sorry to hear what you are going through. it must be tough for you. i know when i have any contact with jw's i experience JW Post Traumatic Stress. Maybe you should tell them that the only reason you are there is for your mother and if something happens to you they will never hear from you again. i would definetly set up some boundaries for myself however possible. good thing you are seeing a therapist. hang in there!!
homesteader
JoinedPosts by homesteader
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22
I need some help. How do you deal with your JW family
by Apostanator inmy whole family is in the troof.
i am at a point were i want to present them a book on cults.
i have nothing to lose as they have dis-owned me for years and have only recently came back into my life as a result of my moms illness ( alzeimers ) these people are driving me nuts!!!
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I felt more love tonight than at memorial service...
by jaffacake ini was brought up a catholic, then learned as a baptised adventist in my teens that the pope was the anti-christ, and that only we were the one true remnant church etc.
the adventists did have true christian love, even if they were somewhat misguided.
when i drifted away from religion, i still refused to marry in my wife's catholic church.
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homesteader
i sent my son to a catholic school after being one of jw's. i found the school to be so postive and upbuilding. he didn't like mass and some of the rituals but thrived in a controlled enviroment. i was impressed with the school's vision and the staff's thoughtful prayers. he just graduated from high school and did well. thanks for sharing your story. best wishes with your daughter's education.
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We are NOT appostate
by jimakazi innot to rain on the collective parade but what makes people here think they are appostate?
most of us have come to a rational conclusion that the jw / wtb is directed by a bunch of old men not directed by the holy spirit, is fallable, and cynically changes doctrine.
so to be against that is not to be appostate.
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homesteader
so then...apostate is another of their cult word that doesn't ring true along with "the truth," brothers and sisters" (are they really your brothers and sisters?) the paradise earth, great crowd, etc. etc. etc. we broke the code and got out!
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feelings of hopelessness for wife and I. Any video or book recommendations
by PaNiCAtTaCk inive read coc and isocf and they destroyed my faith in the society and faith in man.
ive officially gone inactive in the last 2 months.
ive had several email conversations with ray franz that have also made me more convinced that i could never be an active jw again.
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homesteader
sorry to hear about the loss that you and your family are going through. this is a big loss, i would say comparable to someone dying. take time to grieve and heal. sounds like your mother is doing her best to support and understand. one of your purposes is to be a loving husband and father to your wife and son, to guide, provide for and protect them. sounds like you are already doing that by protecting them from an organization that is harmful because of it's deciet and lies. another purpose at this time is to get out of heal the wounds of the org. only then will you be able to see further purpose in life and that takes time. i've read The Purpose Driven Life by Rick Warren and found it very helpful. The first section of the book is excellent, but halfway through it does push belonging to a religion, not something i feel comfortable with and don't think you will be ready for in the near future. instead of 40 days it took me one year to read and process. when i read his thoughts about belonging to a church I tried not to judge what he says, but yet affirmed myself that it wasn't for me at this time in my life.
give your wife time and space to heal in her own way. try to share what you are feeling as best you can. sometimes, just an "I'm sorry your feeling angry, lost, forlorn, hopeless" can help. Not that you are responsible for those feelings nor need to fix them, it's just a way to acknowledge her feelings. Maybe you can think of some interests that you set aside for the organization that you can begin doing together. Enjoy the life God has given you and have some fun together as a family. Run, play, swim, laugh, hike, shop, go out to dinner, the library, movies, the zoo. Everywhere you go look at the postive in people, situations, say hello to people, introduce yourself and smile. You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.
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I haven't been posting much lately
by Dustin ini haven't been posting much lately.
i needed to take some time away, and figure out how i really felt about my feelings on life and religion in general.
this website really heped me gain a little closure on my exit from the jehovah's witnesses at a time when i really needed it.
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homesteader
Dustin,
Hat's off to you taking care of yourself and finding out who you are. Sounds like you've done your penance so don't feel guilty about doing something for you. It's ok not have answers. Lose the worrying...it doesn't do any good to think about what happened yesterday or what will happen tomorrow. "Worry is like rust. It erodes happiness." A book I'm reading that is very helpful is The Power of Now. It' helps keep your mind in the present and accept things for how they are. Don't forget to do something FUN in life also to balance all the work and study.
Best Wishes
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Do you know these folks?
by RichieRich inhere's some people i know- and i wonder if you know them.... the kamery family of southern new york.... (they have like 7 beautiful daughters).
the tracy family of new york?.
the eulers and millards of new york?.
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homesteader
I know three of the families you mentioned. Attended ass. and conventions in Olean and Rochester NY for years. I'm not sure they would feel comfortable with their names posted on this website. Why do you ask?
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Up to our elbows in Newbs on JWD
by IP_SEC inwow, what's going on here?
i look at all the new folk here that seem to have joined in the past 2 months and are posters who are under 100 posts and i gotta wonder why.. has something happened in dubland recently to cause a lot of folk to reach out?
if you are new here at jwd, how did you find us?
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homesteader
I came across this site on a websearch a few years ago but didn't feel ready to post. didn't want anything to do with jw's for a few years, just to get my head clear. had some free time and started browsing the web and came across this site that i had bookmarked. have been enjoying the fellowship. Thanks for the Welcome.
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Unplanned pregnancy?!
by JW83 inthis sort of follows on from another thread about having kids.. is there anyone else out there coping with raising a child from an unplanned pregnancy?
i got pregnant about 18 months after i left the borg & i sure as hell blame my lack of experience/knowledge!
it has been a pretty rough ride ...
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homesteader
i had two unplanned children who i am very close to now as adults. all your sacrifices will pay off if you love and guide them unconditionally. i'm also raising my unplanned grandaughter who has juvenile diabetes and she has brought such happiness and joy into our lives. not what we had planned for our retirement years but part of life is learning to accept what comes your way.
Enjoy that baby!!! Celebrate birthdays, blowing out candles, first steps, Christmas, Santa the Easter Bunny, Smurfs, Scooby Doo....whatever pleases you! Makes the whole parenting thing a lot of fun. the time goes by so fast and it gets easier. You might want to look for some parent support groups in your area. Best Wishes
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My Dad
by Crumpet injust a wee update on my current tentative drawing out of my family.
i sent a letter, which not coincidentally was timed to arrive on fathers day weekend just gone.
its the first letter i've sent in 8 years to my family and whilst i was careful to avoid any mention of religion i did talk about how happy i was generally and mentioned how nice it is that i see so much of my inlaws who despite living 800 miles away make regular visit to us at least 3 or 4 times a year.
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homesteader
Crumpet,
Glad to hear you got a response of hope from your dad with a closing of luv. We'll look forward to the gathering at Niagara Falls. The maid of the mist is so neat. Glad you enjoyed yourself.
Grace
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told mom to have a nice life!
by crazyblondeb ini did something tonight that was long overdo!
my mom was reinstated a couple years ago.
there are 5 of us kids that are no longer jw's.
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homesteader
GO GIRL!!!!!!!.
Congratulation on your one year of recovery. Keep up the good work. I think you did what was best. You've gotten out of a lot of shit and now need to stay out of it, mother and jw's included.
Best Wishes. Grace