most definetly. at first i thought it was the truth but after the 1914 generation changing and issues on blood i knew it wasn't. i had made what i thought were very good friends and it finally dawned on me that i couldn't stay in this religion for them. that wasn't fair to myself or God. When my family member were df'd i found out how conditional their love was. they quit associating with me also. their loved even became more conditional when i started thinking for myself. i've made so many wonderful friends outside the org. the one thing that is different is that the relationships have boundaries. sometimes it feels like the depth of 'love' is lacking, but in retrospect the relationships are healthier. not all that codependency stuff. no one (except my hubby) knows every detail of my life and i like it that way.
homesteader
JoinedPosts by homesteader
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33
Many Stay As JWs Because Of Social & Family Contacts
by minimus inwould you agree that most people stay on as witnesses--not because they are "true believers" but because they have no place else to go or they will risk losing their family and friends?
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I wish i was adopted...
by kittyeatzjdubs inyet again my dear matt wanted to make an attempt to break the ice with my father and his stupid new wife, whom i feel no responsibility to like or accept because she's young enough to be my father's daughter (she's 29 and my father's 60!!!
) and she's trifling and two faced.
i honestly feel that she's just with him for the money.
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homesteader
What a terrible weekend for you and bf!!! I wouldn't even waste my time and energy on folks like that. You and Mike be the loving family that you don't have. Best Wishes with your future. Don't look back too often!!!
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Oh God Why? Tell Me Why??
by LouBelle innow that i'm totally free of the wt & it's indoctrination, standing alone not sure of my purpose in life, not sure where to turn to.
i still believe in god but find myself on the verge/or perhaps already questioning him.
this is quite a sensitve topic & not sure it suitable, but i just need it out there.
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homesteader
you might want to consider staying away from 'bad news' for awhile. jw's and even the news media focus on all the bad things in the world and that's a hard mindset to break. i acknowledge the bad, but chose to focus on all the positive and good in the world. when i take walks in rural appalachia and come across some roadkill i can either chose to stop and look at it, become nauseated by the smell and looks, feel sorry for the poor animal, get angry at the driver that hit it or raise my eyes, hasten my gait and move forward, saying a prayer in my heart for the lost. Soon my focus is on the present and here and now and I can enjoy the sunshine, the fragrance of the wildflowers and the stunning mountains in our area. do what you can do locally in your community to help an underpriveleged person and know that every drop in the bucket counts.
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My Tale (its about time too!!!)
by PaulJ ini have vaig memories of a christmas, but other than that, being a jw was all i know.
she begged me to stay but i knew it would be easy just to give in (again).
i have never felt so much hurt in my life.
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homesteader
thanks for sharing your story. i admire your tenancity and good wisdom. i'm not sticking up for the elders, but they didn't help because they don't know how. wish you well.
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What should I do?
by misguided inwhen my youngest son came home from his weekend with his father, i realized it would soon be july, and my ex has a 10-day access period specified for july, and i thought i'd better write it on the calendar.
while doing this, my son tells me he's going to go somewhere with his dad, but he's not allowed to tell me.
i said to him, "hey, bud, you've got to tell me.
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homesteader
Amen OldSoul!!! If you don't put a big fuss like screaming, name calling etc and carry through the court order in a non-chalant manner i don't think your son will be affected. Remember if you give someone an inch, they take a mile. Tell ex that you would be happy to let him take son to where ever another weekend when and if things are prearranged and you know all of the details where they are going and what they will be doing.
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27
Totally screwed up.
by betrayedbyall inhi, its been a few months since i last visited the forum and to be honest in that time my life has just continued to go downhill, does it ever get any easier guys, i have been so close to ending it all a few times and dont know how much longer i can take the anquish and pain which i feel every day !!!!!!!!.
i now have no job, no friends, and no desire to fight anymore, i sit here day after day just wanting to sleep so that the mental pain will go away and yet i want peace so much.. my old mum who turns 80 next month, and who has been a witness for 50 years, has been so hurt by the events that led to my dissasociation she has now stopped going to the kingdoom hall, but i can see how sad and confused she is and i feel i have caused her great hurt in her later years, she has a bad heart and looks so worn down, i am worried sick she may pass away in this condition and this is tearing me apart also.
you might remember i lost my job after 28 years after being bullied and putting in a claim of harrasment, i then started up my own business and 10 witnesses worked for me, the lies and deceit was beyond words and in the end i had to close most of the business down, after that it was only myself and a non witness friend who were working together.
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homesteader
ps. i want to affirm evilforce's advice !!!! if you are depressed there is no light at the end of the tunnel and antidepressants and counseling can make a world of difference. Celexa has worked well for myself.
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27
Totally screwed up.
by betrayedbyall inhi, its been a few months since i last visited the forum and to be honest in that time my life has just continued to go downhill, does it ever get any easier guys, i have been so close to ending it all a few times and dont know how much longer i can take the anquish and pain which i feel every day !!!!!!!!.
i now have no job, no friends, and no desire to fight anymore, i sit here day after day just wanting to sleep so that the mental pain will go away and yet i want peace so much.. my old mum who turns 80 next month, and who has been a witness for 50 years, has been so hurt by the events that led to my dissasociation she has now stopped going to the kingdoom hall, but i can see how sad and confused she is and i feel i have caused her great hurt in her later years, she has a bad heart and looks so worn down, i am worried sick she may pass away in this condition and this is tearing me apart also.
you might remember i lost my job after 28 years after being bullied and putting in a claim of harrasment, i then started up my own business and 10 witnesses worked for me, the lies and deceit was beyond words and in the end i had to close most of the business down, after that it was only myself and a non witness friend who were working together.
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homesteader
betrayed...thanks for sharing your story. i'm sorry to hear all that you've been through. please don't give up on hope. even if it's just looking at a flower and seeing hope in it. or maybe a child playing, a bird singing, a sunset or sunrise. They all give us hope that God cares for us. my prayers are that you will find trustworthy, honest people. I started attending churches to find one where i felt at home. i had to remove all the programmed judgements but have found some wonderful people at a local church and attend guilt and judgement free. build your network one person at a time. how about volunteering in a nursing home, a senior citizen center, your local ymca, scouts, 4-H or a homeless shelter ? Toastmasters is also a great organization. Know that you don't have to fix anyone. It's so freeing not to have to shove religion down someone else's throat. Just listen to people and try to fill a need. Sounds like you have some wonderful talents, the greatest being a caring person. Take one day at a time. Some books that might be helpful are A Course In Miracles and The Power of Now. God Bless and keep in touch. Grace.
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Naughty children
by Ellie in.
i heared something the other day that made me sick.. apparentely its been brought out in a talk recently that children are becoming more and more imperfect due to us being right at the end of the system.. i was told that the witnesses are saying that this generation of kids being born have a natural bad streak that makes them so willfull and disobedient.. i don't know what they are saying should be done about it but i imagine they are probably encouraging harsher discipline.. the mind boggles!
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homesteader
ps. One of the best parenting books I read was Children Are From Heaven by John Gray.
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Naughty children
by Ellie in.
i heared something the other day that made me sick.. apparentely its been brought out in a talk recently that children are becoming more and more imperfect due to us being right at the end of the system.. i was told that the witnesses are saying that this generation of kids being born have a natural bad streak that makes them so willfull and disobedient.. i don't know what they are saying should be done about it but i imagine they are probably encouraging harsher discipline.. the mind boggles!
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homesteader
What a terrible label and burden to put upon children! After leaving jw's I found many wonderful, productive, polite and moral youth in churches, at school and in the community. What I am most fascinated by are their social skills, something many jw youth lack. sounds like another manipulative coy to deter people from having children. In my opinion, children are becoming more knowledgable and willing to contribute to society in a productive way. Freethinkers they are.
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My relationship has come to an end because of JW brainwashing
by MM090503 ina few of you may remember when i came to this site back in sept. i was seeking advice about my bf who had been studying with jw.
well i hate to say it but they won.
after being together almost 2yrs we broke up.
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homesteader
IT'S NOT YOUR FAULT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! The jw mind control and brainwashing is very strong and I don't believe you could of done anything to change the situation. Your ex-bf is where he needs to be right now. Enjoy your freedom and pat yourself on the back for not getting sucked into the cult.
God Bless. Grace