Dear Truthseeker:
I was in much the same position as your wife. My husband gave up on being a witness years ago. However, due to much pressure from me, he continued attending the meetings and field service. I would say to him, "if you can leave Jehovah, what will stop you from leaving me." If we would have continued in this course, we would have been divorced.
When my husband wouldn't come to the meetings with me the ones in the hall would give me that pitiful look of "Oh, you poor thing, your husband is such a loser." I hated that look and it made me angry at them and my husband. He hated attending the meetings and when he did he had this awful look on his face that told me he hated every second of it. So, I would get mad at him for that too. With me, he could not win for losing. He had it bad if he went and if didn't.
I knew of all the things wrong in the organization and knew that things weren't right. I figured it was just the evil slave doing the harm. But I was caught on one phrase, it kept me going and kept me hoping, "WAIT ON JEHOVAH".
My recommendation is this, break down that wall. If you can get her to see that Jehovah isn't behind this religion and that it is just another false religion it might break through.
The only other problem I see with your situation is that it seems like she actually has friends in the hall. I didn't. It was miserable attending the meetings. It was miserable trying to figure out what you did so wrong that would make you so unlikeable. Maybe you can try to figure if these people that she claims as friends are really that.
I am sorry for your situation and hope that it gets better. If you would like to speak to my husband or myself about this please PM and I will give you our phone number.
Loruhamah