Posts by freedomlover

I refused to tell them goodbye. I am not leaving them, I am leaving their religion. My door is wide open to anyone who respects me and my home as much as I respect them and their home. My tender affections are not cramped for room, their's are.

i like this a lot. thanks. part of me wants to just disappear and not say goodbye. not give them a chance to hurt me.

I don't want to play by their rules. I want to be the bigger person. thanks for setting such an aspiring example for me.

freedomlover

4

Final Farewell to a Friend

by wanderlustguy in

jw
friends

i'm finding it really hard to compose my thoughts so please forgive me if anything seems crass or too blunt.

gin was my friend.

even when we were apart, so many things i saw her say and do stayed with me.

freedomlover

((((((((((((((((((I hear ya wanderlust......)))))))))))))))))))freedomlover

29

I love these Jehovah's Witnesses

by freedomlover in

jw
friends

before any of you jump all over me about how i could love any jw's let me explain and just vent here.

some of you may have ready my hubby's post about us leaving the area.

work, and wanting to fade has made this necessary.

freedomlover

before any of you jump all over me about how I could love ANY JW's let me explain and just vent here.

some of you may have ready my hubby's post about us leaving the area. work, and wanting to fade has made this necessary. well, some of my dearest friends and family held a small party to wish us well. no one here knows about us mentally being way gone out of the org. they all still think we are good Jah loving witnesses. I was around these people and I feel hollow and kind of feel like the whole situation is surreal. I can't believe these people who I know and love, and who know and love me, can't see what a totally different person I am now.

I feel like a hypocrite.

I feel like a warrior.

I feel immense loss.

I feel immense sadness.

sadness for me, for my children, for my friends, my family, the loss of dear people. I've been with some of these people through some of the biggest moments of their lives. yet, in just a short while, there coldness for me will start to show. the impact of what reality is for me is starting to take shape and it feels like such a huge monster at times. I feel like I won't have the strength to win this one. I know I will. I always come out okay. It's the spoils of this war that I am mourning already. all the loss. so much to mourn about how much we loss in this battle.

I know this is a place to vent, and deal with anger over all we have lost. however, today, I would like to say: I love these Jehovah's Witnesses. not because they are JW's but because they are human beings who I have a connection to, and whom I have come to love. Some of them are closer to me than my own family. I think we need to remember these people as other human beings whom we love and will continue to love. I suppose I'm trying to teach myself where to place the anger and resentment, and I want to remind myself it's not directed to these people. I don't want to JW bash today. I want to love JW's today.

this is for all those I have to leave behind. you all may think I have a choice that I could have stayed in the org. I don't see that I had that choice. knowing what I know now, there was no choice for me. it was the consequence I was forced to take. please know my love is always there.

from third eye blind -" you want to know how deeply my soul goes? deeper than bones....deeper than bones....."

freedomlover.

thanks to all of you for reading and just being around on this board....my new friends, in my new life.

24

Governing Body Subhumans: Merry Christmas

by 144001 in

having recently experienced the trauma of watching a loved one proudly refuse blood despite being told it was medically necessary and that refusing it would be extremely risky, i realized exactly where i stand in life.

in addition to my childhood being exploited and made miserable by the watchtower cult, that same cult now threatens to take loved ones from me via the blood policy.. .

so, on this day after christmas, i am raging mad, and i want to express my christmas wish for the governing body, the subhuman gristle responsible for this illogical and despicable blood policy.

freedomlover

Good for you.....be pissed off! someone wise on this board said the other day...(not quoting exactly)....anger can be a good thing. it shows us when we've been personally violated. to listen to that anger shows self respect to your feelings.

I agree with you and GBL......

it just totally sucks sometimes. no way around it.

thinking of you....much love,freedomlover

23

tetrapod: a year ago today....

by tetrapod.sapien in

jw
friends

i joined this board in march of 05, if i recall correctly.

i had da'd shortly before.. a year ago today, dec 25, 04, was hell for me.

i was already an atheist, but had not da'd yet.

freedomlover

tetra -

thanks for this post. gave me lots of courage yesterday and gave me something to reflect on since I am in that spot your were a year ago when you wouldn't let yourself enjoy xmas till next year. looking forward to it though....

but it still seems there is something magical about it. something that, for a few days once a year, makes you feel a little better about life. and that's the essence. i always knew it as a JW, but never experienced it.

................loved to hear you talk about the magic of xmas. there is something magical about it, and I think we humans need the break from ~~insanity,~~ er reality more than we admit.

if you let the pain of leaving the truth get better, it will get better. but you have to be brave, and have some spare brain cells

been kind of a painful week for me because of the fact I'm leaving, but thanks for the reminder. it does get better......just wish there wasn't so much lost along the way.

hope your xmas was great. (pouring myself a guiness) cheers bud! - freedomlover

40

I HATE THIS DEATH CULT!!!!

by avishai in

jw
friends

right now my cousin, who has'nt even been a dub for years is likely dying because of the blood issue.

she signed no blood stuff likely due to her parents and a likely hlc member, jim rife.

she signed it apparently in a drugged or severely stressed state right before they put her into an incuced coma.

freedomlover

(((((((avishai))))))))))))))) this sucks. no way around it. thinking about you man....

freedomlover

18

Old and Sick JW's must be discouraged how slow the Kingdom is coming....

by JH in

jw
friends

.

i wonder what goes through the mind of old and sick jw' s who never thought the new system would be so far away....................................................................................

freedomlover

they are on the hamster wheel and many of them consciously don't think about it. the strain of "expectation postponed, makes the heart sick" (gulp! quoted from the bible there - tee hee!)comes out in subconscience ways like poor health and mental problems. your body has ways of letting you know something is wrong when you try to run from problems that you need to deal with. I see this scenario playing out with very close family members that are still in and it breaks my heart at times...............

3

Things I have learned

by Lady Lee in

jw
friends

i've been out of the wts for over 20 years now.

some things i have kept and many i have left behind.

the things i have kept sustain me.

freedomlover

beautiful thoughts "new creation" and WELCOME!!

Lady Lee and jgnat - always richness from your wise brains.....you are my role models and teachers.

I've learned many on the things you also brought out.

a couple I can think of is:

- love. to love is the greatest human experience. it's never foolish to express your love or adoration for someone. show love and it will come back to you.

- friendship. it's the universe's way of making up to us over our crappy families.

21

The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation. Henry David Thoreau

by jst2laws in

jw
friends

desperation.

the evidence mounted that your faith which you mistakenly built upon men, your entire spirituality, your life, was standing precariously high upon the wobbling foundation of an artfully contrived fraud.

remember the quiet desperation?

freedomlover

narkissos -

As the hours went by a strange feeling developed -- as if they couldn't see me or hear me anymore. They were talking to someone else, someone already dead. I had changed and that change was not even incomprehensible, it was imperceptible to them.

this is something I have been experiencing. how could these people who know me and love me not see how much I have changed?! very "out of body" experience....

loved your thoughts on this......