I liked Quandry's advice. As a parent, I have found that taking a loving stance that is unconditionally loving is the best route. Then your door is always open for the day their eyes are opened. My best to you all. He may never get totally out, but he might well come to his senses remembering that you are not bad and that you always love them
JWdaughter
JoinedPosts by JWdaughter
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40
Here we go again. The next hate letter from our 2nd Son.
by Still Totally ADD inyes it happen again with our youngest son.
this last monday we got a letter from him telling us how unloving we are because we are no longer jw.
cult and not had kids.
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"Christmas is all they have to live for"
by stillin inthis is on of my wife's many-times-repeated expressions about the hilidays, especially when she has an audience that includes non-believers.
i find it offensive even though i still don't celebrate christmas.
here's another one, "and it's all based on lies!".
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JWdaughter
JWs can be real downers. They are proud of it. I met a woman who is Muslim who is a former Christian who is as obnoxious about Xmas as any JW and I just counseled her to calm it down. She was offending everyone in her path and she knows that Christmas does not come from an evil intent! She tells her kids the same crap our JW parents told her. I told her a little about my background. She has actually gotten a lot of charity from non Muslims(Christians and others) and Muslims as she has really turned her life around in the last years. I heard her trying to evil up christmas to her kids, telling them they could get gifts any time of the year, blah blah blah. I pointed out that her kids being self righteous about it is a turn off to the world (reminding her of the JWs of her childhood-she got it, immediately!). Pointed out that anyone doing kindnesses for others were being a blessing to them. That people celebrate with lights all over the world-it brightens up dark nites (homes of brides are lit up all over the middle east and in Egypt, there is a holiday that involves a lot of beatifll lights and lanterns.) Most of Christmas is secular, bt those who do bring the "reason"into the season are earnest and doing good things with that.
I encouraged her to allow her children to participate in the winter activities that were not Jesus centric because most are community centric and that is an important thing for her and her children to have. We do not live in insular religious communities. Being self righteous is not a good look for any kind of faith. Mostly, she was alienating her children from others in a way that was not necessary for them to learn and practice their faith. And they could look to that season as a time to help others because there were a lot of things to help with and a lot of needs were being made known. She had been helped by many and they didn't worry if they helped her during her own holiday time or not. They helped becase they saw a need and their help was not to honor Eid or in spite of it, it was because they were expressing their faith with love any time of the year that it was needed. So she didn't need to shut down her kids inclinations to kindness in case they were misconstrued as loving a holiday.
I don't live for Christmas at all (Muslim) bt I love the lights and cranberry bliss bars. Last year when they were taking down all the holiday things at my local store I was kind of sad because it is just a cosy time of the year that I enjoy. Even in Houston where it hasn't rained in weeks even.
The worse thing about christmas is that a lot of niceness is concentrated in that time. We should spread the nice out all year long. I am sure that Kermit said something nice about that in "A Christmas Carol" but I forget the song right now:)
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Did you AWAKEN from the JWs by yourself?
by cultBgone ini was thinking about how so many posters here on jwn are frustrated and frantic to help their loved ones get away from the brainwashing of jws, and how much advice is given about how to help family members and loved ones.
i considered my own leaving and that it was internal turmoil based on the teachings getting weirder and child abuse issues, to name just a few, and it made me wonder:.
did you self-awaken or were you assisted by the gentle proddings of a friend or family member?
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JWdaughter
I recognized that there were things that didn't make sense, didn't add up and in some cases (charity) just offended me. I read the bible and saw lots of conflicts with what they taught and what it said. I had a complete library of WT stuff from near the beginning and had seen enough of that to think there was some nuttiness going on. I started reading the bible for what it said. I went to libraries and tried to learn more. I went to a christian bookstore and started to see some real "dirt". I was 10 or so when 1975 didn't happen, so I remember quite a lot about all that. Right before I wiped my hands of the entire thing,the article in 80 or 81 came out and then an elder told us of his experience during our Sat night youth meeting. Then our youth meetins on Sat was cancelled (we always had elders or MS chaperoning),the elder was removed.. . well, it was probably the final straw. I knew I was going to go but all that was so ugly I couldn't stay any longer. I told my mom, she made me tell my 'book study' pioneer who couldn't answer my questions. I was sent to elders. I told them all that I thought was messed up (I had a notebook). I said I wasnt going around telling others, Ijust didn't plan to go any further as a JW and I wasn't baptised so I am done. I was DA'd with no further ado. I was 15 and not baptised. I thought that was kind of dramatic for a kid who was not immoral, drinking or using drugs. I mean-itwas the 80's and my sin was disagreeing. So, suddenly no JWs would speak to me. I later found out that they had all been saying I had a baby. They thought that the little girl I brought to the homecoming parade in my senior year was mine (no, I double booked and coudn't get out of my babysitting that night and parents thought she would have fun in the parade).
I woke up on my own, but I eventually got other input that helped me vocalize my issues.
I still find it weird that they felt I was so dangerous to the cong that they DA'd me immediately. I wasn't disrespectful or rude. No tattoos or immodesty. Never talked about any of it to anyone but my mom and study lady. I only used the bible and WT publications.
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Illegal immigrants in the organization?
by silent ini had a thought today that might prove interesting.
i'm wondering if there are any illegal immigrants who are witnesses?
surely it would be a great position to be in as an illegal immigrant because you could play up your plight and prey on the sympathies of others within the congregation.
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JWdaughter
I thought it interesting that they spent so much time discussing the risks involved in being an illegal immigrant but didn't begin to touch on the fact tht they were BREAKING THE LAW other than they could be sent back. If you don't mind prostituting your women and risking their lives with criminal gangs. . . or being dishonest to the WORLDLY authorities, then I guess its all good.
For most things, I certainly would not think that the WT is obligated to play policeman and I wouldn't in this situation either, but I do find it disconcerting that known lawbreakers would be considered good associations. They will expel you from the congregation for doing legal things, but can be totally accepted while living as an outlaw.
What about nice American girls marrying illegal immigrants to give them status? Are there many green card marriages in Texas KH's?
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Be honest post do all posters on this site believe the bible is 100% or has flaws?
by booker-t inwe in the psychology/sociology field have a saying "when people protest too loud usually they are overcompensating".
i did not understand that when i first started studying psychology but now i understand it completely and it is so true.
when i hear someone constantly bashing something or someone such as gay bashing or ethnic bashing or religion bashing sometimes i wonder what are they hiding.
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JWdaughter
I think that the Bible has some wisdom and some truth in it. I would not make any bets based on it, though. I think that there is a lot of fictionalized/embroidered facts, but I am not betting my life on fiction or embroidery.
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CONFESS or COVERUP
by Terry inthe disconnect from the family of humanity......the snap of that fellow feeling......the cold indifferent shrug as each person dries up and hardens into a mere thing in a kingdom hall.....is a withering away of all that is noble, pure and innocent.. and when that icy moment sets in the rest of the world vanishes into an invisible nothing in the heart of that strutting and proud lump of human flesh called jehovah's witness.. it is the first of many deaths they will endure.... where does it begin and where does it end?.
perhaps by defending huge lies?.
if you are complicit in a crime against humanity you have two basic ethical choices:.
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JWdaughter
Wow, they now can do jury duty. Was it forbidden back in the day or was that just one JWs interpretation of one of the vaguer directives?
I always thought that Hitler along with his wife Braun did what cowardly leaders do when they know that no one one will buy into their game anymore-once they lose their power or see it slipping away fast. Hitler did it, Jones did it, Koresh did it. Many of the homicide/suicides come about when folks realize that whatever jig they got going is UP.
Obviously, not a major cause of suicides, but one I think is tied to that kind of mentality. "We know the end of the world is imminent, so why bother". .. with charity, with life? Seriously, that is a mentality that has a DEAD end.
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Circuit Servants death!!!
by mouthy indoes anyone remember john wyatt he was a circuit servant for many years, he left the organization many years ago.
he passed away on the 1st of dec 1914.his wife barbara & son robin will miss him..... .
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JWdaughter
As we all know, typos happen at any age:)
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Our JW Friend told by Elder "Satan is using a Pedophile to Break your Faith"
by flipper ini was given permission by a jw friend of my wife and me to post this experience.
she's anonymous and posts on the board.
she is married to a witness still but is fighting on behalf of children in her congregation to not be a next victim of a pedophile who attends her congregation.
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JWdaughter
Sorry, did not realize this was so old. I will shut up now!
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Our JW Friend told by Elder "Satan is using a Pedophile to Break your Faith"
by flipper ini was given permission by a jw friend of my wife and me to post this experience.
she's anonymous and posts on the board.
she is married to a witness still but is fighting on behalf of children in her congregation to not be a next victim of a pedophile who attends her congregation.
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JWdaughter
Report the pedophile with the record to police
CALL CHILDRENS PROTECTIVE SERVICES FOR HIS DAUGHTER IN CASE THE POLICE SLACK OFF
ADVERTISE ADVERTISE ADVERTISE THE PEDOPHILES RECORDS TO EVERYONE IN THE HALL
Report the entire thing to Bethel so that when this guy moves that a record of all this moves with him. Even if no one does what they are supposed to do, they have NO EXCUSE of ignorance.
I didn't think any kind of sexual abusers could GET privileges.. .what's up with that?
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This could be an interesting court case to watch.
by JeffT inhttp://www.christianpost.com/news/kansas-church-that-left-presbyterian-church-usa-takes-property-fight-to-court-130936/the short version: a presbyterian congregation voted to leave the presbyterian church (usa) and join a more conservative presbyterian organization.
the lawsuit is over who owns the building.
obviously, this is of interest to the xjw community given the recent land grab by the watchtower society.
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JWdaughter
St. Andrews Antiochian Orthodox (I think) in Arlington WA had almost an entire congregation leave a traditional protestant church and convert to Orthodox and they (somehow) took their building with them. Might want to google that one.