Hi Chris,
I'm new to the board so don't remember you from before but wanted to say hi anyway, hope you are doing okay.
CathyM38
JoinedPosts by CathyM38
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Hi Everyone
by JW72 inhi all, i don't know if anyone will remember me.. i haven't posted for ages, just wanna let everyone know that i'm still alive, if anyone cares.. i see nothing's really changes here.. ooooh except venice's picture, very nice..... chris
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Fun With Email
by COMF inyou are not a jehovah witness, are you?
are you a jehovah witness?.
and it's not "jehovah witness.
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CathyM38
This was good Comf, but what exactly was his point in writing to you? Or did he ever get to the point of telling you that much?
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for those who "grew up in the borg"
by zev inat this late, middle stage of my life, i've started wondering, now that i know what i know, about the things in my life that i "lived" with.
having been raised all my life in the "borg" i have known nothing else.
when questions began forming years ago, it started me thinking.
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CathyM38
Hello all again,
I want to thank you all for your postings. I am finding it soooooooo interesting since finding this website only a couple short weeks ago or so, that I have never heard of any other religion, upon coming out of it, that is in need of an "ex's" support group because of how profoundly affected they were by that religion.
I am learning a lot by reading your postings and looking for things I relate to, such as what was said about being a good mother. I have serious doubts about my abilities in this regard as well, although my daughter seems much happier now that we are out and she can feel like she fits in with her peers again. I am filled with self-doubt, always apologizing, always worried about who the next person is going to be in my life to abandon me. It is very uncomfortable to live each day in worry and fear, and I don't know when that will end for me. I'm really happy that I found this site though, its become a type of therapy to me to read all your experiences and appreciate all your friendship! Thanks,
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for those who "grew up in the borg"
by zev inat this late, middle stage of my life, i've started wondering, now that i know what i know, about the things in my life that i "lived" with.
having been raised all my life in the "borg" i have known nothing else.
when questions began forming years ago, it started me thinking.
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CathyM38
Slipnslide, how well I can relate! Im ALWAYS afraid of someone leaving me as well! How many people has this religion affected this way?
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Would like to make new friends all over again
by CathyM38 inhi, i'm cathy.
am new to the site; some of you know me by now.
i have been dfd since 1997 and without many friends since then and felt quite lost as im sure many of you know the feeling.
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CathyM38
Hi all my new friends! Sorry I have not posted in a bit. I was at my boyfriends over the weekend, then all day yesterday I could not get on to this site for some reason, it kept coming up ERROR. But when I did get on, it was so great to read all your responses and feel so welcomed again. I truly have not felt like I belonged anywhere for such a long time and you don't know how much I appreciate all of you and your friendship. Jang, I really am not good at joining things on my own as far as groups or organizations. I have been offered flyers for Parents Without Partners and things like that, but I am hesitant to go alone. So a good deal of weekends I have sat home moping all alone. But I realize that if my life's going to change I have to be the one to take the initiative and thats why I did a search on Jehovah's Witnesses and came up with this wonderful site, in an effort to find friends who have been through similar experiences, and I have NOT been disappointed. To me the Witnesses practice of shunning is just hurtful, not helpful as they intend it to be. How can it be an easy thing if you want to come back, especially if you are an outgoing, friendly person, and have to go to meetings A YEAR or more before they even think about accepting you back, all the while feeling like an outcast because no one will talk to you there. Such an extremely lonely existence. I love hearing from all of you, please feel free to write me and keep up the postings.
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Would like to make new friends all over again
by CathyM38 inhi, i'm cathy.
am new to the site; some of you know me by now.
i have been dfd since 1997 and without many friends since then and felt quite lost as im sure many of you know the feeling.
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CathyM38
Wowee! I feel so popular, and such fast responses! So nice to hear from all of you and feel so welcomed. Venice, I have been in the chatroom and met a few there. I would love to discuss everything and anything with you, and feel free to e-mail me as well. I am currently working as a secretary in the City (Chicago) for the F.O.P. (police union), and have found this really wonderful guy I've been dating about 5 months now. Please keep up the cards and letters :)
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Would like to make new friends all over again
by CathyM38 inhi, i'm cathy.
am new to the site; some of you know me by now.
i have been dfd since 1997 and without many friends since then and felt quite lost as im sure many of you know the feeling.
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CathyM38
Hi, I'm Cathy. Am new to the site; some of you know me by now. I have been dfd since 1997 and without many friends since then and felt quite lost as Im sure many of you know the feeling. Im a divorced single mom of 38 with a 12 year old daughter and would love to get to know more of you and hear your experiences with "The Borg". I just found the website awhile ago and have found it an interesting way to meet XJW'S. Thanks all for listening.
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CathyM38
Hi, Im from the Chicagoland area. Was in for 30 years. Left in 97.
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Marrying "Only in the Lord"
by TMS inthe wt definition of "only in the lord" meaning only dedicated witnesses of jehovah in good standing greatly narrows the field of eligible mates.
this has brought about some unusual unions because of the circumstances, involving people who would ordinarily not meet, let alone marry, if it were not for a shared belief system.. what unusual couplings have you seen in your jw days?
how large was your personal field of possibilities and did it include some unusual options?
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CathyM38
Thinkers Wife, thanks so much for your welcome to the board and, it was with great interest I read your latest posting. In June of 1988 I was a very devout Witness, having been raised with the belief you should respect your husband no matter what and make the marriage work at virtually all costs no matter the consequences. I had wanted from the time I was a kid to have a family and at least 2 or 3 kids, ALWAYS. I met my ex and he paid attention to me, and I kind of ignored the fact he had serious issues with women since he had an abusive stepmother growing up, etc.. When we met I wanted to get married right away, but he told me not for at least 2 years, and as for the kids thing, just forget it, because "he was afraid of what kind of father he would be". But I thought I could change his mind. Anyways, in June of 88 I went to the doc and got a pregnancy test and found out I WAS, and walked home crying from the doctor even though I was really happy because I knew what the reaction would be from him. Well the first time I went for a visit it was $200 and we had no insurance then and he basically went ballistic on me, getting in my face and screaming at me, and at some point putting his hands on my throat. My mother was up visiting that summer from Florida where she lived, and I decided to go back to live with her. Well I discussed it with the elders of my cong and I will never forget the meeting because they said a prayer basically to the fact of "help Cathy know how wrong she is for leaving her husband". By this point my ex was no longer attending meetings, but not disfellowshipped yet. Anyways, I went to Florida and went to a couple meetings with my mom and the presiding overseer there also told me I was wrong, that my place was with my husband, especially at "THIS TIME", not even considering what a total abuser he was being to me. So I ended up coming back to Chicago, my ex moved out of our apartment and with "a friend" in the City, telling me he didnt want to live with me because he didnt want to fight. So, at what was supposed to be the happiest time of my life, I was virtually alone except for a few friends at the Hall. When the baby was born he came to the hospital but left immediately after her birth because he was so upset she was not a boy. After that he came back to live with me, but it was not a happy marriage. His first loves were his job (which he never held one more than a year at a time, I had to go back to work full time one month after she was born) and the TV set, which he never hesitated to tell me he loved more than me. We had several fights where he got in my face (he was about six inches taller and 100 or more pounds heavier than me) and shoved me, and I had the police get to know him well lol. So now I feel I basically wasted my 20s on this loser, even though hes the father of my daughter that I would never trade for anything, but all in the name of religion and whats supposed to be for the best. He has never to this day made ANYTHING of his life, he went to French cooking school but never got a job as one, his life now consists of managing a cheesy pizza place, going home and hibernating in front of his television. I know much of this is in the past, but I do believe listening to him tell me how stupid and worthless I was for 12 years has affected me deeply, especially since I never had self-esteem in the first place. I don't believe being a Jehovah's Witness that it helps give you any kind of self-esteem at all; its not about what a good person you are; its all about what a SINFUL, HOPELESS person you are without God and Christ. I am not condemning either of these entities in the slightest, but I believe there has to be some balance there, you have to feel your own self-worth as well and I NEVER felt any really. I appreciate you all reading my novel lol. If anyone would like to be friends and e-mail me, my e-mail is [email protected]. Thanks for listening and being my friends guys!
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Marrying "Only in the Lord"
by TMS inthe wt definition of "only in the lord" meaning only dedicated witnesses of jehovah in good standing greatly narrows the field of eligible mates.
this has brought about some unusual unions because of the circumstances, involving people who would ordinarily not meet, let alone marry, if it were not for a shared belief system.. what unusual couplings have you seen in your jw days?
how large was your personal field of possibilities and did it include some unusual options?
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CathyM38
I would just like to post my experience with marrying "only in the lord". When I was 19 I was very anxious to get married and enjoy all the good things that went along with it, including sex and companionship. I met my ex husband at a circuit assembly and we started dating, but he was far from the ideal witness. He did not take care of himself physically, swore way too much and drove way too fast. My parents couldnt stand him but I married him anyway. We were probably happy a few months, but I was quite disillusioned since one of the things I really looked forward to was actually sleeping in the same bed with someone and he didnt like that, said it made him feel "smothered" or to that effect. But being married "in the truth" then I was stuck. To make a long story short over the course of 12 years of marriage he was very good at making me feel low and small and was very verbally abusive. When I got pregnant he got very angry with me and took off to live in the City and proceeded to have an affair or two which I didnt find out about for about three years. He eventually got disfellowshipped but we still stayed married for the religion and the sake of our child Finally in 97 I had got involved with someone I work with, we got separated in June 97 and divorced Jan 99 and wo uldnt go back to him if you paid me. I have a boyfriend now I love very much who is NOT a witness but does SO much more with his life and treats me SO much better than he ever did, so so much for marrying only in the lord.