Just love them, don't do anything crazy around them and be a rock for them. They will figure things out eventually.
JWdaughter
JoinedPosts by JWdaughter
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32
I made my daughters cry last night.....
by Ugottabefresh in...when i told them i didn't believe anymore.
they cried like i'd never seen before.
my oldest, 10, pleaded with me that she'd do anything to get me to keep going to meetings ("i'll get a's on my report card!").
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31
Are my children in danger of being indoctrinated if I let them spend the night with their JW family?
by Butterflyleia85 inso... i'm writing because i have mixed feelings.
keeping my kids safe is my goal... until they are old enough to understand and reason on their own.
my mother gave me the tapes (that i gave her back in december) of combating mind control by steven hassan, saying that she didn't have a tape player... reminded me of three years ago when i gave her crisis of conscience by ray franz and she said it's to big book to read and she's not a reader.
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JWdaughter
I agree with Buck. No matter what they say and even if they actually agree not to directly preach at the kids, they will be dropping cult speak into every conversation. It will be bad enough in your presence (and they will,they don't even KNOW how much they do it), but they will feel 'morally' obligted to teach your kids whenever you are not available.
BTW, write your will now naming non-JW guardians for your kids. Unless you have your wishes stated, parents are the first place they go if something happens to you.
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Involved with a JW woman
by jonza inokay so i'm dating a born-in jw woman, she's younger than me and has no kids.
i'm a christian man whos divorced with 2 kids.
we're in love and seriously want to be together.
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JWdaughter
I'm curious about why she is going to be DF'd. It seems like that is a done deal already. If it isn't about you, what's it about?
If you can find what she actully VALUES in the WT(you told us of a lot that you sh compromise on), then perhaps you can find a chrisitan church that you can both agree enough on to attend with your family. I never bought the trinity thing,but I didn't buy the WT belief either.I went to various churches and no one ever (other than catholic) seemed toget to Jesus worshippy. Jesus as "god" got lip service in any case and the trinity was glossed over a lot since a LOT of people don't really get it. Jesus was oneaarth and told us lots of good stuff. That is pretty much Jesus teaching in the churches. Jesus was taught s the son. I did eventually become Muslim, but honestly, as Christian I found that my profound love and respect for Jesus did not have to be attached to "the trinity" though a lot of ex JWs latch on to it like a lifesaver. I still have profound love and respect for the man, Jesus and refuse to show disrespect. Plenty of baptists are evangelizing (formally and informally) and nowadays, there are jillions of people 'witnessing' of their belief online without turning in timeslips to anyone. What's the message that she thinks is worthy of being spread? Does she think it is all right to STOP doing so simply because a few men in a congregation refuse to allow her to go out in FS? Seriously, 10 years?
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Selective memories and disfellowshipping
by Really?! ini've been out around 20 years (da'd), but recently i've really started to struggle with certain aspects of relating to family members who are still in, as well as my own thoughts and feelings about my upbringing and my personal views about god/life the universe.
i have an older sibling and my mum who are still in.
we are a small family and my dear grandmother, who was not in, passed away around a year ago.
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JWdaughter
Welcome. I don't envy you a JW family and a teenage daughter:)
Best!
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17
Pre-Memorial territory coverage
by Blackbird Fly inhas anyone else seen the local congregation doing the usual field service push before the memorial?
i think its strange that we (nor our neighbors) havent seen them in the neighborhood yet.
only 2 weeks away and no territory blast?
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JWdaughter
He asked what makes it momentous. IS that the word of the day or ?
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17
Pre-Memorial territory coverage
by Blackbird Fly inhas anyone else seen the local congregation doing the usual field service push before the memorial?
i think its strange that we (nor our neighbors) havent seen them in the neighborhood yet.
only 2 weeks away and no territory blast?
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JWdaughter
We just moved out or an apartment to a house and have slept here all of two nights. Today, JWs came and invited my husband to the memorial. He seemed kind of confused (not a Muslim observance) as we got an invite from the local Christian church for 'resurrection day services" As they are on diferent days, he was trying to makesense of why it would have two separate anniversaries. So far apart. Ramadan happens every year and there is a one day discrepancy for some, but it has nothing to do with a denominational thing, just how they read the moon phases. Trying to explain the difference with the JW date just didn't make any sense.
In our old apt. building,they wouldn't speak to us because we weren't hispanic. I saw the couple when they came by-they seemed very casua-I wasn't sure they were JWs.
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Anyone who was a jw a while ago know when they started using pre-written responses in the ministry?
by DuvanMuvan inone of the things that bothered me as a jw was how whenever i was on the ministry with someone it was pretty much the same sh*t being said every time.
also, it wasn't very stimulating when you had a question and got the same response every time.. i was just curious as to when this started happening.
did the gb decide one day that the majority of jws don't know how to answer the simple questions in the way they would like so they had to write them for them?
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JWdaughter
I think they always had some topic to discuss, the scriptures they wanted us to use and of course, the "offer" they wanted us to sell (back then, they were selling them). over 40years ago I am pretty sure they gave us an opening line, then a few years later, we got reasoning from the scriptures so that we could counter some of the questions and arguments that often came up.
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I'm a bit confused actually.
by quellycatface ini'm not i like the "happy clappy" bits and pieces in church (c of e).
it's just not me.
the local school choir came in today and did 2 songs and one was a rap song about easter.... that's so not me.. i like serious but not hellfire preaching.. any ideas where to next?
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JWdaughter
I went to a SBC church and enjoyed it. I went to another and wanted to commit hari kari. In the one church I went to, we had semi structured women's bible studies using guides(but going off book a lot) and on Wed. nights, just reading from the bible, discussing what various ones had learned about the language and culture of the applicable part that we were reading, which was just however much we got through each wednesday. I really did learn a lot and really enjoyed it. Sunday school was more structured and I taught it. Didn't enjoy it so much because it was presented in a very structured, almost condescending way (materials which I would not use again and which were optional, but I got dropped into the position and didn't know it wasn't incumbent upon me to stick to the materials provided and wasn't prepared to do my own syllabus at the time).
Wed.nights were for the whole adult part of the congregation. Usually about 60 showed up, about 15-20 really participated. Many were busy teaching the kids AWANAS or caring for the nursery kids or teenagers, but Wed night studies were pretty popular. No one took roll or asked for excuses if we didn't make it. It was an actual bible study. JWs wouldn't know what to do without a bag of literature.
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34
SECRET SIGN FOR FADERS
by Bob_NC infaders need a secret sign to use at the khall.
the thought came to me after reading replies to datadogs post on stopping singing at the meetings.. i can suggest a few secret signs for faders to use and to look for at the khall, but it would be better that current meeting attenders make suggestions here.
if readers on this site can agree to a secret sign to use at the meetings, just imagine the power that would have at your kingdom hall.
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JWdaughter
mmmmm. so, you know that the WT spies will catch on to that real quick-I mean a special handshake or a purple scarf tied on your purse or something. . .Those are soon no secret at all.
I think all the tell-tale signs of fading are pretty obvious to anyone paying attention-yet, they are not definitive enough to get ya into trouble.
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Going to a meeting for the first time in a while- love bombing expected
by DuvanMuvan inlong story short, i have to go to the kh on tuesday with my mum and i havent been in at least a month now.
the reaon im going is because when i got my mum to finally let me make my own decision about whether or not i want to be a jw she made me promise that i'd go to the memorial, assemblies and if she had a talk.
she's already told me that people have been asking for me and only a few people in my cong know that i dont think it's the truth.. when i was trying to leave a couple brothers really piled on the "encouragement" and i dread to think about what it will be like when they see me again.
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JWdaughter
The only reason you are there is to respect your mom. It doesn't require you to be warm nor does it necessitate rudeness. It also doesn't preclude a lengthy trip to the john during the part that comes after the school.
There is something that your mom needs to be made cognizant of-the more thoroughly you reject the WT teachings (since they seem to be pushing it down your throat as much as they can), the more of a pariah she will be. That is the way of the WT. Your rejection will rub off on her and her reputation. Whereas, if you simply faded and they stopped seeing you (and pretty much forget you) then it will be less of a reflection on her. I would hate for her to experience 2nd hand shunning, but the more you are FORCED to resist visits and studies, the more under the microscope she will be. Remind her that the more quietly that you are allowed to slip out of the congregational influence, the kinder that they will ultimately be to her.
Bring something to read in the john.