Posts by GoingGoingGone

5

Fat Theology

by GoingGoingGone in

here's another cute one...!

and god populated the earth with broccoli and cauliflower and spinich, green and yellow vegetables of all kinds so man and woman would live long and healthy lives.. and satan created mcdonald's.

and mcdonald's brought forth the 99-cent double-cheeseburger.

GoingGoingGone

Here's another cute one...!

----------------------------------------------------------

And God populated the earth with broccoli and cauliflower and spinich, green and yellow vegetables of all kinds so Man and Woman would live long and healthy lives.

And Satan created McDonald's. And McDonald's brought forth the 99-cent double-cheeseburger. And Satan said to Man, "You want fries with that?"

And Man said, "Super size them." And Man gained pounds.

And God created the healthful yogurt, that Woman might keep her figure that Man found so fair.

And Satan brought forth chocolate. And Woman gained pounds.

And God said, "Try my crispy fresh salad."

And Satan brought forth ice cream. And Woman gained pounds.

And God said, "I have sent your heart healthy vegetables and olive oil with which to cook them."

And Satan brought forth chicken-fried steak so big it needed it's own platter.

And Man gained pounds and his bad cholesterol went through the roof.

And God brought forth running shoes and Man resolved to lose those extra pounds.

And Satan brought forth cable TV with remote control so Man would not have to toil to change channels between ESPN and ESPN2.

And Man gained pounds.

And God said, "You're running up the score, Devil."

And God brought forth the potato, a vegetable naturally low in fat and brimming with nutrition.

And Satan peeled off the healthful skin and sliced the starchy center into chips and deep-fat fried them. And he created sour cream dip, also.

And Man clutched his remote control and ate the potato chips swaddled in cholesterol.

And Satan saw and said, "It is good."

And Man went into cardiac arrest.

And God sighed and created quadruple bypass surgery.

And Satan created HMOs.

8

The Birth Order of Children

by GoingGoingGone in

i was feeling pretty crappy last night, and in trying to cheer myself up, i discovered the 'humor' section of this forum... so i thought i'd share some of my favorites!

enjoy!.

the birth order of children.

GoingGoingGone

Hi all!

I was feeling pretty crappy last night, and in trying to cheer myself up, I discovered the 'Humor' section of this forum... so I thought I'd share some of my favorites! Enjoy!

____________________________________________

THE BIRTH ORDER OF CHILDREN

Your Clothes:

1 st baby: You begin wearing maternity clothes as soon as your OB/GYN confirms your pregnancy.

2 nd baby: You wear your regular clothes for as long as possible.

3 rd baby: Your maternity clothes ARE your regular clothes.

Preparing for the Birth:

1 st baby: You practice your breathing religiously.

2 nd baby: You don’t bother because you remember that last time, breathing didn’t do a thing.

3re baby: You ask for an epidural in your eighth month.

The Layette:

1 st baby: You pre-wash the newborn’s clothes, color-coordinate them, and fold them neatly in the baby’s little bureau.

2 nd baby: You check to make sure that the clothes are clean and discard only the ones with the darkest stains.

3 rd baby: Boys can wear pink, can’t they?

Worries:

1 st baby: At the first sign of distress – a whimper, a frown – you pick up the baby.

2 nd baby: You pick the baby up when her wails threaten to wake your firstborn.

3 rd baby: You teach your three-year-old how to rewind the mechanical swing.

Pacifier:

1 st baby: If the pacifier falls on the floor, you put it away until you can go home and wash and boil it.

2 nd baby: When the pacifier falls on the floor, you squirt it off with some juice from the baby’s bottle.

3 rd baby: You wipe it off on your shirt and pop it back in.

Diapering:

1 st baby: You change your baby’s diapers every hour, whether they need it or not.

2 nd baby: You change the diaper every two to three hours, if needed.

3 rd baby: You try to change their diaper before others start to complain about the smell or you see it sagging to their knees.

Activities:

1 st baby: You take your infant to Baby Gymnastics, Baby Swing and Baby Story Hour.

2 nd baby: You take your infant to Baby Gymnastics.

3 rd baby: You take your infant to the supermarket and the dry cleaners.

Going Out:

1 st baby: The first time you leave your baby with a sitter, you call home five times.

2 nd baby: Just before you walk out the door, you remember to leave a number where you can be reached.

3 rd baby: You leave instructions for the sitter to call only if she sees blood.

At Home:

1 st baby: You spend a good bit of every day just gazing at the baby.

2 nd baby: You spend a bit of every day watching to be sure your older child isn’t squeezing, poking, or hitting the baby.

3 rd baby: You spend a little bit of every day hiding from the children.

Swollowing Coins:

1 st child: When first child swallows a coin, you rush the child to the hospital and demand x-rays.

2 nd child: When second child swallows a coin, you carefully watch for the coin to pass.

3 rd child: When third child swallows a coin you deduct it from his allowance!!

GRANDCHILDREN: God’s reward for allowing your children to live.

Enjoy every moment. Remember, it makes a memory, good or bad!

14

Positive attitude

by xjwms in

jw
friends

.

failure is an event, not a person.. yesterday ended last night.

GoingGoingGone

Me too, Trevor!

Liked your post too, Blondie!

Thanks!

GGG

20

Trouble explaining my life story to my boyfriend of almost 2 years

by findingmyway in

well, the time has come to explain my former jw life to my boyfriend of almost 2 years.

he's getting a bit tired of being there for me during my meltdowns and not knowing or fully understanding why i am having a meltdown.

i can no longer explain it as pms...he knows me too well now.

GoingGoingGone

Hi Findingmyway,

Welcome!

First off, everyone has baggage. It's called baggage because it's not pleasant to have to drag around.... but it's there, nonetheless.

The fact that you cannot be close to your family is not because you're an uncaring, unloving person, but because of the rules of the cult to which you belonged, and to which they STILL belong. I agree with the posters that feel it is important to educate your boyfriend on cult-mentality. Otherwise, it's impossible for a non-cult-involved person to understand how JW relatives can act the way they do, and why the df'd relative doesn't fight harder for the relationship to continue as before. And if you haven't already, educate yourself on cult mentality, too. It's a real eye-opener, and it may very well help you understand some of your own feelings.

Hope everything goes well for you and him!

GGG

41

Insecure posters

by misguided in

i wonder if it's just me, or if other posters are like this.

do any of you start to type a post, then hit the back button, or quit your post because your afraid of saying something stupid or "wrong," or reread some of your previous posts and wonder, what you were thinking when you posted it?.

i find most people on this board more than willing to accept you for whatever you say in a post, but i still frequently shy away from hitting that 'submit post' button.. rose (pushing the submit button before chickening out again)

GoingGoingGone

I think that since I'm new somebody MUST have brought this up before and nobody really cares to see me say it again.

Thom - I think the same thing!

GGG

7

Did anyone say anything absurd /silly/stupid on the doors?

by badboy in

jw
friends

?

GoingGoingGone

I was working with the Circuit Overseer (I was a pioneer at the time) and we walked up the 5 steps to the front door. I rang the doorbell and then took a step backwords... right off the edge of the porch... straight down into the snow.... then the householder opened the door. I felt really cool....

I'm not usually that uncoordinated, in case anyone was wondering..

GGG

65

I'm an ex-dub as of tonight.

by Pole in

jw
friends

i just want to let you know my updated status.

today i had another elder visit.

last time i had a call about a month ago.

GoingGoingGone

Congratulations! Your post was encouraging to me... I'm in the process of leaving, and right now I would dread being cut off from my family and friends. Your being so at peace with it, makes me think that maybe someday I will feel the same way, when in that situation.

Enjoy!!

GGG

32

Living a Lie.

by jeeprube in

jw
friends

well i've finally done it.

i've pulled my head out of the sand.

please permit me to ramble a bit about myself.

GoingGoingGone

Hi Jeeprube,

I'm in the same sort of situation as you.

My husband is an elder, and I have always been the faithful, perfect witness... Pioneered right out of high school, raised my kids as good JWs... Thank goodness I paid attention to the little voice in my head that told me that there is something just not right here, and looked into it before my kids were old enough to get baptized. Now, I have not attended a meeting for close to a year (except the memorial, and the summer convention, just to keep the peace...) And I have discussed my JW doubts with my kids and am almost positive that they will never be baptized as JWs. My husband is alternately on the warpath, and completely silent about the whole issue. It's sooooo hard some days, I feel like I am going to lose it.

PM me if you need to talk.. sometimes just being able to vent helps so much! Welcome to the forum!!

Hugs,

GGG

16

Worse than death?

by 5thGeneration in

jw
friends

one society thing that drives me crazy is trying to scare us by quoting the scripture about one who knows the truth and leaves is worse off than others who have never known the truth.. question: if every non-jw is going to die at armageddon, how can someone who leaves be worse off?

are they going to die more than the others?.

nice lips brooke

GoingGoingGone

Is this the scripture you mean?

Matt. 26:24 - The Son of man goes as it is written of him, but woe to that man by whom the Son of man is betrayed! It would have been better for that man if he had not been born."

This is one of the few scriptures that seriously makes me wonder if hell exists.

GGG

41

Insecure posters

by misguided in

i wonder if it's just me, or if other posters are like this.

do any of you start to type a post, then hit the back button, or quit your post because your afraid of saying something stupid or "wrong," or reread some of your previous posts and wonder, what you were thinking when you posted it?.

i find most people on this board more than willing to accept you for whatever you say in a post, but i still frequently shy away from hitting that 'submit post' button.. rose (pushing the submit button before chickening out again)

GoingGoingGone

Yup - I write and erase all the time...

GGG