Posts by COMF

20

OK to Check In?

by troubled in

jw
friends

i just felt the need to check in.

i've just felt so touched at the heart by those of you who responded with such loving interest yesterday.

and while i need to be grown up, responsible, and wise, sometimes all i want is for someone to love me and keep me safe.

They were here for me while I sorted it all out, Troubled. That was five years ago. They, and I, will be here for you, too. Take your time; there's no rush. Relax. It's going to be okay. It really is.

COMF

4

Thank you: all of you

by Rex B13 in

jw
friends

i want to thank all of you who responded to my thread, "for those who still care".

i also want to thank everyone who just read the post and thought about it.. farkel and i go way back, well, all of the h2o crowd go way back.

i have 'butted heads' with most of them and am now doing the same with other's here.

COMF

WW, I'm all in favor of helping the sister out. It's a fine thing. But, aren't you going against God's expressed will in this matter, trying to have mere humans heal her when He has indicated it is not to be?

COMF

4

Thank you: all of you

by Rex B13 in

jw
friends

i want to thank all of you who responded to my thread, "for those who still care".

i also want to thank everyone who just read the post and thought about it.. farkel and i go way back, well, all of the h2o crowd go way back.

i have 'butted heads' with most of them and am now doing the same with other's here.

COMF

Why didn't y'all save your money and just lay hands on her? Cast them deemins out, WW! You can do it! I have faith in ya.

COMF

22

Please answer this for me

by jayhawk1 in

jw
friends

i have a question, that i would love answered.

especially if you are a woman.

men can answer too, but a woman's opinion really matters to me.

COMF

I am not romantically interested in me

Although I advocate wholesome love of self, I must say that I think it's a good thing that you're not romantically interested in yourself.

Harry to Sally in "When Harry Met Sally": Men can't be friends with women because of the sex thing. A man always wants to nail a good looking woman."

Sally: "So if I was ugly we could be friends?"

Harry: "No. We pretty much want to nail them, too."

COMF

118

Bizarre news story

by BoozeRunner in

jw
friends

heres a bizarre story....tell me what you think!.

court shouldn't regulate one's right to have sex .

by kathleen parker .

COMF

Maybe you missed my point COMF.

Maybe you missed mine. Did I say anything about you?

Have you ever heard of estimates about how much it costs to raise a child?

I don't need estimates. I raised my two. I did it without child support. Maybe you missed that point, too.

I didn't even factor in college savings, etc etc because the $20,000 [g]in my life isn't enough to do that on.

I put myself through college while raising my kids and working a 40-hour work week stocking shelves and sacking groceries for $5.30 an hour (in 1990-1993) because that's the only job I could find that would allow me to attend daytime, fulltime college classes. Please don't lecture me about college expenses.

the NCP's job is to pay child support; it is up to the CP to decide how to use it. Period.

Spoken like a true recipient, not a payor.

what makes you think some bastard that doesn't live in my life or my world determine how much I should spend on my child?

Every bit of the money the courts award your child is supposed to be spent on your child. That's not your exhusband's decision, it's the way it is. I guess you figure a court judge is going to support the idea of a mother buying herself clothes, perfume and beer with child support money? Right.

And if in my case, I had chosen to use some of that money to go to college, you'd better be ducking for cover before telling me I was wrong.

You would be a thief.

NONE OF THIS WAS REIMBURSED.

That makes it okay to steal your child's money?

I don't hear one complaint from the men on this board about how much of my fucking money I've spent

Oh, whine, whine, whine. Give it a rest, please.

If I had another $10,000 a year

Then get a job that pays you $10,000 more a year.

COMF

8

Red Horse Woman Fan Club

by wasasister in

jw
friends

you done yerself proud, gurl.

who'd a thunk, a corn-pone fed, country bumpkin such as yerself cudda plowed under a know-it-not noah's ark groupie like "jason".

god bless y'all and the horses ya rode in on.. jason: i tried to read your posts, i swear i tried.

COMF

plays slide guitar like a ring and a bell

Actually, Johnny B. Goode could "play guitar just like he's ringing a bell." Meaning, he made it look that easy.

Pedantic COMF

"Not unless fired upon, suh... not unless fired upon."

118

Bizarre news story

by BoozeRunner in

jw
friends

heres a bizarre story....tell me what you think!.

court shouldn't regulate one's right to have sex .

by kathleen parker .

COMF

The men would receive $500 a piece

Gigolos? Interesting, isn't it, how a space alters the meaning. ;)

I get the exact same amount of child support, and let me tell you, unless you want to live like a bum, it's not enough for the mother and the child.

Exactly right. It's not supposed to be. It's for the child only. It's to be spent on food, clothing, medical expenses, toys, classes, and other things for the child. It can be spent on decent housing if necessary, or on gasoline or car repairs if the car is necessary to the child's wellbeing. It cannot be spent on clothes for the mother, cigarettes, booze, cosmetics, tanning parlors, or nights on the town. The mother isn't even supposed to eat the food that's bought with the child support money. It's not called "child support" by coincidence.

If the mother is attending college while living on the child support, she's stealing from the child. It's the kid's money, not hers to spend on her own education. Nor is it hers to spend on her own necessities of life so that she doesn't have to work and therefore can attend college. Attending college is good; more power to those who achieve it. But mooching the kid's money to do it is wrong.

When Vickie, the mother of my two children, divorced me after five years of marriage, she stipulated in the papers that she would be the one with custody, but she didn't say anything about child support. In court, the judge looked the papers over and asked, "What about child support?" This was not discussed by us beforehand, and I didn't know she would do it, but she said to the judge, "Your honor, I know that Fred loves the boys and he will do what he can to take care of them. I don't want to ask for any certain amount. He'll support them as he's able."

The judge turned and glared at me as though this had been my idea, and said, "That is unacceptable. Those children are wards of this court now, and it's my duty to see to it that they are properly cared for." And he stipulated an amount I was to pay.

During the first year we were divorced the boys were with me more often than with her. I claimed them on my income tax because I had day care receipts to show that I had supported them for more than six months out of the year. I would pick them up for their weekend visitation, and come Sunday afternoon she would call and ask if I would mind keeping them a little longer, "just a week or two," while she "got her act together."

After a year, I knew (she told me) that she had gotten back into drugs and had developed a dependence on speed. She was living from boyfriend to boyfriend, moving from one place to another every few weeks, and (I eventually learned) had gotten into prostitution.

So I asked her to go back to court and swap places with me, so that the kids legally lived with me and she had visitation rights. She said no, she couldn't do that. So I offered her a thousand dollars to do it. Then she said okay, but only on the condition that she didn't have to pay child support. I said sure, no problem.

So we had a lawyer draw up the papers, and we went back to court. As luck would have it, it was the same judge who had handled the divorce. And, looking over the papers, again he asked, "What about child support?" This time it was my turn. "Your honor," I said, "I make a decent income. I can take care of the boys okay on my own. I don't need child support."

The judge looked at her, and looked at me, and shrugged his shoulders and said, "Okay."

She got a sum of money that probably lasted her about 48 hours. I got 15 years of raising my children in my own home, in my own care. It was the best deal I ever made.

COMF

P.S. Having contributed my fair share to the survival of the species (two kids), I bowed out of the fathering business. Blanks. FWIW.

17