Posts by bythesea

9

I'm back and I'm a grandma!!

by bythesea in

jw
friends

in case you didn't miss me that's ok!!

i took off for a month and went to be with my only daughter who was expecting her first child....which is 2 weeks old today!!

i just got home today and wanted to check in and say hi; checking back through the posts i see there are many new ones and that i've missed some lively conversation!

Hello everyone! In case you didn't miss me that's ok!! I took off for a month and went to be with my only daughter who was expecting her first child....which is 2 weeks old today!! I just got home today and wanted to check in and say HI; checking back through the posts I see there are many new ones and that I've missed some lively conversation! I hope I can catch up on some of the topics!

I won't bore all the fellows out there with the details of being there for the birth of my granddaughter, but will sum it up with the word AWESOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! My daughter went through 21 1/2 hrs of back labor and delivered without drugs, with the help and support of her husband, myself(a trained doula) and her midwife....my daughter was AWESOME, the baby is AWESOME, right now LIFE is totally AWESOME!!!!!! This is our first grandchild and we plan to spoil her rotten!!

It was very strange to spend a month around my old cong. and friends there who haven't a clue that there is anything amiss with me these days....I went to meetings with my daughter and her husband, heard their CO (who said things that had me literally grinding my teeth in protest! & at one get together I called him a Nazi!LOL), spent a couple of nights in the home of the PO and his wife, had lunch several times with various sisters and couples from our old KH....all the time hoping that I was putting on a convincing show to everyone. It was nerve wracking to say the least....I felt deceitful and dishonest with people who I have sincere feelings for and care about....but knew I couldn't say anything about my true feelings about the faith. At one point my daughter questioned me about what was going on with me these days and I managed to avoid the conversation as best I could as I didn't want to cause her concern at such a time as her pending birth....but she at least knows now that I DO have "issues" that I'm working on! The cat is out of the bag with her in as gentle a way as possible.

I guess it wouldn't matter about the friends there except that it appears that we will be moving back to the area in a couple of months and I'm going to be thrown back into close quarters with all those buddies from before...I'm going to have to figure out a plan for how to deal with them...and my daughter and her husband(a MS)....I don't want to do/say anything to give them reason to not allow me to build a connection with this new little person in my life. I'm open to input on this subject!!

So, carry on, gang!! Its sooooo good to be back home!! Bythesea

6

Sunday service

by dothemath in

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it used to be quite common for people to go out in field service on sundays after the meeting.........and even fairly regularly on some evenings.. in our hall, this has turned into a bit of a charade..........it's always announced there will be a meeting for service, etc.

etc............but no one at all goes out........not even the brother taking the arrangement.. i don't think many spend their evenings doing this anymore either.. is this what is happening in other congregations?

bythesea

Where I live they do still have participation in field service on Sundays and evening witnessing one night during the week. It isn't always a large group, sometimes during the week no one shows up, I hear, but its also just a seasonal thing, and with the time change this weekend I think the evening group will stop going out. On Sunday's the cong that meet at the KH in the afternoon don't ususally have many that go out.... When the evening group was meeting at my house a couple of years ago for FS weeks would go by and no one showed up....but at least I was getting my front room and bathroom cleaned well once a week!!

36

I can't read the WT and AWAKE anymore

by Jez in

hundreds of supplementary publications written by unnamed authors that can hide behind the watchtower and bible tract society and say anything without referencing it.

lately, i have been thinking that this is one of the reasons that the society does not encourage higher education.

try handing in an essay without your name on it, try not referencing your essay, try having no works cited, try to have only 1 works cited, try quoting out of context, try spewing statistics or numbers or trends in your essay with no reference or date, add ellipsis that only alert your instructor to the potential of hidden information, or try presenting as support for your thesis a third party quote.

bythesea

Does anyone else remember hearing a few years back at a District Convention the claim that just by reading the Awake mags from cover to cover for a period of ?? years that it would be the equivelent of getting a 4 year college education?? It strikes me now that this was probably said to further enforce the "no higher education" plug....who needs one when they can read the Awake, right?? What a croc!!

I don't think that if you were to apply for a position that required some college education or a BA or Masters degree in some particular field and you wrote down instead that you'd been a faithful reader of the Awake for the past 5 years that they'd see that as good enough! LOL

bythesea

41

Scales falling from my eyes. (very long!)

by PoppyR in

hi everyone, totally new here.

and still associating with jws... have been baptised 23 years, that was at the tender age of 13 when i had absolutely no idea what i was doing.

i have always been considered a rebel...brought up in a family by a single parent, my two brothers are both elders, the younger being a regular pioneer, my sister a regular pioneer and serving in a foreign language congregation.

bythesea

Welcome, Poppy! Hugs!!! Its IS a scarey place, where you are right now...I'm just in the moving-out-of-it phase myself, so I can totally relate to where you're at. Many have suggested doing research and reading...I second that thought! Educating yourself on the history of the Org., many of its doctrines, doing some independent thinking for yourself...all of this will help you to clarify in your mind the steps you need to be taking. I also have tons of family who are JW, including my husband and 2 adult children, and I fear everyday of losing them because of wanting to be true to my own conscience. Its a hard place to be...but you've found this Board and it will help you...and WE all want to help you through this rough time too. Hang in there!

If you haven't yet, I suggest reading Ray Franz' 2 books....the second one helped me see that I didn't NEED to feel I had to have another org. to belong to in order to please God, or have a relationship with him or his Son...its a very comforting book, I read back through it regularly! Keep us posted, Poppy.... (((((hugs to you))))) bythesea

51

Thinking of getting reinstated? Read my story.

by Jez in

a lot has happened to me since march.

i have learned so much.

i hesitated to put this out in jwd, but i now think that if it helps one person, it will have been worth it.

bythesea

Thanks for sharing your experience, Jez...and I'm so sorry that you have had these tough lessons. You sound like someone who WILL come out of it ok, tho. Hugs.

I wish my df son and his df wife could read your experience...they are trying to be reinstated, both have gone to their respective elder bodys and have been told "not yet, keep up the good work, tho". I feel sure that it is mostly for family reasons that they are trying to get reinstated....if they could just read your post!

bythesea

14

GoingGoingGone

by twinflame in

i just want to send my thoughts and well wishes to ggg.

i was in touch with her until the time of the florida hurricane and she was in a very close path of the worst of it.

i haven't seen her online since and sincerely hope all is well with her and her loved ones.. please join me in sending good thoughts her way and having a warm welcome ready when she returns to us.

bythesea

Good news folks! I got a pm from GGG yesterday morning and everyone made it fine...sounds like lots of damage to things outside, but the family is safe and sound! They were in camping mode, cooking on the grill, flushing the toilet with water from the pool, etc. but she was in good spirits and hoping their power would be on soon.... I'm sure you will all hear from her again soon! She is a great friend and is the one who encouraged me to check all of you guys out! I'm glad she did!!

If I hear anything else from her I'll let you all know!!

bythesea

20

Embarrased that you were a JW?

by Lady Lee in

i have finally started to read captive hearts, captive minds.. they say something that got me to thinking.. i used to feel embarassed to tell non-jws that i was a jw.

it was one thing to tell people at the doors.

it was totally another thing to tell other people.

bythesea

I never made it a point to tell workmates or anyone I met that I was a JW...unless something came up that required me to take a stand on an issue. There was an incident a few years ago that I've thought back on and realize now was an indication that I was on the slide out of the Org. A df'd husband killed his wife and 3 children in our state and it made national news... When it hit the local papers he was all the talk at work and the fact that he was a JW...since I'd only been on the job barely a month I knew no one was aware I was a JW...and I kept the fact hidden. I knew others(JW) would have been quick to defend the Org. and explain the df policy, etc but I couldn't help but feel that the df policy might have had something to do with his desperation(not that I'm defending what he did! Not at all!!)and the actions he took. I was embarressed to admit to anyone that I was part of an org that shunned its members. It was only a few months later that another JW family in our area also met the same fate...both of these families had recently moved to this area and were trying to start over after the husbands had been df.

Now that I am trying to fade myself out of the Org I never identify myself as a JW when the subject comes up...I do refer to myself as a Christian, rather than a JW. My husband recently introduced us to a new neighbor and managed to work in the fact that we are JW....I just cringed and wanted to speak up and say "he may be, but I'm not!" but I haven't had "that talk" yet with my husband, so ..... bythesea

28

Introducing myself proper-like

by Sheepish in

i guess i should do this in some beginning way, i am new here and still learning my way around the site.. i was raised in a divided household, and my mom taught us in secret.

when my dad found out the insuing religious wars pretty much marked me for life.

but i was imprinted with the wt.

bythesea

Welcome Sheepish!!! I'm fairly new here too, and look forward to hearing more from you. The family situations are ohso common, I'm finding out.... bythesea

23

Just sayin Howdy

by forsharry in

i saw that other people had done this and i figured it would be a good way to introduce myself.

i've been reading many of the threads and let me tell you that it's comforting to read that others feel the same way i have felt about being in the organization.

i'm not sure how much i can contribute as far as delectible tidbits of information, but i have replied to a couple of threads to, if nothing else, interject some 'humor' into things.

bythesea

Welcome Forsharry!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It was a painful story to hear, but you sound like you are making a success of your life....finding out who YOU are, and you will no doubt find good company here who will also like you for being YOU! We'll look forward to hearing more from you! bythesea

17

Elder Abuse and Special Committees

by twinflame in

i thought i would share an experience from the congregation i was assosiated with in utah.

about 17 years ago i caught my 15-year-old stepson molesting my 3-year-old daughter.

of course, the first action taken was to call the elders.

bythesea

Hugs to you!!!!!!!!!!!!! ((((((((((((((((((((twinflame)))))))))))))))))))))) What a horrendous ordeal to have had to go through, and when you aren't able to put it behind you then you are, in effect, STILL going through it.

You have every right to feel anger, and to express it safely here, for what happened to your children, and also for the betrayal by your elder body in handling this correctly. Lady Lee has good suggestions....the letters can be an effective way to help heal. I did a ton of research on sexual abuse/molestation when my bible study's husband was accused of molesting their young teenage daughter. I attended 3 mos. of very informative classes on sexual predators and now realize, as do so many of us, that our congregations have been harboring them for a long time! Its sickening and disgraceful....and I'm so very sorry that your children, and you, were victims of these men.

Please continue to post here...let us be a safe place to vent, and to receive our love and support to you. You WILL get past this....it will just take some time. Hang in there.

bythesea