Posts by noni1974

42

A Born ins challenge to develop a "post cult" personality.

by stuckinamovement in

jw
friends

a born ins challenge to develop a post cult personality.. mentally leaving the organization can be traumatic for a number of reasons.

one of the biggest challenges for born-ins in finding their pre cult personality is that our entire personalities are based on the religion.

there is no such thing as a pre cult personality for us.

noni1974

I would say the worst thing for me has been that I'm a late blommer in almost everyway. I was stunted in education, human and sexual relationships and really understanding my little corner of the world.

I "offically" lost my virginity at 25 ( I was raped at 5 and I don't count that), started smoking at 25, (not that, that is a good thing or anything) and got my educational goals together at 35. It has taken me a while to adjust to the outside world, but I feel like my personality is pretty much the same.

You have to think about how much a born in believed it was "the truth." I never believed and I think that has a lot to do with the fact that my transition although tough, wasn't something I couldn't move on from eventually. Then again I also have contact with my parents and a pretty normal relationship with them both.

My life is blossoming more than ever right now. I've been out 14 years and I am in college about to recieve another Dean's List award ($ in a row so far) and I'm in the honor socity for two year colleges, Phi Theta Kappa. I have more friends than I ever did before and I'm accepted by more groups than I ever was before. I'm involved with more things than ever before.

It has been 14 years for me ( since I DA ed) and I have also had the help of boards like this one and others to if not vent to, to read and learn from others. I would say that if my entire moral code had been obliterated it might have been harder. I still believe it's wrong to lie, steal, and cheat, not because some religion tells me so, but because that moral code came from lessons learned in my own life. I never was one to just listen to someone just because they said so and I'm still not.

53

Why did you become one of Jehovah's Witnesses?

by Celestial in

any other reason than the arbitrary explanation that you were brainwashed or seduced by a millenarianist doomsday cult?.

noni1974

Lucky vagina I guess. Being a born in takes the choice away.

48

Dealing with elders during my mom's surgery

by noni1974 in

jw
friends

my mother has been working forwell over a year to have a gastric bypass and she finally got the ok from her doctor and insurance.

the date is set for this coming friday.

although, i'm not 100% sure this will happen because she was diagnosed with pneumonia and a partially collapsed lung this past week.

noni1974

My mom's surgery has been rescheduled for March 23. My mom kept her diet until last night because she was hoping they would do it much sooner. Now she can eat solid food again and has to go back to her liquid diet on March 9. My mom really is doing everything she can to get this sugery and save her life. I'm proud of her.

66

Terrible conduct by congregation Elders in hospital room !

by RULES & REGULATIONS in

my uncle was rushed to the hospital last tuesday with severe stomach pain.

(he was diagnosed with colon cancer one year ago.

the doctors, family,and my uncle decided against colon surgery.

noni1974

It happened to me as well. I was at my uncles death bed and an elder told me to leave and find another place to wait for news of my uncles death because my presence was making people uncomfortable, it was because I am Da ed. I was sitting right next to my dying uncles bed when he said that to me. I left the room and gathered my stuff. I told my mother I was leaving. She tried to talk me out of leaving, but it was too late as far as I was concered. I went downstairs and called a cab to pick me up. In the mean time my mom called me on the phone and tried talking me into coming back. By that time I was crying and very upset. My mom put my aunt on the phone and she told me that the elder over stepped his place and no one felt uncomfortable around me and no one had asked this elder to say anything to me. My aunt told me that I was needed by both my uncle who was dying and his wife, my aunt. Not to mention my handicapped mother who I was helping to care for while she waited to hear news of her brother. I came back after my aunt came downstairs to talk to me in person and she made me feel better. In the end the elder left and I stayed.

When I say I understand, I really understand. It hurts and is absolutly out of line when elders do these kinds of things. That situation is why I googled JW's and found this board and other boards. Up to that point I was happy to live my life leaving them alone and them leaving me alone. That day an apostate was born and I have that elder to thank for it. My eyes were opened because of his treatment of me. I found out exactly what the JW's are.

I have another situation invloving my mother who is supposed to have surgery that I'm dealing with now. She was supposed to have it last Friday but it got cancled because of a medication mix up at her nursing home. I was told that an elder from the HLC would be there during my mom's surgery. I have been worried that something like that would happen again while my mom was in the hospital. I got the chance to meet the elder Friday because my mom was almost taken to surgery and he was there. He seems nice enough and treated me well, so I'm not as nervous about anything bad happening again.

I'm sorry that this happened to someone else. They only have the power over us we give them. Tell the person that this happened to that the elder has no right to ask him to leave. Then tell him if he does it again to get hospital security and have the elder removed.

48

Dealing with elders during my mom's surgery

by noni1974 in

jw
friends

my mother has been working forwell over a year to have a gastric bypass and she finally got the ok from her doctor and insurance.

the date is set for this coming friday.

although, i'm not 100% sure this will happen because she was diagnosed with pneumonia and a partially collapsed lung this past week.

noni1974

My mom will find out Monday when the surgery will happen. Until then she is supposed to eat again. She hasn't had any soild food for two weeks as of today because they need to clean up her bowl so that her insides don't have any food in them at all for the surgery. She really has been good about following her diet. She has lost over 160 pounds before the surgery. At the moment she is almost in the "safe zone" in weight for the surgery. It will still be risky for her, but the more weight she loses before surgery the better it is for her. They are going to try to get her on the schedule in the next month. Another thing is that she has had a cough for a couple of months and this will give her body more time to recover.

I guess it is a good thing really that it didn't happen today. My sister will have to come back up to Cleveland again for the surgery thpugh. I did get to meet the elder from the HLC today and he seemed nice enough. He spoke to me and shook my hand and was friendly to me. My aunt was nice as well. She treated me very nice and even intorduced me to the elder, there was no mention of me being DA ed. She spoke to me like normal and even offered to help me get a job with the company she works for. All in all it wasn't as bad as I though it was going to be. That makes me feel much better about the situation. Plus now I know the doctor isn't going to take his job lightly and will do the best he can for my mother. My other aunt wanted to be there but she was sick and decided to stay home today, so maybe she will be able to come next time.

48

Dealing with elders during my mom's surgery

by noni1974 in

jw
friends

my mother has been working forwell over a year to have a gastric bypass and she finally got the ok from her doctor and insurance.

the date is set for this coming friday.

although, i'm not 100% sure this will happen because she was diagnosed with pneumonia and a partially collapsed lung this past week.

noni1974

The surgery didn't happen today. It had to be rescheduled because her nursing home was giving my mom a blood thinner that was supposed to be given to her after the surgery. The doctor didn't want to take the risk because of the no blood issue. Now my mom has to do her liquid diet for two weeks routine again . I'm upset that this happened but I'm glad the doctor decided to be careful with my mother.

48

Dealing with elders during my mom's surgery

by noni1974 in

jw
friends

my mother has been working forwell over a year to have a gastric bypass and she finally got the ok from her doctor and insurance.

the date is set for this coming friday.

although, i'm not 100% sure this will happen because she was diagnosed with pneumonia and a partially collapsed lung this past week.

noni1974

It will be happening tomorrow. I got the final word this afternoon. I will be at the hospital all day tomorrow. I'm not looking forward to this.

7

If you are suicidal and need help, numbers to call and websites

by Violia in

if you are suicidal and need more help than this board or a friend can provide.

there are many free sources of help on the web and the phone.. .

usa: national suicide prevention lifeline at 1-800-273-8255 or 1-800-suicide - 24 hours a day.

noni1974

I'm taking some suicide prevention course next week at school. Last semester I had an experiance with a fellow classmate who I had barely spoken to that scared me badly. She walked up to me after class and asked where she could find someone to talk to and I directed her to the counciling office on campus. Then she asked me where she could buy bullets near our school. I asked her what type of gun she was talking about, she said a hand gun. I told her I had no idea where to buy those kind of bullets. I left the class a bit confused and thinking how strange that was. I happened to see a fellow classmate a few minutes and I told her what happened and she told me to go report it to the professor. My instinct was that I should report it but I didn't know if I was the only one who found it strange or if it was really a situation I should report. I thought maybe I was taking it the wrong way until I talked to my classmate. I ended up reporting it to my professor right away and it turns out she had asked the professor almost the same thing. My professor reported it to someone and it ended up that she was made to talk to someone and it may have saved her life.

What I hope to learn at this class is what to do if it happens again or something like it. I want to be prepared next time.

48

Dealing with elders during my mom's surgery

by noni1974 in

jw
friends

my mother has been working forwell over a year to have a gastric bypass and she finally got the ok from her doctor and insurance.

the date is set for this coming friday.

although, i'm not 100% sure this will happen because she was diagnosed with pneumonia and a partially collapsed lung this past week.

noni1974

It's getting close now. My mom won't know until tomorrow if she is well enough for the surgery. I'm hoping that she is because I don't want to have to go through this stress again. Plus I have to gear myself up to see my sister and be civil. That alone is going to be hard. I will be bringing my HP Mini laptop and my homework so that I will be busy most of the time and I won't be bothered with the idiot brigade.

Thanks for the advice and support. It really helps to know that I have people who understand to vent to.

48

Dealing with elders during my mom's surgery

by noni1974 in

jw
friends

my mother has been working forwell over a year to have a gastric bypass and she finally got the ok from her doctor and insurance.

the date is set for this coming friday.

although, i'm not 100% sure this will happen because she was diagnosed with pneumonia and a partially collapsed lung this past week.

noni1974

My family are self righteous JW's sadly. Even my father who is DF ed but still believes. Although, they know what happened the last time and I'm sure they would understand me getting upset with the elders if they say anything to me that is out of line.