Posts by luna2

I've avoided this thread all day because this topic is a real sore spot with me. My self esteem was very damaged by my ex over crap like this....and what kills me is that I allowed it to happen.

When I was heavy (after having kids), my weight was the major issue with him. When I got my weight down, I wasn't in good enough physical condition. When I started running and exercising more, the problem was that I didn't have a job (we lived at Ft. Benning, I had two kids under 5, and the local community was not keen on hiring military wives, most of whom were only there temporarily). When we moved to Alaska and I did get a part time job...he found something else that I was lacking in. It finally dawned on me that what was truly lacking was love. I was never going to be good enough, or smart enough, or thin enough for that man because he never loved me...he loved what he thought he could turn me into.

Then, as the marriage was ending I go and join a high-control cult...guess I missed the abuse.

I sometimes blame being a JW for not ever getting into another relationship...and the lack of available men was certainly a problem...but I never looked very hard either. Fact is, I'd had enough (at least on a personal level) of feeling like an object, just a thing that someone could mold and manipulate into whatever form they thought they wanted and then throw to the floor in disgust when it still didn't meet their exacting standards.

If I loved somebody, I wouldn't think they committed fraud if they gained some weight. How is that love? How can you say you truly care for that person if how they look matters that much?

I don't think I will ever understand this type of thinking.

47

Ozzie is in hospital again.

by BLISSISIGNORANCE in

jw
friends

i received an sms last night from ozzie himself saying on saturday he collapsed and had to be taken by ambulance to hospital.. he is being operated on again this morning (wednesday 29/6/05 australia time).

as usual with the particular operation he is having there are serious risks.

i ask his friends to send anything positive his way today.

luna2

Good vibes and positive thoughts on the way for both Ozzie and Mrs. Ozzie. Hope all goes well!

14

New Publication Study Group - Let Us Prepare

by lawrence in

love the latest service meeting study on line, and the t.m.s.

as well, blondie's watchtower study is truly great.

so who is signing up to do the newest book study?

luna2

jgnat, that Farkel link was great! I especially enjoyed the comment by Pureheart:

First of all, the average JW doesn’t care about all of that interpretation because they do not understand it. Second of all, they don’t have to learn it because they do not care. Thirdly, when changes are made, they do not know the difference. Fourthly, if they were asked a question by some intellectual in the door to door work concerning these prophecies they would say, “let me research this and I will get back to you.” After leaving the door they will say to their companion, “he is a goat and I am not wasting my time.”
Appreciate all of that fine research Farkel.
Pureheart

How true is that?! LOL

I'm looking forward to any discussion you guys want to have about any of the WTS publications. All I remember from when we did the Daniel book in bookstudy was the big headache it gave me.

52

If You Were Never A Witness-----You Would've........??????

by minimus in

jw
friends

what?

luna2

I would have continued my college education (I'd just gone back when I started studying with JWs...dammit).

I would have not given up my YMCA membership. (I'd been taking exercise classes and doing great with getting in shape...kind of all came to a screeching halt after I was informed that good dubs did not belong to the Y).

I would have allowed both my sons to be involved in more school/sports activities and made sure I helped them to make a game plan for their future.

I would not have moved to CT to work with my parents. (I thought the Holy Spirit was directing me...what a dumbass!)

I would have dated actual men like a normal, healthy woman instead of bottling everything up inside and pretending to be a nun for 20 years.

54

There were some good things about the organisation...

by Do I Stand Alone? in

jw
friends

i have read a number of experiences in this discussion forum and quite frankly, i would have to agree that many, if not all, were pretty terrible experiences if not all together traumatic.

i know that my personal 9-11 tragedy resulted in finding out that the watchtower society was involved with the united nations.

that pretty much said it all as far as my "career" in the organisation was concerned.

luna2

I think that I was one of those (at the very beginning of my JW experience anyway) that did need the social/structural aspects of the Witnesses. I think the friends I made and the number of single sisters with similar situations to my own that I found in that particular congregation really helped me to settle into my changed circumstances (separated from my husband and being a single parent in a new place).

That being said, once I gained my feet emotionally, I started noticing that things were not what the JW's claimed they were...but I blamed myself. I wasn't "spiritual" enough or I must not be studying, praying, attending meetings or going out in service enough and that's why the shiny facade was showing signs of decay.

While my ex did a pretty good job of eradicating a good portion of my self esteem, the WTS pretty well finished the job.

The one truly good thing to come out of my being a dub is a great friend I made back there in the beginning. We came into the org at nearly the same time, we have remained friends through the years (even though I moved far away), and in the past few years, have come out of JW slavery and back into the world together. I count that as the one blessing of an otherwise wasted 20 years.

*Katiekitten...you are no loser! You had to try harder and longer to achieve what you have than those kids who you are comparing yourself to. They didn't have to break free from a cult upbringing and work extra hard going to night school and then univ. while taking care of adult responsibilities. It would have been easy to have forgotten about going back to school and just carried on as best you could. You are a winner in my book!

21

FUN IN THE EMERGENCY ROOM

by Eyebrow2 in

jw
friends

well...today was a monday from hell...had lots of running around to do.

i finally got our van registered (have been driving it for over a year unregistered and uninspected...amazing you can get away with that down here.

i know people that have been arrested up north for that haah).

luna2

Uh oh, hope the little comedienne doesn't do it again just for laughs. Your five year old is a riot...cut her nose off. LMAO So helpful.

22

JW Church to have 9,000 pound stone, adorned with 23-karat gold leaf!

by Voyager in

jw
friends

is having a 9,000 pound stone (sign) adorned in 23-karat gold leaf really necessary for (true) worship?.

please go here at read the (last) paragraph!.

http://helenair.com/articles/2005/06/17/top/a01061705_05.txt .

luna2

I don't think I mind the gold leaf on the sign part so much...I don't think the amount of gold leaf they will use will amount to a huge sum and will probably look nice. Not sure why they have to brag on it like it's some big deal...that to me is the unattractive part.

What really bugs me (or used to) is the hasty and often shoddy construction. They put on a big show of getting the building up as fast as possible and act like they are such excellent builders, but a good portion of the time they end up with leaky roofs and mold problems that plague them for years. How is that good use of congregation funds?

My other pet peeve was the decorating and redecorating of KHs. In the past 15 years or so, there have been all of these really awful color schemes (that I assume they get from decorators at Bethel) that are very trendy and often look outdated within just a few years. This causes many congregations to fork over more money to redecorate again just to change the hideous colors. There doesn't seem to be much common sense being applied these days.

25

Taking on others personalities

by kls in

do you ever have a friend or close relative that has taken on someones personality ?

this is someone that you knew to act and think a certain way and then they meet someone and they have changed into the other person such as likes and dislikes and their way of reasoning .. .

do you know what i mean ,kinda like the person you knew has become someone that you don't really know.

luna2

I know someone who does this...at least a bit. She'll start talking like her current favorite friend...picking up certain phrases or words, ones she's never used before. If she likes the person enough, she'll even take on their opinions, likes and dislikes, sometimes going from hating a certain person, place or thing to suddenly loving it because this new friend does.

She doesn't completely change or anything, but enough so you notice it and enough so that it pisses me off sometimes. LOL I would never have said she was an insecure person...but maybe she is about some things??? Like wanting to make a good impression on new people by becoming more like them.