M*A*S*H

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Posts by M*A*S*H

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  117

  "9/11 was in fact....an Attack on Jehovah's Organization!!"

  by RagingBull in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  good day,.

  this week is the super special week of activity with one of our favorite jw celebrities...the circuit overseer!!!.

  in last night's talk, he gave sooooo much encouragement...just hearing him made me want to fall to my knees and worship him!

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  M*A*S*H

  I personally hope they continue to spout this type of nonsense, I've always enjoyed it when dubs share 'experiences' (I love that term, never miracle, always 'experience'). It was just such an 'experience' that convinced my brother to leave the Borg.

  A close friend of my brother’s in the Borg, had sadly, taken his own life. Then at the very next convention an experience was given about someone contemplating suicide, they were praying just before they were going to take that final step - when... there was a knock at the door. Guess who!? My brother was pretty damn sure his friend would have been praying his heart out before he did what he did... in no small part this lead to him escaping the Borg.

  On a brighter note, I've laughed out loud before when listening to experiences (TM) at the kongdim hall. I remember one about a sister on the ministry, despite being hungry she didn't stop for lunch to ensure she covered all her territory that day. At the end of the day she was so giddy she had to sit down, her partner in crime was "very worried" about her. As she sat down on the pavement she noticed something on the floor by the bench - it was an unopened Mars bar (that's a chocolate bar). The moral? Trust in Jehovah he will see you right!

  Brilliant. Can you imagine the Angel's face when Big J handed him a Mars bar saying "Hey Gabe, pop down with this bad boy, sister Miggins needs a sugar rush".

  Anyone else got any cool "experiences"?
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  97

  Wouldn't the predators on the ark have eaten everything by the time the 40 days was over?

  by highdose in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  let say noah did manage to get all the species into the ark... about half of them would have been predators and the other half natural prey.. are we going to belive that they went without eating for 40 days and nights?

  or the ridiculous theory as the wt would have it that noah fed them nice tasty bales of straw which they happily munched on?.

  and even if one of these two exhuses were true, when the animals were let out of the ark into a world now deverstated by a flood, then wouldn't they have continued eating eachother???

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  M*A*S*H

  Errrrr Guys. This is a miracle! God just stopped the animals getting hungry and shoved a cork up their bums, simples.

  Oh wait, or.... maybe it never happened.
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  24

  Not a big deal to some but a big deal to me!

  by Simon Morley in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  2010:07:01 offically "inactive" - whats next?

  - flurry of calls?, co/coboe "we want to encourage you..."?

  given the vitrolic nature of my exit i doubt they want to come around.

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  M*A*S*H

  What's next? Find a hobby :o)

  If they do come a knocking... keeping mentioning the word 'harassment'! They don't like that!
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  150

  Most Ridiculous Thing You've Ever Been Counseled On

  by MrFreeze in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  i'm sure topics like this have already come up but they tend to get hilarious with the absolute absurdity that goes on in the kh.

  i was once counseled for not shaving after two days.

  i was also counseled by a sister for eating lucky charms cereal.

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  M*A*S*H

  Isn't it weird... we all had 'counselling' when we didn't want it or need it in the borg. But, then when we 'fade' or 'pop' out... we're left wondering what the 'holy hell' is going on, usually without a clue where to start!

  I was counselled for many things... but I suppose my best memory of being 'ticked off by the elders' was for fiddling with the central heating controls in the KH (I was about 16yo at the time)... having popped out for a much needed toilet break - I noticed the heating control unit on the wall.... turned it up to 35c and whacked the 1 hour boost button. It was summer. I told them I thought it was a light switch :o\

  Oh, I also pinned up a politcal party flyer on the notice board for a laugh... that didn't go down well either. Obvisouly the elders aren't Labour supporters ?!
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  121

  New Generation understanding tied to Freddie Franz

  by 5thGeneration in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  also don't know if this has been mentioned previously.. our speaker yesterday, gb member br.

  pierce, tied the overlap theory directly to fred franz's lifetime.. did anyone else catch this?.

  evidently (and i'm paraphrasing), anyone anointed after franz's death in 1992 is not of the 'generation'.. 5th.

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  M*A*S*H

  Whilst researching the generation thing (online, which is not a particularly good place to look.. but hey) I think I've found the ultimate proof for what a generation is...

  source: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Generation_Game

  The Generation Game was a Britishgame show produced by the BBC in which four teams of two (people from the same family, but different generations, hence the title of the show) compete to win prizes.

  Now I've I seen the generation game, and all the contestants were alive... and still considered 'different' generations. Bruce Forsyth, a well known British philosopher and expert on ancient languages (possibly) agrees (maybe).

  Case closed dubs.... you can't argue with wiki, it's like the bible online, but with pictures and stuff.

  The only way to live forever is to do something great.
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  88

  The next dub that says "the light's getting brighter" to me...

  by undercover in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  ...is going to get his punched out.

  yes, friends, this is another thread about the latest generation teaching.

  so, if you're sick to death of it, leave now, save yourselves.... anyhoo... as the wts has now unleashed on the world the true explanation of generation and what it means for those of us in this time of the end, dubs who accept without question this teaching are 'oohing' and 'ahhing' as the new explanation 'makes so much sense now'.

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  M*A*S*H

  Hey, alice... I think you're great. There aren't many people that can copy and paste other peoples thoughts/work as well as you. I mean the way you pasted all that crud from belief.net was truely awesome! Because that's what people come to this forum for, to read lot's of rubbish someone has dumped in a post and passed off as their own.

  You go girl!
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  10

  Found Some WT rags

  by mrsjones5 in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  in the waiting area of the medical office i took my husband to this morning.

  i removed them from the waiting area and they will soon be destroyed.

  i would have disposed of them at the medical office but i couldn't find a trash can.

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  M*A*S*H

  mrsjones, you're providing a great public service there.

  I recently found an Awake magazine in my doctors reception... I didn't bin it... I annotated the article on evolution, I thought it would be better if some JW picked it up a read the comments! Alas, I expect it was a waste of time - however it did keep me from having to pick up 'Devon Life' magazine, which features a vaste array of beautiful houses I can't afford :o( so thanks for that WBTS!!! You rock!

  PS. I've convinced some people that 'Awake' is pronounced 'A-wack-ee'. I don't know why I do it... I think I have mental issues, but it is fun. I tell them the WatchTower is from the US, and the Awackee is from Japan. Most people seem to believe anything you tell them about dubs, it's true... for example, just pick something mundane - for example - tell the next person that asks about dubs... "You know they don't eat fish - it's a sin", or "do you know they can't eat fruit on the third Sunday of each month?". They'll believe you. :P

  Spread the love!
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  22

  Neither the Bible or Dictionary support the new light on the Generation

  by wasblind in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  according to the governing body, the anointed who were on hand in 1914 will overlap the lives of todays anointed.

  these two groups make up one generation.. "bull".

  the bible supports the dictionaries definition of generation, matthew 1:1-17 shows abraham, isaac and jacob as three separate generations, verse 17 says: "all the generations, then, from abraham until david were fourteen generations.. the dictionaries definition say: all people born around the same time; a single stage in the descent of a family or group.

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  M*A*S*H

  Hey wasblind, the whole generation thing is a major thorn in the side of the borg. Those of us that lived through the 'change' can only admire the way the org has survived this redefinition of generation - many of us expected/hoped for a mass walk out! We should have known better!

  But to answer your question with a question - where in the bible is there any supporting evidence for "new light" itself?
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  57

  Homosexuality is a Sin. Beleive me, you'll want to see this!

  by whereami in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  the definition of "pot meets kettle".

  this is just to funny.

  how is anyone supposed to take religion seriously, really.. .

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  M*A*S*H

  If you guys disagree with the chappy in the video, you are, like, totally gay. 'Straight' up. Remember if you're gay, there must be a reason for it - just get over it, like, walk it off or something. Stop killing the sperm, it's nasty.
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  181

  It looks like I will become an elder this week!

  by outofthebox in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  that's right guys.

  as i told you before, they boe have been considering me for the eldership.

  which i don't care for, but since my family is stuck in this cult, i guess i can use the new position to help them see that the holy spirit has nothing to do with me being an elder.

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  M*A*S*H

  Oops my bad... I'm being trollish... this thread was dead!