coolhandluke

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Posts by coolhandluke

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  14

  One Sentence

  by joannadandy in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i look back on all my posts here sometimes (ok not literally - i'm too verbose to look at all of them) and can't believe where i am today.

  not that i am sitting on top of the world as the most successful person - but the small victories i have achieved over the past few years really did seem impossible to my pessimistic and damaged little mind when i first started posting here.

  when i look back i have a lot of anger in my first posts - and man oh man what a rocky relationship with my parents.

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  coolhandluke

  feeling choked up over here. we aint exactly mushy people. i think you know how i feel about you and what you just wrote. yeah. that'll do
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  22

  If not for the 'truth' I'd be a serial killer

  by coolhandluke in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  let me explain that.

  i think humans go through these phases where we see things and experience things that begin to callouse our minds.

  my dad is an amazing dichotomy of loving and violent.

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  coolhandluke

  i have no recollection of this but my mother retells the story. she says that when i was a kid i had an affinity for killing bugs that there was a glee in my face as i was doing it. she bought a cat for me when i was under the age of three. says that i had no concept of right and wrong when it came to others at that age and that i would torture this cat. now thinking about it, i feel bad. i think though that is a learned behavior. there are times i find it personally humorous to think of torture of animals, of humans but then there is a switch inside and then i feel nauseous. rather embarassing to admit in some ways.

  my mom gave the cat away. she was afraid i'd kill it.
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  22

  If not for the 'truth' I'd be a serial killer

  by coolhandluke in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  let me explain that.

  i think humans go through these phases where we see things and experience things that begin to callouse our minds.

  my dad is an amazing dichotomy of loving and violent.

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  coolhandluke

  I always thought I would've ended up a high-class escort if not for the "truth". Not even sure why.

  i'd patronize that service.
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  22

  If not for the 'truth' I'd be a serial killer

  by coolhandluke in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  let me explain that.

  i think humans go through these phases where we see things and experience things that begin to callouse our minds.

  my dad is an amazing dichotomy of loving and violent.

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  coolhandluke

  im pretty sure if not for 'the truth' my mom would have killed herself. she has tried before. it gives her something to hope for. that is why i dont try to take it from her. i guess i'm just talking about tendancies for bad. i have them in droves. the things that keep me on this side of that equation have to do with being trained as i was. imho.
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  58

  Being a Pro-Life Atheist

  by B_Deserter in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  it's strange and i'm not sure if it's because of my upbringing, but i just can't be pro-choice.

  i just don't see the rational justification (other than a situation where the mother's life is in danger).

  i don't, however, see a problem with stuff like the morning-after pill, when the embryo is just a group of cells with no consciousness.

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  coolhandluke

  perhaps I don't see life as having as much value as you. perhaps if people did not waste their lives as they do, it would have greater substance to me to attempt to protect it. the only purpose of life is to feed on life and to propagate itself. there isn't some higher purpose to it and there is not a soul on earth who can say any differently with any sort of certainty.

  better to be unwanted/abused/unloved/? do you know the type of person that produces? better not to exist. believe me. that is the more 'loving' course.
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  58

  Being a Pro-Life Atheist

  by B_Deserter in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  it's strange and i'm not sure if it's because of my upbringing, but i just can't be pro-choice.

  i just don't see the rational justification (other than a situation where the mother's life is in danger).

  i don't, however, see a problem with stuff like the morning-after pill, when the embryo is just a group of cells with no consciousness.

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  coolhandluke

  OK - so should you be allowed to do anything you want "in your house"? Can you kill your children who happen to be out of the womb?

  don't be pedantic. you saw me say the bit about my freedoms not compromising yours. my children are my responsibility. as long as they are warm, taught, cared for and loved, you have no responsibility toward them. now i know what you're going to say, "oh well luke the fact that you'd kill your children as a form of birth control means that i need to step in with my moral compass because yours is off". well thanks, i appreciate your assertion that my ability to make decisions based on my life experience is some how equated to being of less value than the decisions based on yours. it basically makes me want to curse you out.

  I've been on both sides of this issue. Once a girlfriend told me that in order to protect me and my future, if she were to be pregnant, she'd abort the child and not tell me. I broke down and cried. On the other side, one of my closest friends growing up was the result of a rape. I talked her out of killing herself on a near daily basis. You tell me is it better for a child to know that they were unwanted, to always have a hole in their soul, knowing that they were a mistake or perhaps to be brought into the world at a disadvantage from circumstance or an inability to be cared for than to never exist at all? Perhaps my moral compass is off from your perspective but your one stop answer shop, cookie cutter approach to solving problems in what appears to be a rather narrow scope of thinking is also "off".

  luke of the "morally repugnant" class
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  22

  If not for the 'truth' I'd be a serial killer

  by coolhandluke in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  let me explain that.

  i think humans go through these phases where we see things and experience things that begin to callouse our minds.

  my dad is an amazing dichotomy of loving and violent.

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• 

  coolhandluke

  Let me explain that.

  I think humans go through these phases where we see things and experience things that begin to callouse our minds. My dad is an amazing dichotomy of loving and violent. I know that he has killed people in self defense. I have watched him stab people for making him feel threatened. This same man will cry at sad movies, hug and kiss me when we see each other. Odd. I think the attraction to my mom was for much the same reason. My mother can be extremely heartless, calculating, ruthless to a fault, hard as a coffin nail. At the same time she gets her feelings hurt so easily.

  If my mom had not gone back into her childhood religion when I began to talk I'd most assuredly have been raised selling/cooking drugs, stabbing people, hurting people with little regard for inhibitions. My mom has this innate sense of justice and I think she transferred it to me. The JW programming seems to keep in check this feeling that appears in the back of my mind when it is transgressed. The feeling isn't a feeling so much as a color. Red. The times that it appears feel good. It feels warm and I almost always want to give into it. There are days where I thank my mother profusely for the man that she taught me to be instead of the man that she could have allowed me to be.

  Besides college educated what would you be or not be if not for 'the truth'?
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  58

  Being a Pro-Life Atheist

  by B_Deserter in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  it's strange and i'm not sure if it's because of my upbringing, but i just can't be pro-choice.

  i just don't see the rational justification (other than a situation where the mother's life is in danger).

  i don't, however, see a problem with stuff like the morning-after pill, when the embryo is just a group of cells with no consciousness.

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  coolhandluke

  here is my beef to the whole thing. i control me and my house. i don't care what you do in your house as long as it doesnt affect mine. that is the bottom line. i don't need the government or anyone else to tell me how to run my affairs. as long as the exercise of my freedoms doesn't compromise yours, more power to me and vice versa.
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  18

  Loving crazy people

  by coolhandluke in

  1. social
  2. relationships

  i don't think there is such a thing as "normal".

  i think the best we can do is either functioning or non functioning.

  we amble through life confused.

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  coolhandluke

  there are flashes of brilliance WLG, and they seem to come with more frequency and longer lasting clarity. but no one has every answer. i think we do the best we can
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  18

  Loving crazy people

  by coolhandluke in

  1. social
  2. relationships

  i don't think there is such a thing as "normal".

  i think the best we can do is either functioning or non functioning.

  we amble through life confused.

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  coolhandluke

  she just doesnt have the same toolbox most people possess to use in negotiating the vagaries of life

  absolutely profound. that statement has made a dramatic difference to my mind right now. wow