Smiles_Smiles

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Posts by Smiles_Smiles

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  27

  After 18months I get called on - Elder confrontation.

  by wozadummy in

  1. watchtower
  2. child-abuse

  firstly i will acknowlege this may be long please bear with me.. not all written here will be exactly in the sequence we discussed things, for we talked for some time at my door.. he was my former book study conductor and i still think he has good qualities that i see lacking in so many elders, but as you will see the wts mindset is like concrete in his mind.. i am writing this not to brag but to emphasise and highlight the disgusting mindset of the wts and it's leaders and members.. here we go - some may know that my wife was molested as a child for some time by her elder father.

  when we married some years ago it did not take long for her to open up to me about what happened to her and needless to say we struggled with this, and eventually told the local elders what happened to her as a child.. we only went this path after she tried to get him to confess ,which he did'nt and so we followed what we thought at the time was the theocratic way and went to the elders ,and please note we sincerely wanted him to repent so he could get everlasting life.

  he denied all and so followed years of heartache for my wife along with her family tormenting her and eventually abandoning her, even by at least one of her sisters whom my wife also witnessed getting done by the father though not as bad ,and my wife even as a kid tried to protect her younger sisters.. ok there is the usual wts crap "we have no witnesses" even though my wife called out to jehovah to stop him as he did this for years.

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  Smiles_Smiles

  THANK YOU!!! Thank You!!!

  You dont realized that you have spoken for so many of us survivors.

  THANK YOU!!

  Hugs
• 
  121

  Are some of us still judgmental and think ourselves morally superior?

  by nvrgnbk in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  is a certain "uptightness" creeping into our community?.

  should we be scolding one another?.

  especially kids?

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  Smiles_Smiles

  This IS an interesting topic. (Some may call that a judgement ... teheheee ... so be it )

  I didn't read ALL the comments regarding the drunk @ DC experience. But I did read the experience itself. I felt sad for the soul that felt compelled to do that because I detected pain underneath it all. That was his way of maybe trying to take back his power ~ that's just my arm chair pysch thoughts. And how may of us can remember wanting to take back our power from the bOrg or the people in the bOrg. There are many posts that I have read that my heart felt sad for the poster for the very same reason. Some the poster was doing something widely 'acceptable' and other times not. But it is all the same to me. (And specifically I watched one member become what seems to be very healthy even though for a while all the first topics I read him post seemed VERY self destructive.)

  ~ that's what I feel about that topic but I didn't write it on there because I didn't want to add salt to what already seemed like an open wound. I feel he will heal as we all seek to heal. He is just at a different stage in the journey and handling it his own way. ~

  Now as far as THIS TOPIC, yes I read allot of post that SEEM to betray a superiority complex. Rather it is about specific (what people call) truths or non-truths or peoples behaviors etc. But I do realize that JWism is ingulped in being superior. You could not truly continue to be a JW if somewhere inside you didn't buy into the "your a bit more special then they (worldly) people are". That is one of the basics in my opinion even though it is not said out right. And what covers over superiority complexes?? Insecurities. Something that we all have in one way or another. But since we are here hopefully it no longer is the driver of our lives.

  Soooo when I read posts that smell of superiority I try to understand where it may be coming from and not join in. But in my opinion seeing that most here are ex or active JW's it is very much to be expected as a bi-product.

  My 2 cents ~ Smiles
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  23

  Elder Tells Congregation:"If They Left Us Why SHOULD We Speak To Them?"

  by minimus in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  that's what was recently said by an elder (ex-bethel elder) to the sheep.

  nice, huh?

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  Smiles_Smiles

  Actually I'd rather they didn't speak to me ... so when I read this my thought was GOOD. tehehehee
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  42

  HELP - my boyfriend's ex called and wants them to reconcile....what to do?

  by Juniper in

  1. social
  2. relationships

  i've been seeing an amazing man for a few months now.

  i recently found out that before we met, my boyfriend had been thinking about getting back together with his ex-girlfriend.

  (who is going through a divorce of her own right now) they have a two year old son together.. he says that if his child weren't involved, he wouldn't even consider going back to her.

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  Smiles_Smiles

  OK let me see if I have this right ... HIS ex wants to get back with HIM and YOU are asking what YOU should do.

  WHY would YOU need to DO anything?

  This is his decision. From what you say he knows that you love him and would like to continue the relationship that yall have. PLEASEEEE do not become one of the women who fight over a man. He has a decision to make ... let him make it.

  Love yourself to know your worth and see if he does the same. And if not then move on. No it is not easy to move on when necessary but anything else will chip away at your esteem and your self worth. No one is worth that.

  Good Luck ~ Smiles
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  61

  Why would a young sister marry an old brother?

  by JH in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i recall a ms brother about 62 years old dating and marrying a sister about 30 years younger.

  i respect their choice and if they are in love, well good for them.

  but i don't think it's to the best interest of the younger one...... do jw's accept bigger age differences in marriage than other religions?.

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  Smiles_Smiles

  PS. And dont think I am judging. I had to heal my own daddy issues just not in the same way. And when I was in the troof I was given opportunity to date much older men many times. Thank goodness it didn't turn out like that.
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  61

  Why would a young sister marry an old brother?

  by JH in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i recall a ms brother about 62 years old dating and marrying a sister about 30 years younger.

  i respect their choice and if they are in love, well good for them.

  but i don't think it's to the best interest of the younger one...... do jw's accept bigger age differences in marriage than other religions?.

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  Smiles_Smiles

  For the same reason that a non-JW would ... Daddy issues and/or Desparation

  Of course, that's over simplifying it a bit but I would bet 9 out of 10 would point you right back to 1 both core reasons.
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  38

  LONG discussion with my parents. (long post of course)

  by LtCmd.Lore in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  here's an update on me... i'm 18. i'm an atheist.

  i'm not making much money.

  i did something i promised myself i wouldn't do: i work for witnesses.

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  Smiles_Smiles

  Well good for you to be able to have that discussion. You were able to see your parents a little clearer. See how snowed they really are. It's just a belief but for JW's believe belief is EVERYTHING!

  I can imagine that at 18 living with your parents and working for a brother you must feel really stuck. Just remember you have a good head on your shoulders and you have a full life in front of you. You can go to college and have a real job not connected to JW's. Or you can just get out on your own and not go to college. The point is the choice is yours and not your parents or some organization that likes to limit your choices. You may end up loosing your parent's but that choice is up to them.

  Just keep your chin up and remember to look forward instead of somehow getting sunk into being consumed with the past and the JW stuff. You got a bright future ahead or you. Try to waste as little time as possible on the whole JW way of life and putting up with them controlling your actions. We already know you have freed your mind!! Go about freeing your body as well.

  Get Busy Living Life!!! It can be a BLAST!!!

  Hugs,

  Smiles
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  30

  Can/Should someone be in love with more than one person?

  by AK - Jeff in

  1. social
  2. relationships

  not a question that affects me personally - i am dutifully bound to a single woman now for 33 years [omg that is 1/3 of a century already].. but do you believe that it is possible or profitalble to fall in love with more than one person at the same time?

  in western culture it is normally considered 'betrayal' to do such a thing - but thoughout history and in cultures outside of the west today - it is considered acceptable, even normal.. typically it is the man who has more love interests than just one - not the woman - but some cultures have supported multiple partners for women also.

  this is not a thread about judging others - just an inquiry about opinion.

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  Smiles_Smiles

  Love more then 1 person ... yes

  Be committed to more then 1 person ... no, not so much

  (that's if committment is define with an exclusivity clause)

  And in this equation love does not necessarily equal committment.

  Smiles
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  24

  What's your take on "stumbling"...

  by Frequent_Fader_Miles in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  the phrase "cause for stumbling" often left me bewildered.

  tell you what to do counsel you and impose their own opinions on you.

  maybe i did something in the past that "stumbled" someone, but aren't we all able to make our own decisions when it comes to conduct and choices ... at least we should be, especially if it isn't regarding something inherently wrong.

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  Smiles_Smiles

  'stumbling' ~ a great concept to keep people inslaved in fear. A powerful way to keep people from being authentic.
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  35

  Where do you go for your spiritual needs?

  by Blindbutnowisee in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i never was baptize as a jw.

  i use to study with them for years, i even went as for as becoming a unbaptize publisher.

  i gave up being a publisher because i did not feel genuine in my efforts to preach.

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  Smiles_Smiles

  I think quite possibly the whole 'spiritual need' phrase is a JW thing. I don't consider myself as 'needing' 'spiritual food' even though I would consider myself quite spiritual (and not at all religious). If I want to read or see something that may be 'considered spiritual' in nature then I just do it. Movies, magazines, books (not religious in nature). I am pretty open to anything as long as it is not religious (been down that road and have no desire to revisit it). I do yoga at times and things of the such but I don't necessarily think of that as spiritual. hmmm ....