Honesty, the disfellowshipping is a death blow for any servant of Jehovah. To be cut off from Family, friends and all the loved ones from the congregation is the most hurtfull and terrible thing to endure. That's why it's a punishment, however a truly disffellowshipped one (one who is truly unrepentant would be the one who has judged themself and they would simply drift away etc)
The elders today are excersizing this judgement with no regard of love or fellow feeling, please check again my own story here, after I was disffellowshipped for following Jesus principles, which incidently didnt fit the WatchTower Bible and Tract Societies view, but somehow fitted Jehovah and Jesus's view of love and the arrangement. Full story here: http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/11/90986/1.ashx
PS As you done know already, the full lie is not yet fully exposed, check again this UN document from the *UN* website: http://www.un.org/dpi/ngosection/watchtower.pdf
Love/Peace
J
PS I got married :-D all the pics are on my link above they are fantastic (nope I'm only slightly biassed :) )