Tired of getting stuck in slow moving traffic?
Want to have your own lane on the motorway?
Simple, tie these balloons to your car .
Belt it down the M25 or any other road you want to and when you get stopped by the police just tell them you thought they were real.
Posts by Ellie
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65Post something to make me laugh
by JH in.
post anything to make me laugh, a picture, a riddle, whaterever
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Ellie
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39
Hi guys, I'm new...
by bitemeWT ini grew up in a "divided household" in missouri.
i suspect my mother had post partum depression when jws knocked on her door.
she fell for it hook, line, and sinker.
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Ellie
welcome
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65
Post something to make me laugh
by JH in.
post anything to make me laugh, a picture, a riddle, whaterever
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Ellie
Donald Rumsfeld is giving the President his daily briefing on Iraq, and concludes by saying:
"Yesterday, 3 Brazilian soldiers were killed in a violent gun battle in Baghdad"
"Oh MY GOD !", the President exclaims. "That's terrible" and slumps forward, head in hands.
His staff sit there, nervously watching, stunned at this display of emotion.
Finally the President looks up and asks......."How many is a Brazillion?" -
65
Post something to make me laugh
by JH in.
post anything to make me laugh, a picture, a riddle, whaterever
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Ellie
Take a look at the two birds below
Study them closely and watch their habits
See if you can spot which of the two is the female
It can be done, even by one with no skills whatsoever in bird watching -
65
Post something to make me laugh
by JH in.
post anything to make me laugh, a picture, a riddle, whaterever
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Ellie
An old man walks into HSBC Bank and shouts to the Woman at the counter:
"I want to open a f**king Current account".
The astonished woman replies "I beg your pardon sir. I must have misunderstood you; what did you say?"
Listen up, you f**k. I said I want to open a f**king current account now!!".
I'm very sorry sir, but that kind of language is not tolerated in this bank".
The cashier leaves the counter and goes over to the bank manager to inform him of her situation.
The manager agrees that the teller does not have to listen to that foul language.
They both return to the window and the manager asks the old man,
"Sir, what seems to be the problem here?"
"There is no f**king problem" the man says. "I just won 6 million quid on the f**king lottery and I just want to open a f**king current account, you bastard. I s that okay?"
"I see," says the manager, "and is this fat ugly bitch giving you a hard time? -
32
Are you a Generalist or a Specialist
by joelbear ini am definitely a generalist, i have a bit of interest in 1000 things.
this is one of the reasons i have always been so unhappy, because i have attempted to force myself to be a specialist.
it just doesn't work.
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Ellie
Neither really and this is something thats bugging me at the minute, I think being brought up a dub I had to specialise in all things dub, now I'm no longer one I don't have many interests.
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Letter to my future child...
by kittyeatzjdubs ini promise:.
to celebrate your first birthday and every birthday after that.
to let you have your school friends over on the weekends and after school.
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Ellie
Thats lovely, its difficult bringing up children, especially through the terrible 2s as I'm discovering, but keep thinking like that and I'm sure you'll be fine.
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witness relatives
by Ellie in.
my mum and older brother came over today, i don't think my brother would have come only my mum needed him to drive her, she only came to see my 8 week old daughter for the first time.. they stayed all of 10 minutes, then went to visit my sister who is still a witness, came back a couple of hours later, my brother stayed in the car while my mum said that my daughter is beautiful and then they left, without so much as a goodbye from my brother.. what an evil religion it is that makes people behave like that towards their own family, and i'm one of the lucky ones because i doubt a lot of you would even get that from their families.
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Ellie
My mum and older brother came over today, I don't think my brother would have come only my mum needed him to drive her, she only came to see my 8 week old daughter for the first time.
They stayed all of 10 minutes, then went to visit my sister who is still a witness, came back a couple of hours later, my brother stayed in the car while my mum said that my daughter is beautiful and then they left, without so much as a goodbye from my brother.
What an evil religion it is that makes people behave like that towards their own family, and I'm one of the lucky ones because I doubt a lot of you would even get that from their families.
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30
any STEAK addicts here?
by Soledad ini think i could eat steak every night of the week!
how do you prepare yours?
what is your favorite cut of meat?
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Ellie
Thanks to this thread I am having steak for dinner tonight.
My favourite is sirloin, I fry it with onion and mushrooms and half way through cooking I pour over garlic butter, serve it with big fat chips and fried tomato, lovely!
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12
fortune tellers
by Ellie in.
an old gypsy lady just came to my door and asked if she could tell my fortune, as i'm still freaked out by stuff like that i made the excuse of not being able to afford it, she told me as i have such a great future ahead of me she will tell me for free, and then proceeded to tell me something about my family which given the age of my mum could be believed and then told me something really good (however, shes told me not to tell anyone else as this will break my luck).. if it was you, would you believe her?
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Ellie
An old gypsy lady just came to my door and asked if she could tell my fortune, as I'm still freaked out by stuff like that I made the excuse of not being able to afford it, she told me as I have such a great future ahead of me she will tell me for free, and then proceeded to tell me something about my family which given the age of my mum could be believed and then told me something really good (however, shes told me not to tell anyone else as this will break my luck).
If it was you, would you believe her?
