homesteader

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Posts by homesteader

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  23

  Question for those who have left the WT with small children??

  by PaNiCAtTaCk in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  my 5 year old starts school in aug at the same time my wife and i are facing the crisis of leaving the wt.

  to any who left the wt with small children how did you handle things?

  how do you handle holidays?

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  homesteader

  You are being a great parent being concerned about your little one. Relax!!! First of all if you look at things through JW's eyes is your being on this website any worse than letting your child salute the flag or celebrate a holiday? If you were to exclude everything pagan in your life that would meant throwing out your wedding band, not saying the days of the week or months of the year as they are all named after pagan gods and many other things.

  When I was fading and felt uncomfortable doing things that I thought were wrong I would wonder why it mattered. According to JWs I was going to be destroyed for not attending meetings, not going out in service etc. So what did another 'wrong' matter. One thing my therapist told me really helped. He said "Ask yourself what validity is there in what they are teaching you. What validity is there in what your believe? And what do you feel most comfortable with?"

  I think at 5 years old you can tell the child that you understand and God understands and it's ok if he wants to salute the flag or color a pumpkin etc. It is very hard for a child that age to do something different from what the whole class is doing. I would be more concerned about him being affected socially and psychologically because he has to do something different from all his little friends. You might want to explain to the teacher where you are at and why the child might seem a little confused. If you don't continue to pound it in his head that these things are wrong and pagan he won't worry about it.

  For many years I fretted about what my four, now adult children were doing in school when it came to the holidays etc. Now in retrospect it was no big deal. They ended up doing things like smoking, drinking and other things anyway. I really regret not letting them be a part of school and what their classmates were doing. My youngest son who just graduated went to the prom and looked so nice with his date. He didn't go out and get smashed afterwards. It blew my mind that I once thought something as innocent as going to the prom was considered "evil."

  Best Wishes
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  6

  ran into two jw's over the holiday weekend

  by homesteader in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  after fading i didn't run into any jw's for quite awhile, now they are coming out of the woodwork.

  i wasn't sure how i was going to handle things due to fading.

  i seen one women at a yard sale and didn't know if i should say hello or not.

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  homesteader

  after fading i didn't run into any jw's for quite awhile, now they are coming out of the woodwork. i wasn't sure how i was going to handle things due to fading. i seen one women at a yard sale and didn't know if i should say hello or not. i thought i would just act like i didn't see her until she came into my space (within a few feet) so I said hello, thinking it would be rude not to. She said hello also and we talked about some shallow things. The other women i met was at the community pool and she waved to me when she seen me. I waved back but didn't know whether or not to make conversation. My grandaughter needed my attention so i decided not to intiate any more conversation. I also want to respect how others feel. After about an hour, this women moved into my space by sitting next to us so i made conversation. She is a single parent raising a 4th grader and two five year old twins and had some issues that i was familiar with so i shared my insight. we pretty much stayed away from any jw talk and when we parted she told me she liked talking to me. i told her i felt the same way. elders won't make eye contact or say hello to me. they must know something everyone else doesn't...he-he. i'm glad that i have this forum for support because without it i might feel like a piece of shit just because someone doesn't say hello to me.
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  14

  Do you think Apostate info (books, sites, etc) slow growth or speed exit?

  by free2beme in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  do you think apostate info (books, sites, etc) slow growth or speed exit?

  when i joined the religion, i didn't read apostate information at all.

  once i left, i read a ton.

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  homesteader

  via the internet i found randy at freeminds, was able to order crisis in conscience from amazon, found this web site and was finally able to free myself. hats off to all those sincerely working to help ones like myself.
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  11

  Very proud Mam and Dad

  by alw in

  1. social
  2. family

  our daughter jw83 has finished her degree with first class honours - something we can all share and enjoy - graduation day next week - then party party party!!

  hip hip hooray!!!!

  we are very proud she has completed the first part of her dream and support her the rest of the way.

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  homesteader

  Hats off to you and yours.
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  23

  A kinder Governing Body is it possible?

  by frankiespeakin in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  well do you beleive in miracles??

  ?

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  homesteader

  In your dreams......
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  45

  Let's go HYPER!!! - Warning Will Robinson, Dansk time ahead...

  by LittleToe in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  as you are probably very well aware, one of our posters is fighting a nasty and rare form of lymphoma.. .

  ian has a lot of grit, and would really appreciate our positive thoughts/vibes/prayers, etc., whatever suits your paradigm .

  it's every tuesday evening, with the first tuesday of a month (like this one) making a special effort to join in for a hyper-effort!!!

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  homesteader

  Good Health to Ian and Out n' Free. You are in my thoughts and prayers.
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  54

  Being a JW mother, I really don't understand how these women do it.

  by Dragonlady76 in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  while reading through some threads, i sometimes wonder what my life would have been like if i had stayed a jw and had kids.

  i now have a 23 month old son, that's very active, i can not begin to imagine what torture it would be for both of us to attend meetings or go out in field service.

  i would be expected to keep him still the whole time without toys, snacks, books or any sort of distraction at all, except maybe the my book of bible stories.

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  homesteader

  I appreciate all the experiences that have been shared on this thread...albeit sad. For years after leaving jw's the most guilt i carried was what i put my kids through. it feels good that i'm not alone. now i can't believe the extent of the mind control that we were all under. i had four children and i look back and don't know how i ever did it. my oldest daughter has 3 under 7 years and she can't figure out how i got them all fed, dressed for meetings and got them to sit still. i don't know either. i remember feeling like i was under so much pressure from what others thought and tried so hard to be the perfect sister....studies and research done. i really regret beating the hell out of my second child who is a boy. he had terrible ear infections so would cry a lot. i didn't realize what was wrong, just was doing what the older sisters told me they did with their children. in retrospect, it was just a plain nightmare that i regret. service was another story. i'm also so relieved not to have to attend all those meetings. i love staying home in the evenings and relaxing. my children are so forgiving, but i see scars that will always be there. thanks again for sharing everyone.
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  23

  Wife is pretty much done!

  by mkr32208 in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  i haven't been here much for the last 6 months or so because... (drum roll please) my wife has pretty much called it quits!

  she's not been to a meeting now in over a year!

  (well she went to visit a gung-ho friend for the weekend and went to one sunday) no service in at least twice that long!

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  homesteader

  Yeah for your wife and you too!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  I like the advice to stay by her side during this time.
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  35

  Back from the DC

  by jula71 in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  first they should have changed "godly obedience" to "society obedience".

  i have never heard obey the gb pushed so hard in all my years as i dub.

  it was amazing.

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  homesteader

  One quote really hit me, they were talking "food at the proper time" and the speaker said "our only job is to eat, the GB and the slaves job is to feed us." Translation. eat everything question nothing.

  hmmm "give a man a fish he eats for a day. teach a man to fish and he eats for a lifetime." unknown
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  34

  What have you gained?

  by bagpuss in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  its two years since i last attended a meeting or thought of myself as a jw.

  despite the prophesys of doom and gloom for those who leave the org i have gained lots and lost nothing.. i have much more time to spend with my husband which has led to our relationship improving fantastically.. i have a better relationship with my children who stopped going to meetings when they were teenagers.. i have become much closer to my family (i've just returned from yorkshire from my great nephews 1st birthday party.

  my confidence has grown dramatically as i no longer view myself as worthless.. the guilt of not doing enough has gone.. i now have real friends.. the list goes on, but i really would like to hear what you've gained or hope to gain by leaving the borg.

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  homesteader

  Freedom!!!!!!!! Freedom to think, freedom to act, freedom to be.