there are flashes of brilliance WLG, and they seem to come with more frequency and longer lasting clarity. but no one has every answer. i think we do the best we can
coolhandluke
JoinedPosts by coolhandluke
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18
Loving crazy people
by coolhandluke ini don't think there is such a thing as "normal".
i think the best we can do is either functioning or non functioning.
we amble through life confused.
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18
Loving crazy people
by coolhandluke ini don't think there is such a thing as "normal".
i think the best we can do is either functioning or non functioning.
we amble through life confused.
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coolhandluke
she just doesnt have the same toolbox most people possess to use in negotiating the vagaries of life
absolutely profound. that statement has made a dramatic difference to my mind right now. wow
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18
Loving crazy people
by coolhandluke ini don't think there is such a thing as "normal".
i think the best we can do is either functioning or non functioning.
we amble through life confused.
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coolhandluke
Appreciate the comments. I guess I use the word crazy loosely. My sister isn't crazy. She has a giant heart. She has just been completely disappointed by life and its taken its toll on her soul. I just wish I could do something for her. How do I help her? How do I fix it? How do I mitigate the damage of her disappointment from transferring to her kids more than it already has? I really don't know. I just miss the hero that I had when we were kids. She's 9 years older than me. When I was younger I thought she was the smartest, most beautiful woman next to my mom. I think I had some crush/hero worship going on there. I remember her wanting to like me and seeking her approval. Who knows. I just want her well. She has been on and off antidepressants but won't go see a therapist which I think she really needs more than pharmaceuticals. Meh. We'll work it out.
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18
Loving crazy people
by coolhandluke ini don't think there is such a thing as "normal".
i think the best we can do is either functioning or non functioning.
we amble through life confused.
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coolhandluke
I don't think there is such a thing as "normal". I think the best we can do is either functioning or non functioning. We amble through life confused. When I was a little boy I thought my mother had all of the answers. The day I figured out that she was guessing along with me was heart rending. I thought I'd come to an age where I'd 'get it'. That is the illusion. No one 'gets it.' We just do our best and forget the rest. There are those of us though who seem to be behind on the getting it bit. Such great facades and shrouds of who they truly are. We believe them because really even if we didn't we'd have no answers to their questions.
My sister is one of these people. I love her dearly. But there is nothing I can do for her... just love her. It seems at times that she feels that my family owes her some debt because we function more often than not while she missteps, faulters and fails in her own mind. I'm not sure what to do with her/for her. I watch her hurt herself and therby those around her namely her children. She clings to this religion and I think she needs it. Once after her second child was born she attempted suicide. I remember standing over her hospital bed, looking down at her. She opened her eyes and smiled. Such a beautiful woman once my hero, brought down to this. Slurred words, slow blink eyes and two little kids in the waiting room wanting to know what was wrong with mommy. For the life of me I never know what to tell them to this day when they ask me that. "Mommy is sick kids" The statement just has no teeth... and it has no cure either... just love the crazy people as much for them as for us. It's all the answer we've got.
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16
Where we go from here is a choice I leave to you
by coolhandluke inthat is one of my favorite lines from the matrix.
the lines proceeding it are: .
fear.
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coolhandluke
"This life sucks.....don't let anyone say different!" It sucks and I want off this planet.
No fate but what we make Decki. Some days it does suck. There was this brother in spanish hall that said something profound in a prayer at his son's wedding reception. Basically he said, "Thank you Jehovah for this bright moment. The drudgery of this world means that these moments are rare. Help us to treasure it and give us the strength to get form this bright spot through the muck to the next one".
The belief in Jehovah is gone but the sentiment can now be applied inside. I'm going to gird myself so that I can be ready for the shit that is going to inevitably happen after this good moment but I'm not going to let my expectation of said shit to impair my enjoyment of the present. That is about the best we can do.
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45
That Voice...My Story
by Confession inwhy doesnt he just talk to me later?
i dont really talk about this much, but i just dont get it.
he seems confident that eventually ill understand him.
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coolhandluke
great story. thank you for sharing it.
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28
Whoa...what's up with me? (thanks to my friends who have been calling, etc)
by wanderlustguy inok, this is a totally self serving thread, please excuse the me me me attitude this will have, but i have to vent, and this is the place i do it best.. i just got done starting research on eryn/eclispegate and realized i have been away for a bit.
it's insane the scandals that go through this place.
i can assure you i am real, and i hope those who know me would say i am as real in person as here.
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coolhandluke
because it is less painful to pick out the flaws in others and see their solution filtered by our own perceptions. it is a great deal of work to do that for ourselves. so the reason? we are lazy and scared... probably more scared than anything.
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28
Whoa...what's up with me? (thanks to my friends who have been calling, etc)
by wanderlustguy inok, this is a totally self serving thread, please excuse the me me me attitude this will have, but i have to vent, and this is the place i do it best.. i just got done starting research on eryn/eclispegate and realized i have been away for a bit.
it's insane the scandals that go through this place.
i can assure you i am real, and i hope those who know me would say i am as real in person as here.
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coolhandluke
im trying to figure out how to approach this as i feel a compulsion to respond. there is nothing in this verse that we have control of. nothing. the closest we ever come is a partial control of ourselves. i dont know what you are going through. i'm sure you'll tell me in due course. until that point the reserve clarity i have i'll direct toward you. the only way to see ourselves is through the mirrors in other people and by answering hard questions. it seems that you've been asked some. your story is your own and the way you deal with tragedies / difficulties defines who it is that you become. be that man, not the one that other people would construct by grinding the good of you up and extruding something less than what you are capable of being. be who it is that you want to be. you decide that and that man is not subject to the whims of other people no matter how much it may seem that he is. fuck em. you do you.
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40
1 Corinthians 7:36?
by coolhandluke ini'm a bit confused.
i saw in cognac's thread that she used this scripture regarding something having to do with fornication.
i haven't been keeping up.
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coolhandluke
i think the brother apostate explination makes sense. this has given me lots of food for thought. lots. i mean if this is the case there is no fucking way i should have been disfellowshipped. it doesnt really matter now but the first person that i had sex with was the person that i got disfellowshipped over. further, we refer to each other now as ex husband and ex wife because that is how seriously we took it. she still to this day means a great deal to me. fuck.
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40
1 Corinthians 7:36?
by coolhandluke ini'm a bit confused.
i saw in cognac's thread that she used this scripture regarding something having to do with fornication.
i haven't been keeping up.
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coolhandluke
36 But if anyone thinks he is behaving improperly toward his virginity, if that is past the bloom of youth, and this is the way it should take place, let him do what he wants; he does not sin. Let them marry. Even with that I don't see it. Let him do what he wants, he does not sin. Let them marry. All of that would have to go together. If he is past the bloom of youth then he should get married. The part that i still dont get is teh behaving improperly toward his virginity. How do you do that?