"The best mind set with which to enter into the festivities, IMO, is to invite the people you truly care about and want to share your joy with. Supply the food and drinks yourself according to what YOU can comfortably afford for the amount of people you have invited. Do this with an attitude of wanting to host a party and share your happiness with your friends, expecting nothing in return in the way of gifts or cash, just as you would do if you were hosting a party in your own home because you wanted to get all your friends together. "
I wholeheartrdly agree. That's what we did. Annoyed a couple of "brothers' when they found out that there wasn't going to be any alcohol.(My father in law was very opposed to drinking, bad time in the military)
To which we both said "Tough!"