Posts by Christina77

28

ARE WE FRIENDS OR ARE WE MORE?

by Serena in

i am so confused about this guy that i have been secretly talking to on the phone and secretly going to his apartment(only at nighttime).

he is a jw, ofcourse--if he wasn't i'm sure i would not have this confusion.

he flirts with me,touches me an chance he gets(on the shoulder or the knee) and i know he likes me more than friendship(or maybe he doesn't, who knows?).

Christina77

As butalbee said, take it slow. Even though you want to move onto a more involved relationship, you have to leave it up to him to make the first move... even though he has made gestures such as touching your leg, you really have let him.

With my boyfriend I didn't know he was a witness until we had been dating and very intimate for almost a year and a half. And when we were first dating I couldn't wait to "jump" him, and I don't regret it one bit that I made the first move. I had waited 6 months to meet him and we talked every day, if I didn't see him online I missed him. As to the PDA's, he has no problem with that... he is a very affectionate man. When I found out that he was a witness, that was the first thing that popped into my head... "oh my god, what if someone saw us and what would they do to him!" Last summer we were at the mall and someone that I knew from school passed us... I haven't spoken to her in a long time and she was not someone that I wanted to be around anymore so I didn't think twice about it... Well it ends up her family are witnesses and she is a real rebel (she has 3 kids outside of wedlock)so I don't think she follows the rules too much! Well anyway, she passed us, I looked at her and did't say anything, my boyfriend turned around at the same time and the look on her face was quite puzzling. He didn't even recognize her, and I didn't know that they knew eachother. Now I know why she gave us that look. But of course she was in no position to say anything. And we weren't doing anything, we were just standing in the parking lot talking, but he was holding my daughters hand at the time. That would have been great if we were and if she had let someone know... He told me (and I wasn't happy with that) if someone finds out oh well, then that is when we will deal with it. So he is waiting for someone to find out about us, by accident. I have even went with him to get a haircut, and you know how barbers and hairstylists talk when they know you... his father goes to the same place... hmmmmm.

But seriously, stay platonic unless he wants more, and he must tell you and have it out in the open. Please, you really don't want to be in the dark like I am... If you want more info on my situation I started a post about Interfaith Relationship, butalbee has one too and if you open up your browser to all posts there are a few others that I encourage you to read.

Good Luck

28

ARE WE FRIENDS OR ARE WE MORE?

by Serena in

i am so confused about this guy that i have been secretly talking to on the phone and secretly going to his apartment(only at nighttime).

he is a jw, ofcourse--if he wasn't i'm sure i would not have this confusion.

he flirts with me,touches me an chance he gets(on the shoulder or the knee) and i know he likes me more than friendship(or maybe he doesn't, who knows?).

Christina77

I think they enjoy confusing us, and welcome to the club of those involved with one in some way or another. Just believe me, the confusion will never end. Confront him NOW! don't let it build up inside you, you will only get hurt more.

Good luck

66

Interfaith Relationship

by Christina77 in

i am currently involved in a relationship for the last year and a half with a man that i found out about 2 months ago is a jehovahs witness (and i am catholic).

the only reason why i found this out, was that i was pushing the issue as to why his parents do not know that i exist.

this really irritated me since he has a very close relationship with his parents.

Christina77

Well today, he left to go to his sisters for 4 days... this may be what we need. I have never been away from him for more than 2 days, so this is really going to give me some time to think. I am just so stressed out because of this, it is really starting to effect our sex life. I told him last night that I can't even remember when the last time I had an orgasm and him trying more to please me makes it worse. I just can't seem to relax by knowing what his beliefs are and what will happen to him when others find out about our relationship. Yet I still want to have sex with him. And now my parents are starting to really get on my case about him. It just seems that when things get bad, everything seems to get infected by it. He is really starting to notice that more is bothering me, so hopefully he will do the right thing.

66

Interfaith Relationship

by Christina77 in

i am currently involved in a relationship for the last year and a half with a man that i found out about 2 months ago is a jehovahs witness (and i am catholic).

the only reason why i found this out, was that i was pushing the issue as to why his parents do not know that i exist.

this really irritated me since he has a very close relationship with his parents.

Christina77

And what is even weirder... he asked me to come over last night to help him write a "talk" for Thursday night??? I agreed, but he never told me what the topic was or why I needed to help him with. We ended up not getting to it, since the Yankee game ended really late and we were both too tired. Can someone explain to me what these "talks"are? and why he would be giving one? At this point I am just going with the flow, I have to accept what he is and what he has to do. I respect it, but I don't think reality has really set into what it really involves. Thanks again.

66

Interfaith Relationship

by Christina77 in

i am currently involved in a relationship for the last year and a half with a man that i found out about 2 months ago is a jehovahs witness (and i am catholic).

the only reason why i found this out, was that i was pushing the issue as to why his parents do not know that i exist.

this really irritated me since he has a very close relationship with his parents.

Christina77

Well today we went out to lunch... and he said that he went to talk to his father yesterday, by that and the look in his eyes, I knew exactly what he went there to talk about, even though he didn't say it directly. His father had other things to discuss so it got put off. But at least it is finally a step in the right direction. I am glad that he got the nerve up to actually decide to face them, and hopefully he will still have the nerve to bring it up again soon. Then we will see what happens next...

66

Interfaith Relationship

by Christina77 in

i am currently involved in a relationship for the last year and a half with a man that i found out about 2 months ago is a jehovahs witness (and i am catholic).

the only reason why i found this out, was that i was pushing the issue as to why his parents do not know that i exist.

this really irritated me since he has a very close relationship with his parents.

Christina77

Thanks Yerusalyim, you are exactly who I have been looking for and I will e-mail you soon. So, I guess I should start wearing my cucifix then and see what his reaction is??? Now on my serious side, we have discussed the fact that I have to go to precana, and that I have to get married in my church. He hasn't said anything really against that, just that some of his family won't like it... well tough! I need to fulfill my sacrements by getting married in my church... and that is the way it goes, you get married in the womans place of worship. And for the holiday thing, I will just go to my parents house, if he wants to come, he is more than welcome. I am not going to let him deny me what I have grown up with and what my daughter has grown to see as "the norm". Yet he said that those are the little things that we have to deal with... If these are the little things, I would hate to see the BIG things...

66

Interfaith Relationship

by Christina77 in

i am currently involved in a relationship for the last year and a half with a man that i found out about 2 months ago is a jehovahs witness (and i am catholic).

the only reason why i found this out, was that i was pushing the issue as to why his parents do not know that i exist.

this really irritated me since he has a very close relationship with his parents.

Christina77

Thank you Angela, and I do agree with you on the respect part... I respect all for their beliefs, no matter what they are. That is going to be the hardest part for me to deal with, in the fact that we totally have been brought up on different beliefs. He is worried about raising my daughter in a family with 2 different belief systems. Yet he adores her very much, and is better with her then her own father. It will also come into an even bigger problem when we decide to have our own children, which I desperately want. Facing his family in that matter will be horrible.

12

HELP-tempted beyond my willpower

by Pierced Angel in

someone tell me quick how wrong and stupid i am to even think about cheating on my husband.. i've met someone that has swept me off my feet and with my newfound freedom from leaving the borg, i feel like i'm going through a mid-life crisis or something.

i'm very tempted to have an affair.

i mean, extremely tempted.

Christina77

Anne-

Don't feel bad about my feelings... this happened 6 years ago, and I am over it, able to discuss it, and a stronger woman because of it.

Your husband is happy that you are away from the witnesses, well you have something to work with. Use that happieness to survive, and improve your relationship. Find where the sparks are still glowing and bring them into a blazing fire. The worst thing for you kids is seeing a horrible relationship between their parents. And as I said, you found that love once, you can find it again. Find things to do as a family, something that is fun that can take your mind off of what you are trying to deal with.

I am glad that I could help.
Christina

66

Interfaith Relationship

by Christina77 in

i am currently involved in a relationship for the last year and a half with a man that i found out about 2 months ago is a jehovahs witness (and i am catholic).

the only reason why i found this out, was that i was pushing the issue as to why his parents do not know that i exist.

this really irritated me since he has a very close relationship with his parents.

Christina77

Spider, that is the thing... I had the real him for a long time, and only the real him. While things died down lately I somewhat had the real him again until I brought it up. Yet all I can think about is his witness side, when is it going to take over all of his actions? Which I think he intended to do when he finally told me. His witness side is very pre-programed, and I don't like that. I want him to tell me from what he knows, not from what the scripture says. I cringe thinking about watching those videos. I want him to tell it like I was a six year old. Hopefully he will see it in his heart to do that for me. He really is getting more involved which doesn't make sense and I really do think I am going to loose him because of it.

12

HELP-tempted beyond my willpower

by Pierced Angel in

someone tell me quick how wrong and stupid i am to even think about cheating on my husband.. i've met someone that has swept me off my feet and with my newfound freedom from leaving the borg, i feel like i'm going through a mid-life crisis or something.

i'm very tempted to have an affair.

i mean, extremely tempted.

Christina77

Well I have never cheated on anyone, nor will I ever. I have thought about it but only momentarily, but couldn't live with myself if I ever did. I would break off my relationship with whoever I am with prior to my infidelity, if it came down to me cheating on them. While I was pregnant with my daughter, my ex asked me if he could have permission to sleep with someone esle, because he was afraid of hurting me. I wanted to be intimate with him and that really hurt that he wouldn't touch me. Him just wanting to be selfish was horrible, and made me a nutcase. Nine months after I had my daughter, I found out that he was sleeping with his ex-girlfriend behind my back during my pregnancy and continued to do so. He risked giving me a STD, for his ex-girlfriend bragged that she had slept with 16 guys during her first month away at college. I only found about his cheating after one of his friends sexually assaulted me and he didn't care when I told him. And then to top it off, I had a miscarriage 2 weeks later. I can never trust this man with anything not now, or ever. His only reply is that I f..... up by cheating on you, he never told me that he was sorry. If I ever cheated on someone I could never live with myself. My conscience would take over my every action and always in my thought as to how I acted. I would never even be able to look at my significant other in the face again. I could't let anyone feel the same way that I did. No matter how bad the situation is, cheating doesn't make it better, only worse. No matter how happy this man makes you, it won't last. There was a reason why you married your husband, there had to be some happiness at some point. Try and find it again if you can, or leave him. You will be better off in the long run. If you cheat on him you will be the bad one. Don't let that happen.