Posts by Ghiagirl

10

I thought of what may happen if it was me

by Truth and Justice in

a brother goes to the thursday night meeting, and an elder says that he and a couple of elders would like to visit with him.

" the elder says "well lets wait till after the meeting.

" so he waits.

Ghiagirl

I also pity anyone still in. Even those who aren't awake yet. Some days I want to cry thinking of family and friends that are such amazing people, wasting their lives away, thinking that they know the truth. How lucky I am to have woken up, to think I will never have my family and friends back like I used to have them. That my husband and I will never go have a family dinner with our relatives, because they believe god wants them to shun their own blood. I was once a true believer and my heart aches for those blindly following lies.

9

Have my beautiful blessing from jehovah

by Ghiagirl in

as my husband always says sarcastically about our newborn son, how people contradict themselves.

well he is a blessing but he is also the reason you are being shunned and were run out of the organization because you had premarital sex.

my beautiful son is finally here, and who texts and calls us the day he is born??

Ghiagirl

As my husband always says sarcastically about our newborn son, how people contradict themselves. Well he is a blessing but he is also the reason you are being shunned and were run out of the organization because you had premarital sex. My beautiful son is finally here, and who texts and calls us the day he is born?? The same people who not only never saw me my whole pregnancy but never even sent one flimsy text message to ask how I was doing. Oh but you want to show up at my house and see my baby!!! All of my husbands family, well most of them, decide to pop up NOW. How sickening. My family shortly before I had the baby decided to drop the whole religion thing And respect where I stand. So that makes things a little easier on me. My husband being disfellowshipped though obviously changes how people associate with us. We want wants best for our son so if family wants to all of a sudden come around fine. But no popping in and out of our life and no trying to talk about or take our son to the meetings! The nerve these people have though to come around all of a sudden like nothing happened. Makes me so mad. I would like to know how other disfellowshipped people's family and friends treat them? I know of a couple people whose family still sees them on a regular basis. And others who are completely cut off. It's so sad that most people would keep in contact if it weren't for the organizations way to control it!!! I almost feel bad there people don't know any better and feel like it's the only choice they have.

9

Update rant almost a year out!

by Ghiagirl in

for those who know my story my hubby and i are almost a year out of the organization!

my due date is right around the corner and still no word from my hubby's family.

they are hardcore.

Ghiagirl

For those who know my story my hubby and I are almost a year out of the organization! My due date is right around the corner and still no word from my hubby's family. They are hardcore. Rumor has it they are putting forth extra effort to show no love or support because they KNOW he is going back. Haha yeah right! Hubby is about ready to join the guys sitting in front of the convention holding their signs we are always joking! Hubby is df'd and I am a removed publisher. So my family has made a small effort to get together, we have gone to lunch a couple times kept the convo light, however they snuck me a copy of the return to Jehovah!!!! But I appreciate them not pushing anything, at least not YET. They always find a way. I feel so horrible for my husband, although he is the one baptized and I'm not, he never truly understood the religion and only got baptized to please his family, he had no idea what he was getting himself into, he rejected the religion since he was 12, but the pressure of his Family got to him, he is one of those unlucky ones whose entire family is in the org. Luckily for me it's onlyy parents, sister and brother. I have all my aunts uncles and grandparents, expect my grandmas but they don't ignore me. Anyways he truly has no one and has heard not one word from his own mother!!!!!! Let alone anything from his 5 siblings!!! We have a baby due in the next couple weeks and nothing. Get this though. His nephew and his wife are expecting a baby as well just a few weeks behind me, and the family is all over that! Throwing baby showers, nonstop gifts, pictures and comments all over social media. Let me add in this couple who is married now, was actually having sex before marriage, they felt guilty so tied the knot, got married in the Kingdom Hall! And a couple years later felt guilty so the husband told his KOBE father, and his response.....does anyone know??? Can you believe it! Supposedly a meeting was set up with some of the cooler elders, and they got a slap on the wrist. Nothing. Funny huh! But my husband and I get attacked an stalked by elders trying to corner us into admitting we were having sex! Then disfellowshipping my husband when he never met or talked to them. Anyways... How heartbreaking. He has bad dreams every night and really takes a toll on him emotionally. I however have accepted my decision and that my relationship with my family will never be the same, I knew this before I married him. Him being df'd and knowing he is never going back would change my life dramatically. He is always trying to blame a certain brother or certain people in which we were kicked out because man were they after us! But i just tell him who cares! We got out that's all that matters. If things didn't happen this way we would probably be sitting in the Kingdom Hall right now! If anything thank them for pushing us to open our eyes! The more time passes the more free I feel! To be myself and not be looking over my shoulder constantly.

10

Blame the imperfect people not the organization?

by Ghiagirl in

i met with a good family friend of mine who is a jw but will still hang out with me...apparently after this last time trying to encourage me.

lol.

but i shared a fraction of how i feel about the organization not to disrespect his beliefs, he just went off on the usual well it's an organization run by imperfect men and you can let the people affect you and need to remember it's the right religion and we need to put all that aside.

Ghiagirl

I met with a good family friend of mine who is a jw but will still hang out with me...apparently after this last time trying to encourage me. Lol. But I shared a fraction of how I feel about the organization not to disrespect his beliefs, he just went off on the usual well it's an organization run by imperfect men and you can let the people affect you and need to remember it's the right religion and we need to put all that aside. No matter what I said that was his reasoning. I just let him say what he wanted to say and felt and just let it go. There is no reasoning with these people. On top of that had a conversation with my mom for the first time in my new state of mind and my mom said this isn't you! You have always been sorry and wanted to do the right things and come back! She was certain that deep down I know what's right and that basically my husband is the one brainwashing me. Then she started asking me if I remembered the bible account of the prodigal son!!!! I seriously had to hold myself back from laughing. In a way I felt bad. Then annoyed, like really your trying to bring up bible stories right now. It made me see wow I am truly awake! Although it always seemed kind of weird to me growing up it's what I was used to and what I thought was normal. I love my family and friends that are still jws but really you all can't see how looney this is! I mean I believed it for so long you can help but feel stupid. I was just remembering the other day how badly I wanted to go to my senior prom and I got asked by my huge crush! Cause of course I couldn't date him. I asked my parents if I could go and of course the answer was no I was so devastated. Things like that make me mad when all I wanted was a normal life! And that was almost 5 years ago I was in high school! All because I need to be humble and follow an imperfect organization that makes up rules and ruins lives. My husband is fine one week and then has an emotional breakdown the next due to his being dfd ! If it is supposed to be about my relationship with god then that's all that matters! Not what an organization thinks.

4

7 months out!!

by Ghiagirl in

i'm always wanting to post but there is so much to say i don't know where to start!

left 7 months ago, hubby dfd and i was removed as a publisher.

i am pregnant due date coming fast.

Ghiagirl

I'm always wanting to post but there is so much to say I don't know where to start! Left 7 months ago, hubby dfd and I was removed as a publisher. I am pregnant due date coming fast.(you can guess that's the reason we are out) we weren't married at the time we left. Hubby's family hardcore witnesses....he is dead to them. My family not so hardcore, then again I'm not dfd but I knew they would come around, got the call from my mom, after 7 months of going through my pregnancy alone she wants to have somewhat of a relationship with me. Her reason for not showing up till now? Because my family expected me to come beg for forgiveness and tell them how sorry I was for having sex with my bf of 2 years and getting pregnant. But I never did cause I'm not sorry. Just like I wasn't sorry when I was 16 and I got in trouble for watching a rated r movie!!! So ridiculous. I remember my dad asking my sister and I, do you girls even feel bad for watching a rated r movie? My sister, the people pleaser she is, hung her head saying she felt bad. I looked at her then my dad and laughed and said NO! My mother gasped and they all looked at me like how dare you! That pretty much sums of my whole life being born in looking at these people like what's wrong with you!!!? I always thought the religion was freaky but never did I think there was a life outside of being a witness worth living! Not that I never believed it. Now with my family trying to poke their head back in my life the fights with my hubby are starting again! I swear that was their ultimate goal when we were dating, they never accepted him, because he had been married and has a son, they never even gave him a chance, even though I didn't even live with them anymore and supported myself. For some reason witnesses, especially my family, think they are somehow entitled and above everyone else. Then it turns into the family disapproves so elders get involved telling you who you can date or if your ready basically saying end it or you will pay! Leading to our exit. All I can say is thank you for chasing us out of the religion cause we may have never opened our eyes! Now is a new chapter in my departure with the jws, telling my mom I'm not going to meetings and I'm not going back! She was pretty shocked, she's used to me saying I want to do "what's right" I'll go talk to the elders. NO. Not this time. She asked why I just said it's plain creepy. Our convo got cut off but will be seeing her soon to make peace with my hubby. Which I already know that meeting will turn ugly. He is probably the most bitter person in the world towards the witnesses now! And my mother being my mother is always right and entitled. Wish me luck but my mother will need to respect my husband if she ever wants to be apart of my life or my child's. Honestly it would just be easier if my family just left me alone, not that I don't love them but I just know what a stressful relationship it will be. She already basically said if you don't want the truth right now I still want to have a relationship with my daughter which is good I guess. Bit I'll have to tell her I will never want it again. The reason hubby and I started arguing is because he is worried somehow my family will suck me back in. But I'm the one always on these forums and posting! Yes sometimes I sit and think about what I believe because it's still so fresh and it's been engrained in me my whole life. But I could never go back and believe after my eyes being opened. Anyways I guess I should be thankful to get some family in my life for my baby. But it really only stresses me out. Wish me luck in this new chapter trying to mix my new life and beliefs with my jw family. All these people are so sick it makes me so mad!!!! And most will never open their eyes, it's a shame.

13

Sick to my stomach

by Ghiagirl in

who do these people think they are!

?i have only been on this site for a couple months, and dealing with all the reactions of jws to my being removed as a publisher(for the second time) and my husband being df'd.

lucky for me i have 2 sets of grandparents that still support my life whatever i do as well as some aunts uncles and cousins.

Ghiagirl

"The truth"....sorry my husbands always correcting me haha!

13

Sick to my stomach

by Ghiagirl in

who do these people think they are!

?i have only been on this site for a couple months, and dealing with all the reactions of jws to my being removed as a publisher(for the second time) and my husband being df'd.

lucky for me i have 2 sets of grandparents that still support my life whatever i do as well as some aunts uncles and cousins.

Ghiagirl

Who do these people think they are!?I have only been on this site for a couple months, and dealing with all the reactions of jws to my being removed as a publisher(for the second time) and my husband being df'd. Lucky for me I have 2 sets of grandparents that still support my life whatever I do as well as some aunts uncles and cousins. Only my immediate family is in the truth thank goodness. However my husbands huge whole entire family are hardcore and he is DEAD to them all. I have slowly gotten blocked and removed on some of my old social media accounts by family(husbands family) and friends. It is so pathetic!!!!!!! It makes me laugh but really bugs me! Oh they are not doing "what's right"! Better block them. Grow the eff up is what I want to say! On top of it, my husband provides one of his family members with a job and GOOD money, yet this mans wife makes a point to block herself from a social media account promoting the business that puts food on her families table and clothes on her and her children's back! You can use my husband to help pay your bills but have no respect for him or I. I know for a fact if I saw her in public she would point her nose the other way. I'm just waiting for the day for the rest of his family to come asking for money! These people are sick! I am so disgusted. On top of that, my husbands family continues to sneak behind his back to see his son and now they have him lying to his father because they don't have the respect or decency to call or text him to ask if they can see his son!!!!!!! Does your bible teach you to be liars and not respect headship???? I remind my husband everyday 99.9% of these people will never wake up. So sadly there is no point trying to reason with anyone. My mothers mom and fathers mom are jws but have non jw husbands, so they go and practice but would never cut me off and are balanced by their husbands thank goodness! But I found out today one of my grandmas is awake! I'm pretty sure she has been my whole life I just never knew....I told her exactly how I felt and she just agreed and said I know. And her number one thing was hypocrisy like most people. It made me feel better knowing ok, I am not alone in this. It is real that there are people practicing that know! This religion takes a toll on my husband more than I, it's emotionally killing him. There are good days and bad days for both of us but we are trying to be strong. Sorry for the rant but I am so angry today, I am so happy my unborn child will have a different view on life and he will be free. He won't need to deal with these FAKE, self righteous, ignorant, pathetic people that I truly feel sorry for! I am lucky to have some family and a couple friends in my life that are still there. Thanks for reading!

28

Attending memorial tomorrow?

by Ghiagirl in

this is my first year i will not attend memorial.

to be honest if it wasn't for my husband i would probably be going still.

he says what's the point, don't be one of those people who doesn't give a sh** but just shows there face once a year.

Ghiagirl

This is my first year I will not attend memorial.

To be honest if it wasn't for my husband I would probably be going still. He says what's the point, don't be one of those people who doesn't give a sh** but just shows there face once a year.

I am still struggling with discovering these new feelings about the organization. For the first time looking from the outside, although I've always questioned, my eyes are actually opened! But it's an ongoing battle with what I have known my whole life to this new view on everything. Naturally being raised a witness I feel I HAVE to go. Do I care? Not really but I'm so used to having to do everything for appearances! Already got the guilt trips from the family. My husband says no though, I probably would just go to make my family happy but at the end of the day I should be true to myself. My husband says of you want to go back to meetings, then go, but don't half ass it. Be in or be out. At this point I've tried to go back, and was beig a hypocrite. So looks like I will be missing my first memorial. It is hard for me, but I realize it's what they teach anyways right? Don't be a hypocrite. For all those who go for family I understand! Not trying to put others down at all I'm hit struggling because if it weren't for my hubby I may be going too! Anyways hope all have a wonderful Friday regardless of their plans. :)

107

I have a serious problem

by My Name is of No Consequence in

i have a serious problem that i cannot solve on my own.

i was born-in but am only in by a thread at this point.

i quit the tms a few weeks ago and wrote a post on it.

Ghiagirl

Your wife should respect you and if she isn't going to you need to make it a point to talk to that brother. My husband however he is disfellowshipped, he has a son with his ex wife who is a jw, his family is always contacting the mother or finding time to see his son only when he is with his mother. Which really pisses off my husband because that is his son regardless of disfellowshipping people need to respect you if they want a relationship with your child. You have a right to feel upset as my husband does, it is your son and this brother and your wife needs to respect that.

15

New to all of this

by Ghiagirl in

i was raised in the truth my whole life, my immediate family are jws and my moms mom is a witness as well as my fathers mom.

other than that the rest of my family are non jws.

i was raised very balanced, my parents never forced the truth on me or my siblings like most of my friends parents did getting baptized at ridiculous ages!

Ghiagirl

I was raised in the truth my whole life, my immediate family are jws and my moms mom is a witness as well as my fathers mom. Other than that the rest of my family are non jws. I was raised very balanced, my parents never forced the truth on me or my siblings like most of my friends parents did getting baptized at ridiculous ages! My parents like to drink and have a good time and weren't witness freaks as I have always called them! Haha We tried to make most meetings as well as once in a while do family worship and go out in service. We have always been pretty average active witnesses. Pretty much my whole life going to meetings I always had something in the back of my mind, knowing, well when I turn 18 I don't know if this is what I want. I always just wanted to live a normal life and be a normal kid/ teenager. I longed to go to parties in high school, go to prom and all the dances, go hang out with kids from school and not be so different from everyone. Apparently this thinking was wrong and I needed to only have witness friends and only hang with boys if chaperoned. The older I got the "worse I got". My family had always moved a lot so we never had a set group of witness friends we grew up with so it was always just me and my siblings. Until high school we settled in Orange County. All of a sudden I had all these friends and it made going to meetings and not having friends at school easier. That didn't last long! I realized shortly how phony baloney these people were, everything was about image! My sister and I were the outcasts because we weren't baptized yet. It was such a joke and although young and blinded somewhat, I always knew I knew something or felt something different than everyone else. The number one thing I always questioned was, if we all feel so strongly about the truth and believed it so wholeheartedly, isn't that how everyone else feels about their religion or their god? So we KNOW this is the truth, but don't they feel the exact same way, how do we know we are right? It just didn't make sense to me. Anyways my sister was the perfect witness daughter who obeyed and did whatever she was told, I however was considered "bad" because I wanted to be a normal teenager! The older I got the more I knew I didn't want this, not so much because I didn't believe it but because I wanted to be "normal". I got in trouble multiple times for messing around with guys here and there. It truly makes me sick thinking back and how they ask exactly what you did, even my parents asked step by step and I told them!!! How stupid of me. But that's what happens you feel sick with guilt and that's how I felt my whole life. And what for what? Hooking up with guys? I wasn't baptized so I never got publicly in trouble but it happened 3 different times either cause I got caught or felt guilty. When I was 18 going on 19 I couldn't take it anymore. I decided to sit my parents down and tell them I didn't want to go to meetings anymore, I had started smoking some weed here and there and hanging with friends from college more and more but having to lie about it. I was just sick of living a life being guilty about nothing! I really wasn't a bad person just a teenager. It was the hardest thing I ever did! After I told them I wanted to take it all back but I knew there was no going back and I had to move out. They asked if they can do anything to change my mind but I said no. Moved out with a friend my family continued to give me money each week until I finished college which was only a couple months away. We talked here and there but pretty much just them saying to come back. I planned on going and living the life I wanted and not feeling guilty about! However, immediately after leaving I met my now husband who was an inactive brother. I had been hanging out with a couple from my family's hall who weren't very strong in the truth so they still talked to me after I moved out and I met my hubby, he was not going to meetings and we hit it off right away and dated for about a year on and off, then the pressure started coming from out families. It was such a scandal we were living together!!! Our family's were both in the same hall too!:/ oops. Haha. Trying to make this a long story short sorry this is so long, we basically went back to meetings for our family, my hubby had stopped going before because of being discouraged by the brothers and sisters, but we did it and got right with the elders and went back for about a year, however we were still living together the whole time. My heart wasn't in it when we started going back. But I missed my family and so did my hubby. We then decided we were going to move back to our family's hall.....big mistake. The family drama was horrid, the brothers started harrassing us about dating because I was not baptized. It got to the point where both of our entire families, not to mention he had multiple siblings married with kids in the hall, but they brought everyone in the back room for a secret meeting about my then boyfriend and I! Even though we both lived on our own! They told our families if we continued dating and not listening to the elders and they associated with us there would be a marking talk about it!!!!! At that point my hubby and I were done, we already were sick of having to tip toe around everyone being called out if we missed meetings, saying we needed to have chaperones which we never did. It was just plain stupid. In the midst of all of this, my relationship with my family was already bad because thy didn't approve of my hubby. So after our family got pulled in the back we stopped going to meetings....then guess what happened. I got pregnant! Icing on the cake right? We never stepped foot back in the hall but you can be sure that the elders were allllllll over it. The called and texted a million times, sent certified letters, then finally at 7:00 at night showed up at our doorstep with another letter, that next week my hubby was df'd. They were on a mission and it makes me sick! We both refused to meet with anyone. Although I am not baptized we are both now being shunned by both our families. It's very upsetting and sad. At first I was sad, then angry! What god wants family to cut off their children or siblings! My hubby is done for good and feel my eyes have been opened but it's so hard to think what I've known my whole life isn't right. But I see the people and elders and families and how they act and it's truly sickening. Random people off the street are better than have the witnesses I know. It's all about image and who's invited to this function and who is a pioneer Who goes to bethel! Meanwhile these people are living double lives! It's about what you do not who you are! Now that I am having a baby I could never imagine shunning my child regardless of their beliefs or lifestyle! I'm so angry and sad and confused to soon be raising a child and to find out what I thought was right may not be. It's terrifying, however funny, my relationship with my husband is better than ever, and I wake up happy every morning. Guilt free! Although I miss my family I am living my life, and not doing anything wrong! This post is so long I apologize but had to get it all out! Thanks for reading if you have time.