago there was a single mother in my wifes congregation.

during the course of conversation, she learned that my wifes grandmother had recently passed away.

Cordelia

i dont know about their beliefs causing it i guess it could,

but i would definately say their horriable dfing and shunning rule could, if i didnt have my little girl i sometimes think it would be better not to be here, of course i would never do that but im just saying that the evil manmade rules definately push you to it coz theres no way out of them theres no way to win when you are dfed theres just pain and heartache everywhere!

ps, i always thought you didnt get a ressurection if you commited sucide unless you was mentally unbalanced because its not showing respect for life, tho wasnt there a soldier who killed himself and then it was hinted he might get a ressurection, so basically have the society decided on that one yet? probably not!

41

well they did not reinstate me!! dont know how i feell!

by Cordelia in

jw
friends

well any of u that read my post about reinstatement will know what im on about basically i put my letter in for my family ive been dfed since march and they so want me back,.

but the lovely elders took a month to get back to me and then said they were gonna leave it as i have the wrong motive as i am doing it for my family not jehovah, (which of course i am but they werent meant toknow that!

) thing is in my reinstatement meeting i knew exactly what i was doing i knew exactly what i should not and should say and said all the wrong things because i didnt want it,.

Cordelia

aa thanks for repling, you are right thats exactly what my dad has done 'feeling like hes answered things tho he totally didnt' (tho i must admit he did have me wondering he knew almost everything i was going to say, guess thats what comes of being an elder for 45ish years, and he did answer a couple of things)

not the un tho he said 'we'll discuss that when you are reinstated!' :-/

i love him so much tho i found myself just saying i would try and pray etc and hang on till i am reinstated,

came home and totally have been a physco with my bf (its like im testing if he can put up with everything!)

i just really dont know what to do, but now its really affecting me, i feel so depressed the whole time im going mad!!