Posts by JWdaughter

28

My friends have made a stand on shunning.

by quellycatface in

JWdaughter

I'm glad you have support, and that the employees are being called on their rudeness.

Funny story with my JW mom that I will post again: She was telling me how my DIL's mom is kind of nuts because she wouldn't talk to her daughter for months when she became pregnant out of wedlock. she was mad and told her she disapproved. She took awhile to warm up to her, but she did-she would have had a cow if she aborted. Anyway, to my mom, her behavior was nuts. AND she doesn't like my son (I adore my son,but I fully see why a MIL be upset about his behavior. I often am too, but that's a diff story)

So this woman did what mom thinks is appropriate to do to a JW who strays but for a non JW, it indicates mental illness. The mom cooled down, daughter was sorry (but couldn't change it!)and they are close again and she loves the baby like we all do.

Most JWs would still be shunning unless she dumped the baby's dad and groveled before a JC or married the father and sat at the backof the hall for a year or two.

15

Are we here for each other ? To support each other ? through crisis ?

by smiddy in

jw
friends

a poster who joined this site some five years ago , luo bou to , and offered his two cents worth , so to speak , about his experinces , and spiralling downfall to his marriage and faith and how it had left him , posted a number of posts ?

about his journey ?

and gained a great deal of satisfaction and solidarity from this site.. use the search engine for his previous posts .

JWdaughter

Lou Bou To, good to see you are doing ok. I hope your well being increases and your difficulties decrease. I hope you have been enjoying this beautiful June weekend! I am in Puget Sound and I think this weekend was perfection-no paradise could be better. Enjoy every bit of good that comes your way!!!

30

How do you cope with impaired mobility?

by compound complex in

greetings, my aging friends!

before asking you this question, i tried to do some research on the thought that 'hard work never killed anyone,' but, man, can it cripple you!

what i wanted to figure out is something better than you're getting older and tireder.. many of us have done hard physical labor most of our lives and see no prospect of retirement.

JWdaughter

I am realizing that I can make a difference in some of the issues that I have been accepting. I am going to be working with Dr. and nutritionist to improve my balance and hopefully my strength (they will work together). I cope with it, it has been sneaking up to me and life has been so 'busy' that I neglected myself because I didn't want to take the time. That was STUPID.

I am not even 50 and have issues that elderly people have that are not necessary. My husband encourages me to take better care and seeing my mom age,I know I need to-if only so that I can help HER. Plus my husband is older than I am-he is in MUCH better health, but still, he is retirement age and should be able to count on ME, too. So, two people I love are my "why". I am tired of coping by "dealing with" my weakness and limitations. I want to be strong.

2

Hey guys, need some help.

by bobert in

jw
friends

a few of my buds are hanging out tonight, and i rarely get the oppurtunity to hang with my "worldly" friends.

really, i'm only able to if my parents aren't around.

my parents know i don't believe in the truth, and that i'm moving out in around two weeks.

JWdaughter

Hey congratulations on stepping out of that trap. I hope your move goes well and you can escape the borg and keep what matters to you!

20

Wondering what you guys think about child abuse...

by bobert in

to start off, i'm not saying this happens, or doesn't.

i'm just a bit confused on the subject, and what you guys are always talking about.

what exactly is it with the wt on the issue of child abuse?

JWdaughter

Child abuse in the org was traditionally kept in house. JWs were oftn counseled about bringing reproach upon Jehovah's house/name/people. We were counseled to not sue a brother. We were told that we needed to deal with things btween brothers rather than bringing courts or police in to things.

Officially, they now do it differently when abuse is reported to them, but there is still a stigma against anyone reporting a brother(or sister,I guess) and elders in many areas have done everything they could to wiggle out of that obligation. (clergy priv/not clergy-whichever works better). In the UK recently, there was apparently somuch support for an abuser that the victims were (essentially) forced to confront the abuser so that they were actually DFd-in spite of a conviction in a court oflaw for the abuse.

The org is whacked in this subject still and has a long way to go so that they are more interested in protecting victims than the org. reputation.

OTOH, I have read of a couple of accounts of elders making sure to do th right thing for the law and the victims. They are the kind of elders that could save the org, but those ones were probably deleted immediately. The good ones seem to get a conscience and that doesn't go well withbeing a borg following elder.

5

Mom

by JWdaughter in

jw
friends

so, i'm visiting mom and had a great drive with her today in the mountains.

it was gorgeous and a good day overall.. i asked her a little advice about a issue i am having in my marriage/business about going beyond my comfort zone.

i am trying to figure out what is reasonable for my husband toask of me socially when it is totally out of my comfort zone and i discussed that i didn't want to be close minded and stubborn just because i am squirming a bit at what he is asking (nothing actually wrong, bad or anything like that, just not natural for me).

JWdaughter

Villiagegirl. I am writing this from WA state,half a nation away from my husband, wearing nothing but jeans, a top and my moms cardigan. (I'm freezing).

I cover my hair to pray. And if I am in Saudi or Egypt. I didn't in Pakistan.

You have some kind of ugly ideas about my faith that I can't disabuse you of in a post, but my husband walks next to me and holds my hand. I drive and travel without him. He is the soul of kindness and if he saw you needed anything,he would do a u-turn to go back and give it to you.

Yes, some men would insist on me covering. That is a cultural thing often,and though some feel a woman should make the decision, it is HERS to make religiously. It is like any kind of faith based action. Whenn it is forcced or compelled, it means less than nothing.

There is nothing in the Quran about treating me like a worthless dog. My husband treats me like a queen-with love and respect. I know that not allmen do-of any faith.

I would like to point out that for allthe abuses you read about in other countries, you are reading the stuff that shocks those people too. In THEIR countries, they know all about (christian) priests /ministers abusing, mothers killing their babies, husbands killing pregnant wives/girlfriends, 13 year old girls having babies.They see shows about skanky teenagers hitting their parents, using drugs, committing all kinds of crimes-stabbing a bunch of people at school or shooting them-and they think that is what our culture is about-just like YOU have your mis/pre conceptions about their culture.

Please don't be so provincial. But thanks for your concern. I have spent the last 2 weeks with my family in WA and am enjoying it immensely. My mom has two puppies (ok, little dogs) that are darling and my son's daughter is 18 mos old now and is my heart. My kids are well and healthy and working hard. My ex is even being halfway decent (for one of those redneck types-if you want to generalize). My husband and I will hopefully come back to visit in Aug or Sept together. I don't like being apart so long,but he has been getting in lots of tennis and eating more Pakistani food soI am sure he isn't suffering too much.

5

Mom

by JWdaughter in

jw
friends

so, i'm visiting mom and had a great drive with her today in the mountains.

it was gorgeous and a good day overall.. i asked her a little advice about a issue i am having in my marriage/business about going beyond my comfort zone.

i am trying to figure out what is reasonable for my husband toask of me socially when it is totally out of my comfort zone and i discussed that i didn't want to be close minded and stubborn just because i am squirming a bit at what he is asking (nothing actually wrong, bad or anything like that, just not natural for me).

JWdaughter

Villiagegirl, my mom was inactive/unbaptised BUT still a true believer. She is still a true believer.

My husband has a habit of just shoving a phone at me to say hi to his old friends and business acquaintances or expecting me to write friendly, chatting notes to absolute strangers (business or personal) The phone calls freak me out. Idon't even like talking on the phone to people I love! And in his case,sometimes they speak barely or NO english and just want to say hi or hear my voice. Its weird. My husband thinks its friendly. Its just AWKWARD to me.

Sorry it isn't something more salacious or scandalous:)

5

Mom

by JWdaughter in

jw
friends

so, i'm visiting mom and had a great drive with her today in the mountains.

it was gorgeous and a good day overall.. i asked her a little advice about a issue i am having in my marriage/business about going beyond my comfort zone.

i am trying to figure out what is reasonable for my husband toask of me socially when it is totally out of my comfort zone and i discussed that i didn't want to be close minded and stubborn just because i am squirming a bit at what he is asking (nothing actually wrong, bad or anything like that, just not natural for me).

JWdaughter

So, I'm visiting mom and had a great drive with her today in the mountains. It was gorgeous and a good day overall.

I asked her a little advice about a issue I am having in my marriage/business about going beyond my comfort zone. I am trying to figure out what is reasonable for my husband toask of me socially when it is totally out of my comfort zone and I discussed that I didn't want to be close minded and stubborn just because I am squirming a bit at what he is asking (nothing actually wrong, bad or anything like that, just not natural for me). I told my mom I knew she went out in service when she really doesn't like it (its no secret and not insulting or anything to say this) and she told me she did it because she thinks it is importannt and pleases Jah. I wasn't even tryingn to pick on her religion, but I asked her why? She only ever brought a JW in by 'friendship' witnessing. Our next door neighbor thought my mom was a goodwoman and she liked her and respected her. That iswhy she became a JW ( neighbor's husband, son, and son in law are elders, neighbor and daughter are pioneers) In any case, my mom is the only person I know that joined as a result of the door to door work and that is because her mom was happy to accept the free babysittting from the JW who took my mom to the meetings when she was a baby and my grandma was having another 11 months after my mom was born). I pointed out that we ddin't know any JWs who were met in FS, so it seems a very unproductive thing. She lookedthoughtful,not mad.

Anyway, I was thinking that maybe she will cut off th FS and just go around being nice to her neighbors like she did when our neighbor joined her (my mom was inactive and unbaptised but a true believer back then) She did more for her religion by being a friend than she ever did from torturing herself out inFS. I wish she would stop it. It is a huge stress to her personality.

111

CONGREGATION FLEECING RESULTS?

by The Searcher in

how much did your congregation and its bank account get taken for?

share your horror story!.

JWdaughter

Kaik, I don't think most JWs pay $5 per person per week even in the US! And who is looking over thier shoulder and declaring folks weak? Ithink your parents are more generous than most are in reality.

Pledges are not supposed to be requested with any specific amounts are they?! Someone should kick thier elders.

11

Local JW Booth - Are You STRESSED?

by talesin in

jw
friends

so, yesterday i approached the local jw booth that is a few blocks from my house.

they are set up on the sidewalk, at the edge of a downtown park.

the display was merely rows of a magazine, with the headline *are you stressed?*.

JWdaughter

Very gentle and kind approach. I like it. She can't even say anything negative about your visit unless she flat out lies. Hehehe