When they tell you to lie to your wife and sneak out of the house so she won't know you are studying with them because she thinks they are a dangerous cult and is an 'opposer' and it is causing severe marital problems.
When you choose to spend nearly all your time trying to win favor with the cong instead of enjoying the family you have and seeing and knowing about your own children.
When you know what grade someone in the kh is in but not your own child.
When they are suspicious of you for wanting to see the old books/mags because your spouse has told you exactly what is in them and you want to see for yourself, naturally you don't look because the elder talks you out of it.
When you go to a party to see old friends but you act like such a weirdo they wonder and ask spouse what is wrong with them.
When you dispose of certain clothes because someone told you to.
When you can no longer have actual discussions with family and have to move any discussions to emails because any discussions get to heated and don't end well.
When you are willing to go against peoples parental rights and wishes (as well as the gb) and preach at other peoples children without consent and in secret.
When at a family holiday you have to run away to the bathroom when dinner time prayers are said or someone has a gift to open.
I could go on but will allow space for others!
