Posts by Cordelia

63

ok i think i finally have made a decision

by Cordelia in

jw
friends

soooooo any of you thats been following my threads thanks (and poor u) i have changed my mind so many times.

i have finally decided that i must stop trying to get reinstated, basically i got dfed 9 months ago had a boyfriend i felt i loved, was married tho still to my hubby who is only just starting to divorce me, (hes waited coz he keeps saying we could try again for the sake of our daughter but he would expect me to be completly in the 'truth') i hid the bf from my family coz they were so heartbroke and i decided to please them i would get reinstated and then fade, but as time went on i realised that wasnt an option as with a family like mine it would be so hard to do, plus there was the bf still hidden poor guy, anyway we spilt up several times, i was a complete physco i kept blaming him for everything,.

anyway last month i put my letter of reinstatement in and sat there scared stiff that they would reinstate me (as that would defo mean the end of the bf) they didnt reinstate me, and i blamed the bf and we spilt for good;.

Cordelia

Ross the answer to your question is no i dont think its the truth but did you never question it esp as your choice of course meant you losing so much you must of been certain, how were you?

big willy thanks i would love u and ur wife to be on my family list

diamondblue, i really do appreciate you saying all that tho i havent a clue what those cases were about, it's something i have been pretty worried about, coz now i have decided which way to go my hubby will defo start divorce preceedings and he is very clever, and even said the other day that if i tried to 'pioson my daughters mind he would get custody' so what i planned to do was see my solictor about the house etc and then say that i wanted something signing so that she would actually be in my custody (i recieve her child benefit etc) tho we do share her he has her 3 nights i have her 4, is it possiable to get something signed coz i am also worried that his time with her is every weekend which is ok for now but when she starts school i would like to see abit more of her, can they change it in the future?

63

ok i think i finally have made a decision

by Cordelia in

jw
friends

soooooo any of you thats been following my threads thanks (and poor u) i have changed my mind so many times.

i have finally decided that i must stop trying to get reinstated, basically i got dfed 9 months ago had a boyfriend i felt i loved, was married tho still to my hubby who is only just starting to divorce me, (hes waited coz he keeps saying we could try again for the sake of our daughter but he would expect me to be completly in the 'truth') i hid the bf from my family coz they were so heartbroke and i decided to please them i would get reinstated and then fade, but as time went on i realised that wasnt an option as with a family like mine it would be so hard to do, plus there was the bf still hidden poor guy, anyway we spilt up several times, i was a complete physco i kept blaming him for everything,.

anyway last month i put my letter of reinstatement in and sat there scared stiff that they would reinstate me (as that would defo mean the end of the bf) they didnt reinstate me, and i blamed the bf and we spilt for good;.

Cordelia

Thanks tik i have told him i feel this way since they didn't reinstate me, and being an elder he has admitted he's seen another side of it (i've said it was the worse thing they could of possiably done and how can they think it would make you WANT to come back to the 'truth')

nic why what was your story?

also i feel really upset now, my dad has come round tryed to answer a few of my questions (he said history books prove true christians didnt celebrate birthdays so we shouldnt and said 607 must be right coz of the 70 years counting backl)

sometimes it confuses me as he is so certain of what he means, i have wrote down the list of the kings and other things and he said he look into it!

but basically it was so hard he cried on me said it was like i had died and i am throwing 9 months of trying to get back away, (which i am) and said that if i was going to stop the meetings and see the bf then he will never contact me again he begged me to 'do the right thing' and i said the right thing in who's eye's jehovahs or the watchtowers, he was shocked at my attitude i have hurt him so much, i feel so bad but now is my chance to stick by it and live my life the way i want, or to crumble i did say that i will just go back and be unhappy coz i cant stand to lose him but he said thats not right i have to do things jehs way and study and spend time at his house (esp over christmass!!) and it killed him that i stayed so hard and now im worried in case i have done the wrong thing i keep thinking what is if is the 'truth?' what if i am throwing everything away?

did any of you ever feel like that when you were losing everything?

11

I'm so lonely...

by bull01lay in

i'm feeling a bit lonely at the moment and so i decided life would be more

fun if i had a pet.

so, i went to the pet shop and told the owner that i

Cordelia

that was so funny, tho i thought you were serious i think i will get one, (shows how desperate ive become!) but it must beat guniea pigs and cats crapping everywhere at least the centipedes crap would be tiny ( i hope)

hey just ignore me! im mental.

22

Oops! The lens in my eye popped out!

by Elsewhere in

jw
friends

about 12 years ago i developed a cataract in my right-hand eye after an injury.

the surgeon went in and removed my natural lens and implanted an artificial one.

the way they remove the natural lens is they use a little device to chop it up and then they just pluck the bits-n-pieces out.. what has happened is when they did the surgery 12 years ago they missed a piece of the chopped up lens because it was hiding behind my iris.

Cordelia

woah thats freaky! i love eye stuff tho, i have had mine lasered a year ago it was scary smelt like burning rubber!

anyway i hope ur ok,

ps. you have lovely eyes!

28

Christmas Card Exchange

by unbeliever in

jw
friends

i know a lot of us are participating in secret santa but i also love to get and send out christmas cards as well.

all those interested in a x-mas card pm me and i will send you one from las vegas.

sin city.

Cordelia

what do all these btt bumps etc mean?

i'm ignorant in the ways of a computer,

but i would love to be on anyones list it will be my first ever christmass and i want to be able to tell my family i don't want the 'truth' in time to celebrate it, so any cards would be appreciate and add me to any lists.

20

Nothing in Reasoning book about Disfellowshipping

by Goldminer in

i had a talk with my father last night about the practice of disfellowshipping.my father is an active jw with privileges in the local hall.he doesn't seem in total agreement with the shunning practice of the wts,and he brought out the example of the prodigal son.we had a good discussion and i'm going to research it some more through the chapter on the misuse of disfellowshipping in the book in search of christian freedom.. anyways,i thought i'd look it up in the reasoning book to see what the wts reasoning on disfellowshipping was.it turns out it's not in the table of contents or in the index.i thought this odd;how would one reason on this with a householder who asks about it?

why is there nothing in the reasoning book on a subject every jw says is scriptural?.

goldminer

Cordelia

what a surprise!

i cant tell you how many times ive had this conversation with my parents, i agree maybe people should be punished for serious wrongs but its the shunning that gets me, the prodigal son, mannasah Judah when he went with tamar(or whoever it was) king david they were never shunned just came back!

jesus spoke to judas and to satan when he tempted him, who would of been the biggest dfed person ever,

it makes me MAD esp coz its breaking my family apart!

63

ok i think i finally have made a decision

by Cordelia in

jw
friends

soooooo any of you thats been following my threads thanks (and poor u) i have changed my mind so many times.

i have finally decided that i must stop trying to get reinstated, basically i got dfed 9 months ago had a boyfriend i felt i loved, was married tho still to my hubby who is only just starting to divorce me, (hes waited coz he keeps saying we could try again for the sake of our daughter but he would expect me to be completly in the 'truth') i hid the bf from my family coz they were so heartbroke and i decided to please them i would get reinstated and then fade, but as time went on i realised that wasnt an option as with a family like mine it would be so hard to do, plus there was the bf still hidden poor guy, anyway we spilt up several times, i was a complete physco i kept blaming him for everything,.

anyway last month i put my letter of reinstatement in and sat there scared stiff that they would reinstate me (as that would defo mean the end of the bf) they didnt reinstate me, and i blamed the bf and we spilt for good;.

Cordelia

Thanks Ross you are very wise

I appreciate everything you and everyone else has said to me, and i know what i must do, it's just the doing it! i keep almost doing it, my dad has said that he will leave me alone if i am not doing things the right way so maybe thats the best thing to do, tell him i'm definately seeing the boyfriend and then he will leave me alone, it's sad esp when he's not well but maybe it's the only thing i can do for my own sanity!

63

ok i think i finally have made a decision

by Cordelia in

jw
friends

soooooo any of you thats been following my threads thanks (and poor u) i have changed my mind so many times.

i have finally decided that i must stop trying to get reinstated, basically i got dfed 9 months ago had a boyfriend i felt i loved, was married tho still to my hubby who is only just starting to divorce me, (hes waited coz he keeps saying we could try again for the sake of our daughter but he would expect me to be completly in the 'truth') i hid the bf from my family coz they were so heartbroke and i decided to please them i would get reinstated and then fade, but as time went on i realised that wasnt an option as with a family like mine it would be so hard to do, plus there was the bf still hidden poor guy, anyway we spilt up several times, i was a complete physco i kept blaming him for everything,.

anyway last month i put my letter of reinstatement in and sat there scared stiff that they would reinstate me (as that would defo mean the end of the bf) they didnt reinstate me, and i blamed the bf and we spilt for good;.

Cordelia

ok things are moving along now!

my dad turned up sunday dinnertime he'd been taking some of the elders school. and i was in bed obviously not been to the meetings,( my bf ran and hid in the shed!)

he asked me what was going on and i told him i was feeling like i didnt want to go to the meetings anymore that i didnt believe the society were right esp on shunning i didnt believe jesus would do it etc, he was hurt but ive talked like this before so he just said write everything down and he'd try and answer it, so i've decided im gonna write everything down and show him the way i'm thinking.

anyway today he rung me and said i wasnt showing godly repentance and if i was choosing to see this boy he could have nothing to do with me, i said i love the boy and am not happy without him and want him AND my family, he said its impossiable and i will lose everyone for him, i said thats why i resent the wittnesses coz i shouldnt have that choice!

basically tho he didnt really listen and still text me later that he was praying i'd make the right decision, I just feel so torn, i KNOW what i want is to never go to another meeting again, even celebrate christmass and be free to live with my boyfriend and give it a proper go, But everytime i try and tell my dad that he just sounds so upset and ill, and i feel so bad, like im telling my dad i dont want him anymore,

I know what u are all saying that i shouldnt be bringing the bf into it but if he wasnt there i prob would get reinstated for my family and then try and leave, but thats prob a bad idea anyway,

But my bf won't wait forever its been months and he hates hiding from my ex everytime he comes to pick up my daughter, and i know i owe it to him to just come out and tell everyone i'm sorry but i'm not going to meetings anymore and i am being with my bf,

will i feel better once i have done that and can just concertrate on me? (even if my dad did fall more ill?)

28

cordelias first ever birthday!

by Cordelia in

jw
friends

hey i keep forgetting but its my birthday tomorrow!.

18th november i will be the big 30 (and i look about 11!).

i really wanted tobe completely open and celebrate it properly i never dreamt i'd be still in the position of living a double life and hiding my true feelings from my family (see my other thread).

Cordelia

wow its here it feels so wierd bet it takes ages to get into it!

I'm prob just gonna get drunk! cant top sironas birthday party maybe next year we could have an apostafest party (when i'm two. i know refuse to tell anyone my age!!)

11

WE ROCKED

by tijkmo in

.

no problems with tuning, drummers, sozzled guitarists, or sound checks..... just good old-fashioned rock n roll.

next stop...the new wembley stadium...(or an american equivilent)

Cordelia

thats fantastic im so glad it went well,

can't wait to hear you live!

why don't you have a tikjmo and his band apostafest (preferably in manchester!)