Posts by anewme

53

Should I go to the elders about the affair?

by weeone in

i am a sister that kind of "fell away" from the organization.

i felt that i wasn't accepted by my brothers and sisters (long, long story).

whatever i did i wasn't "perfect" enough.

To Quit or Control it....Drinking that is....Who has succeeded and how?

by oompa in

jw
friends

thinking about just giving it up....i always revert back to a nightly habit.....and the occasasinal big escape into the bottle.

but of course you can't live there, and it fixes nothing.. because i think i do have a problem, i went to some aa meetings and found them to be too much like wt.

if alcholism is a true disease, then why is it the only one that needs god (or a higher power to cure (or cope with).

Dear Oompa, you may be like me. The alcohol, in a very small amount, at first numbs a certain depression pain. That feels good. But after a sip or two the old alcoholic reasoning kicks in and says "Lets keep this going!" So a few more sips leads to a few more glasses and soon the good sense is gone altogether!

I asked myself, what am I really looking for in a glass of wine or the stiff drink?

I realized what I really wanted was to pass out. Yes! I admitted that I love passing out! I know this sounds ridiculous but it is true. Passing out is giving up and putting yourself in someone else's hands.
Gods hands, death's hands, I dont know. But it is wanting someone to take the pain away, the effort away, the frustrations away. Take it all away! I dont want it anymore!

When I realized I loved passing out but didnt want to wind up behind the wheel of my car wrapped around a tree, I invested in a little bottle of OTC or over the counter night time head ache tabs with

Acetaminophen 500mg (pain reliever)
Diphenhydramine HCL 25mg (nighttime sleep-aid)

These little pills are there if I need them. I may take one or two maybe once or twice a month when I have the occasional rough day emotionally and need to calm down and go to sleep. They gently lull me into a
peaceful stupor and I bid the family adieu and goodnight and toddle off to bed. I sleep peacefully all night and in the morning I awake refreshed and happy without hangover or regret.

I am prone towards depression, so I take a vitamin with plenty of Bs and ginseng and St Johns Wort.

I stopped drinking one October night in 2004 after spending three years trying to kill myself with alcohol after getting dfd and leaving my 20 year JW marriage. Actually alcohol played a huge role in my demise as a witness. I should never have touched the stuff, knowing what it did to my mother. Everyone who touches it has to learn his limits or suffer the consequences.

Hope this helps you Oompa. I dont like taking medication for anything. But taking two pills occasionally and keeping my life intact is better than drinking a bottle of booze and forgetting I am married.

Anewme

31

parenting a transgendered teen

by chickpea in

deep breath here....... my baby... nearly 15!...

has disclosed in the last several months .

that, altho born to us a girl, he needs to be a boy... we have had.

anewme

I am touched by your deep motherly love Chickpea.

38

Any actually embarrased to admit they were Witnesses?

by Robert7 in

jw
friends

when i was active, i was always (usually) proud to talk about being a jw, our faith, reasons for our stupid beliefs on birthdays, x-mas, etc.

now with everything i'm going through, given how much of an impact this is to my life, i want to talk to others about it, like coworkers, and other friends.

but thinking about how i would explain how it's a mind-controlling cult, i feel stupid for falling for it.

anewme

Nobody understands Robert. It just invites criticism and ridicule and many wonder why the heck you ever joined such a weird organization.

Its like telling your co-workers and friends you were once in an insane asylum. (crickets) Hear the silence? People put two and two together and you look like a real dope. Your reputation and esteem in their eyes may never recover.

I know because my first three job experiences, post JW dfing, I felt the uncontrollable urge to share
my true story with others (who did not deserve to hear it) and I literally saw my respect level go down in their eyes within minutes.

I vowed never again to share that 35 year stint of JW imprisonment again unless it was on YouTube for
commedic purposes.

I do need closure and resolution and restitution for my lost years, but not at the expense of the future.
Since I made my vow not to speak of the JW past I have made great strides in my work experience, rising to assistant manager now. More doors are opening for me now that I have set that boat on fire and pushed it out to sea! It is gone!

Anewme

24

AA..Ding Dong round 2

by digderidoo in

jw
friends

i have posted on here previously about my problems with alcoholism and the fact that i have attended aa meetings so i thought i would start a thread to post where i am at now.. i first attended at the beginning of january and went 7 weeks without a drink, i then had a weekend away and got drunk.

i then went another 7 weeks until my birthday (april 19).

since then i have felt that i could control my drinking within the confines of a local program.. this however hasn't really worked for me, i find that i do not really enjoy going out drinking and trying to pace myself.

anewme

Thank you for bringing up this issue. Leaving the cult is so emotional for many that they use alcohol to drown their heavy thoughts and hearts.

For some of us it is a true poison. It is also a humiliator. When I realized that alcohol was just doing to me what the Watchtower Society was doing, I saw it for what it is---NO FRIEND OF MINE!

When I got angry, I got sober. And I got busy turning my life around with a vengeance!

Hence the name....... A New Me!

70

For Those of You Trying to Quit Drinking - Even Temporarily...

by cognac in

jw
friends

figured i'd do a topic for it.

i'm trying to quit for at least a month - just found i was drinking a bit to much with all the stress.... anyways, its been 10 days since i last had a drink.. how long has it been for you?

how long are you trying to go without drinking?.

anewme

I was so miserable in the org that I started drinking to relieve the stress.
It all happened innocently enough.

They asked my elder husband and I to provide the emblems for Memorial.

We purchased the best and expensive wine for the occasion.

I also baked the Memorial bread.

We did this for six years in a row.

The brothers would pour the fragrant cabernet back into the bottle after the ceremony.

My husband would ask me to retrieve the bottle and the left over bread.

He would invite his friends over to our house afterwards for a wine and cheese party.

Witnesses brought their own bottle and snacks and we enjoyed association and discussion.

Wow I felt so happy and relieved after sipping that Memorial wine!

I returned to the Wine Barn for more deals on wine and beer for my husband.

This became a regular thing, going to the Wine Barn for deals on alcohol.

Soon I was hooked. I couldnt wait until the meeting was over and I could
get home and pour myself a tall one.....or two....and then....three.

At the time I did not know I was actually MEDICATING myself for my depression.

new life.

I only stopped drinking COLD TURKEY the night my new friend proposed to me.

That night I sobbed to God in sincere thanks and gratitude and for help to quit drinking and show Him
how grateful I was for this chance to live again after all I had been through with the witnesses.

Once I realized my new blessings and envisioned a new happy life with someone who loved me for me,
I was able to put away the numbing medication and turn on and tune in to my new life.
I have never relapsed. I think LOVE SAVED ME.

And soon after I stumbled onto JWD which has helped me emotionally to recover from the JW abuse.

Love you guys,

Anewme

43

KISS-OFF letter to me from an old JW friend I recently saw again

by Terry in

jw
friends

i thought i'd start a different thread for this from the funeral experience where i saw this jw again after 30+ years.. after her first e-mail to me i wrote her back and answered direct questions she'd asked me.

i didn't push any agenda.. here is her kiss-off:.

first my apologies for how long my reply has taken.

anewme

Well every body has to make a choice just how far they will bend over backwards for God.

Its like in the workplace. Everyone enjoys a pay check, but just how much grief and frustration a person can take is up to the individual. Some people stay, some people leave a job. Small things can make a big difference in that decision.

I dont know. I would forgive her. She did have enough respect for you to reply. Her determination to stay with the org is tentative at best. Any day a new situation could come along to rock her boat and tip the scales of contentment.

All JWs have differing situations. True faith must be tested. Testing puts faith through the purifying fire.
Consider this. We all enjoy life and know that life is sacred. But what if life was no longer enjoyable.
Naturally some consider taking their lives when suffering is too much.

Think about it, how much we enjoy our marriages, our religions, our jobs, our health, our lives, is very much contingent on a certain quality that we demand of them.
Rock the boat, add some pressure (like old Job) and we quickly see how devoted we really are.

The lives of human beings are constantly undergoing changes and pressures. It is remarkable when they
stay the course in their marriages, their jobs and their religions with the constant barrage of hardships,
uncertainty and setbacks.

Just as Job, we see the wicked going unpunished. We see the rich enjoying life. We see the beautiful ones enjoying the ease of life. But the poor and the ugly are no saints either. They throw insults at us too.
We see humanity crying for help and scraping for existence.... and in one huge storm or tsunami wave are swept out to sea and out of existence.

Each of us, individually, has to weigh our gratitude or resentment for the life we are living.

The level of religious zeal and piety displayed b humans is a very personal matter and we should only be
concerned with our own.

Anewme

65

You can be Disfellowshiped for being too FAT!!!!!

by Witness 007 in

watch 74 p.167 "by disobediently overindulging in food and making a glutton of himself, he fails to show love for jehovah god...is food a big thing in his life?

if in the presents of others, does he selfishly ignore thier needs and take far more then his share?

is he grossly overweight but shows no restraint at all as to food, habitually gorging himself?

anewme

Assisting people who are morbidly obese or very fat to become thinner is a complicated matter involving
psychiatry, medical doctors, exercise specialists and spiritual advisers.

The task is way beyond the scope of training of the average Jehovahs Witness Elder and is best left to the individual to find a solution.

Friendship, fellowship, good companionship, Love and peace and security within a community will go a long way to assist the obese to lay a foundation for a turn around in their health.

Obesity is one of those very visible health problems that carry a huge negative stigma in society.
There are other conditions which similarly stimulate repulsion from society.
Have you ever seen a person entirely covered by warts? I have seen this twice. Once on a man and another time on a woman. Very sad. What's to keep that one wart on your finger or foot from getting out of control and taking over your entire body? I dont know. It is a medical condition. Is it communicable? I dont know. But if someone like that extended his or her hand to shake, would you shake it?

I once worked at a job where a man came in seeking employment who had peculiar facial features.
His eyes were way too far apart and his teeth had huge spaces between them. In every other way he was fine and intelligent and pleasant. Ours was a sales job. I heard my boss advise him to become a limo driver or something.

When you start to think of all the peculiar bodies and faces you have seen, huge butts, large noses,
balding men and women, pimply teens, people missing teeth and fingers etc. you have to ask yourself how important really are all these exterior features? I mean these are all precious human beings who all started out as cute innocent gurgling babies who someone cherished and fed and dressed and worried about.
Unforeseen occurrence has befallen them all. It happens to all of us everyday. And ask yourself, where does it end? How many people on the earth will we check off our list as unsuitable human associates just because of body shape or skin color or amount of hair or height?

When Jesus walked the earth he tried to open our eyes to the important things. He looked at the hearts of individuals, the intention, the conscience, the minds. He said it was not what went into a man (or woman)
that defiled him, but what came out.
So all the things that can happen to an individual, both what others do to him both physically and emotionally and what the individual does to himself is second in importance to what generates from the heart. We are judged by what is coming from our hearts. That is where the true work of spirituality is concerned. Because it is from the abundance of heart that the mouth speaks and actions are generated.

True spiritual leaders cannot instantly heal a person, but they can assist by leading and inspiring.

When they disfellowship individuals it is to cover up their failure.

6

BIG WORLDWIDE ANNOUNCEMENT!! (echo echo echo!!!!!)

by LovesDubs in

jw
friends

isnt that what they always say????

isnt that the hype they are giving this meeting change crap sunday too??

and they say its soooo big that every congregation around the world will hear it simultaneously!!!!

anewme

If old Noah was loaded into the ark over and over again and then reprimanded for jumping to conclusions he too might have gotten a little skeptical and hesitant to be fooled again!

26

FRIDAY AT LAST...............TGIF

by nomoreguilt in

jw
friends

i just thought it might be interesting to see what everyone has planned for the weekend.

tonight is our last night of our mixed doubles bowling league.

we get the money for the how we did this past season, ach, that's ok. .

anewme

TGIF for my dear husband! He has worked soooo hard this week. Poor guy needs a rest and I hope he gets it.

I on the other hand must work through the weekend.

But I am glad to be working and my job is a cushy one, in many ways the easiest job I've ever had.