Posts by noni1974

29

Being raised as a witness did you ever get the chance to choose your own personal religion?

by make yourself in

with me it never actually was the case.all i remember and still hear is make sure you stay with jehovah....sometimes you just get tired of the same terd getting shoved down your throat..

noni1974

LOL What choice?? Being a born in 4th generation JW! It was either their way or the highway. I wasn't "forced" to get baptized, but I sure was pressured to get dunked. I was getting a lot of the "when are you going to get baptized?" question, and because my little sister was doing it I felt I had too.

The sad thing is my mom told me after I left that she knew I didn't believe and would one day leave, before I ever got baptized. I still don't understand why she encouraged me to do it. She said she knew I didn't believe but she thought that I would someday.

After almost 12 years of shunning I know I'm not going back. When I left it wasn't a case of leaving, but still believing for me. I left because I thought it was all a bunch of BS. I made it official for 2 reasons. 1. My family are very nosey and I would never be left alone. If they caught wind of me doing anything like dating or having a normal life I would be turned in. 2. My mom ratted me out to the elders because I told her I didn't believe and thought it was all a load of BS. I told her I wanted to take a break and find out what I believe on my own. She didn't wait 24 hours before she was on the phone to her favorite elder. I didn't want to be disfellowshipped. I wanted to leave in my own way. I thought of it like a spiritual divorce. So I wrote a DA letter. It was 2 lines long and sent it in to the KH. I got one phone call after that from my uncle who was an elder. He wanted to "talk" to me about my letter. I refused to come to the phone and told my mother to tell him I said everything I had to say in the letter. I was announced the next meeting.

My letter was:

Dear elders of the Metropolitan Congregation Cleveland, Ohio,

I, Noni1974, no longer want to be a JW. Please remove my name from your records.

Thanks

Noni1974

70

Atheist with crisis of conscience. Please help.

by parakeet in

jw
friends

i'm an atheist having a serious crisis of conscience.

please help.. i've read many, many posts that talk about atheism as a faith as distinct as any other faith.

there has also been much made of the atheist lifestyle.. my dilemma -- i don't know what the atheistic faith entails.

noni1974

I've been told that I have the devil in me when I told someone I didn't believe in god or Jesus. So apparently I'm evil.

26

Do you hide that you come here?

by paul from cleveland in

jw
friends

noni1974

I don't and never did. I told both my mother and father as soon as I found a EX JW board. I am 100% upfront with anyone who asks about them. I'm Da ed though and have nothing to hide or be afraid of. My parents won't shun me ever. I haven't lived at home with my parents for a long time and I'm a 35 year old grown up who doesn't care what other people think. In fact I don't hide anything I do from my parents. They know everything. I did hide that I was trying to get my GED from them at first but that was because I was scared of failing and having them be disapointed again. Once I told them they were very supportive and happy I was doing it. I told them the secon I found out I passed the GED and became a high school graduate and they were so proud of me, and still are. They are even supportive of me going to college.

90

Do You Personally Know Of Anyone That Committed Suicide?

by minimus in

jw
friends

lately, i've come to find out that a more than a few people in the area had killed themselves.

most of the people i know of were in their early twenties or forties.

for those loved ones surviving them, it was mostly a shock!

noni1974

I knew one. I didn't know him all that well but I knew him since he was a kid. He killed himself when he was 18 years old after he had been DF ed. He shot himself in the head. He was his mom's only child too. He was my younger cousins best friend.

49

does the idea of aging get easier with time?

by paul from cleveland in

jw
friends

noni1974

I don't worry to much about it. I know everyone who came before me did it, and everyone who comes after me will do it. What I worry about is making it the best life I can possibly have and not having a bunch of regrets when I'm old.

I'm 35 and I'm still young enough to make my life better through education and life experience. I put that off for years waiting for life to happen to me. Last year on my birthday I decided to go after life and stop waiting for good things to just happen. Since then I've made major changes to my life including pursuing and getting my GED diploma, and moving to another state to start a new life. I decided 2010 was going to be my year because 2009 sucked so bad for me. I went through my first major depression ever and came out of it determined to live life to the fullest. I have a 5 year plan that includes going to college and getting a career. So far 2010 has been a great year.

132

Faders are indeed a very large doormat

by moshe in

jw
friends

sorry, to be so blunt- for a whole day i have watched people here patting themselves on the back- we're a large army, oohh, look out wt, we might do something, well not today or tomorrow, but someday!

maybe, i have to just accept that a lot of jw's who are exiting the kh by the back door will never find a backbone to stand up to mummy and elder daddy.. jw's have a learned ability to see themselves in a better light than everyone else sees them.

ask a jw, if they are a charitable religion and they would likely all say they are, but when pressed to name a charity they will be unable to do so.

noni1974

I'm not a fader but I wish I was. I wish I could have left with my family still talking to me. I wish I could have my family in my life and tell them things I'm proud of. I wish I could have just stopped going to meeting without tkaing any formal steps. But I could not.

I DA ed because I knew with my nosy family I would one day get DF ed anyway, and I would be expected to act like a JW for the rest of my life, because if my family got wind that I was dating a non believer, or anything else against the rules, they would be the first to turn me in. My own mother proved that by turning me in when I had a private talk with her about my wish to leave. All I really wanted was a break to see if I really deep down believed it or not. Being forced fed from infancy as a born in 4th generation leaves you no choices. So I DA ed. It was the only way of gaining my freedom. I would do it over agin if I had to.

I miss my family to an extent. I don't miss them being in my business, but I miss being able to call them up and see how they are doing. I at the very least still have my parents. Most people in my situation don't even have that.

I don't hold anything against anyone. Everyone had their own jorney in life and I can't apply my own life experiances to anyone elses. I'm not a raging apostate hell bent on bringing mother down. I'm a person who left a religion and way of life that wasn't right for me. I do think JW's are a cult but I don't think it's my job to open anyone elses eyes. I believe we all have to learn for ourselves. Ripping someones faith away from they may not be the best thing for them. I do hope that oneday my family will exit the cult. I don't count on it and I've moved on with my life. But I do have hope.

25

JWN only for ex-JWs?!

by Caedes in

jw
friends

yizman,.

from what i remember, you have never been a jw.. so, then, why don't you just leave.. judge dread .

since when is this site only for ex-jws?

noni1974

Snoozy when I was a teenager I worked in fastfood. They had picture menues available for deaf people who could not speak. The ones who can speak and/or read lips, they told us to look them in the eye when we speak so they can clearly understand us. This is something I've used my whole life when I run into deaf people. I don't know sign language so it really does help me comunicate with them. I also carry a pen and paper everywhere I go just in case.

When I was a cab driver I had many deaf people. One I used to get all the time so I knew where he lived. He could speak a little and read lips. I would just turn around and look directly at him when I spoke and he understood me just fine. The major problem with that guy was when he was drunk which happened a lot. He couldn't read lips as well then so I would have to repeat myself a lot. He would sometimes get upset when he thought I didn't understand him.

As far as this subject is concerned who cares if someone was or is a JW. We should accept anyone who comes here. JW connection or not. Being a Ex jw/ JW doesn't make us special. You never know who might give you an insight to something you didn't have before.

26

life=pain

by paul from cleveland in

jw
friends

i've started drinking again.

i stopped for a month but i gave in again.

sorry i'm writing it here but who else am i going to tell?

noni1974

You have a PM.

26

life=pain

by paul from cleveland in

jw
friends

i've started drinking again.

i stopped for a month but i gave in again.

sorry i'm writing it here but who else am i going to tell?

noni1974

I'm not much for prayer but I think of this one often. I've never been in a 12 step program but this helps me in my life too. I hope it helps you. Please read it and learn from it. I really like the first verse.

God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.

Living one day at a time;
Enjoying one moment at a time;
Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;
Taking, as He did, this sinful world
as it is, not as I would have it;
Trusting that He will make all things right
if I surrender to His Will;
That I may be reasonably happy in this life
and supremely happy with Him
Forever in the next.
Amen.

41

The trouble with fading as your leaving strategy

by eyesthatsee in

whatever your chosen strategy for leaving jws, the fundamental truth is that there is no clean / simple exit.

the mind control, the manipulation of normal family relationships etc will make any strategy very difficult at times.

the key issue is to know this ahead of time and be prepared, as best you can.. we've all chosen leaving strategies acording to our personal circumstances, preferences and learning from others.

noni1974

I DA ed. I went from going to meetings and keeping my mouth shut to poof gone in one week. The only person I told anything about not believing was my mother. She turned me into the elders. I DA ed as a reaction to her betrayal of my confidence. All I really wanted was a break to see what I really believed. I had no plans on sinning or being DFed. My mother made that impossible for me. I knew I would never be allowed to live my own life my way if I stayed an official JW. I would always have to answer the questions from relatives. Being a 4th generation JW all of my family are JW's. I don't miss them. In fact it was a relief to not have to answer to everyone I knew.

I decided I was going to live my life my way right or wrong. I'm still doing that 13 years later. I didn't let my mother guilt trips or judgements change me. I have to remind my mother from time to time that I'm not obligated to live by the watchtowers rules, but other than that it's been great for me.

I would have liked to fade but it just wasn't in the cards for me. Not with my busy body family. They would try to find dirt on me if they could so I would have been DF ed anyway. I'm just glad that I was announced as having disassociated instead of the new announcement. That's right I quit, I wasn't fired!! hahahahah