Posts by conflicted

19

I'm stuck in limbo, what to do?

by conflicted in

jw
friends

if you don't know my past i'll paraphrase: basically, i got away from the dubs, but their teachings, dogma, doctine, mindset still have grips on aspects of my life.

i just can't let some of it go.. i was raised in the "truth" and left because i wanted a life of my own.

i didn't have doubts about their teachings, but resolved myself to die at the big a so i could have a real life now.

conflicted

Many thanks to all of you. Every one of these answers had a little something to nibble on:

Beck_Melbourne >

Don't feel like an outsider...because on here you're not...nor are you a worldie...nor are you an apostate....because you have to believe that "shite" to be one. I say keep walking buddy...and don't look back or you will turn into a pillar of salt LOL.

Our view about ourselves is based on our life experience - it can't change until we let that old BS go.

Garybuss >

I confronted my delusions, my superstitions, my fears and my history, and emerged a very different person in terms of rational thought and logical decision making.

That's where I am now - It's odd how I'm mentally cognisant of such a change in my life. I don't know if that makes sense, but it's how I feel.

Heaven >

Not to be preachy or anything, but I also read the bible for the first time, without any watchtowers.
It was very interesting how easy it was to understand.

Isn't it wierd how different people can go through similar circumstances and come out so different. I for example will be completely content to never touch another bible as long as I live, and others can find comfort in understanding it. I think both ways are ok as long as the individual comes out well adjusted in the end.

Guest 77 >

Conflicted, you answered your own question. Now, just execute it.

I don't know what exactly you are referring too, but I get the impression it goes hand in hand with Sixofnine's question:

What things would you be doing differently if you had this courage?

It's not so much as how I would live my life - I'm happy in my marriage/job/friends. It's more about a lingering fear about people in general, 'they're dangerous', 'don't get too close', 'avoid contact with the world'. I was a part of it, but didn't let myself belong. Now I'm living a life completely void of JW's except inside myself - they're still there inside.

Smoldering Wick > I totally dug the kitty illustration. Yes, with the exception of Fred Hall, I too love cats.

And Jesussaves >

Read Crisis of Conscience!!!!! That freed me of every lingering doubt about doctrine.

I will. Thanks again to all of you for your help.

19

I'm stuck in limbo, what to do?

by conflicted in

jw
friends

if you don't know my past i'll paraphrase: basically, i got away from the dubs, but their teachings, dogma, doctine, mindset still have grips on aspects of my life.

i just can't let some of it go.. i was raised in the "truth" and left because i wanted a life of my own.

i didn't have doubts about their teachings, but resolved myself to die at the big a so i could have a real life now.

conflicted

Thanks for your input - it looks like I have some reading to do.

ThiChi - check your mail

Puffsrule - Thank you for your perspective. I think my trouble is comming from a different angle though. You see, I have friends, I have acquaintences, what I need is someone I can talk to on a personal level about specific problems relating to the JW/exJW world.

I've been posting here for a year, and though it's been helpful to a point, I think I need a more 'real' relationship than cyberspace allows. (On the other hand, maybe I havn't opened up enough before to let the board help.)

We'll see.

Thanks all - I'm feeling better already.

I'll check back in the morning, (I post from work). Everything is always better ing the morning.

19

I'm stuck in limbo, what to do?

by conflicted in

jw
friends

if you don't know my past i'll paraphrase: basically, i got away from the dubs, but their teachings, dogma, doctine, mindset still have grips on aspects of my life.

i just can't let some of it go.. i was raised in the "truth" and left because i wanted a life of my own.

i didn't have doubts about their teachings, but resolved myself to die at the big a so i could have a real life now.

conflicted

No, I haven't read any of his books.

Do you think In Search would still help even though I don't consider myself Christian anymore?

19

I'm stuck in limbo, what to do?

by conflicted in

jw
friends

if you don't know my past i'll paraphrase: basically, i got away from the dubs, but their teachings, dogma, doctine, mindset still have grips on aspects of my life.

i just can't let some of it go.. i was raised in the "truth" and left because i wanted a life of my own.

i didn't have doubts about their teachings, but resolved myself to die at the big a so i could have a real life now.

conflicted

If you don't know my past I'll paraphrase: basically, I got away from the dubs, but their teachings, dogma, doctine, mindset still have grips on aspects of my life. I just can't let some of it go.

I was raised in the "truth" and left because I wanted a life of my own. I didn't have doubts about their teachings, but resolved myself to die at the big A so I could have a real life now. That was twelve years ago, and up intil about a year ago (when I found this board) I still believed their doctrines, but lived my life for myself nonetheless. As a result I never got a chance to get rid of their baggage, I was hell and gone from them before I found out they were false. I was living a life where the world could end at any moment and unlike hopeful dubs who think they might make it through, I knew I was going to die. Now I know that isn't going to happen and I've got a long life to look forward to. Great, but...

Hindsight being what it is, I now see how learning more about their false teachings and slowly moving away would have been better, but I quit cold turkey. I never learned how to make friends, how to function as normal - it's what I wanted more than anything, I was willing to die for it. But when push came to shove I went into limbo.

I didn't want to go back, but I also didn't know how to make it as a 'worldling'. My problem is that as a child raised in the "truth" I was taught to fear the world until I got old enough to fight it - I left before I made that transition and some of that fear lingers.

I had the courage to leave them with only death to look forward to, but not enough courage to jump in and be 'with the world'.

I've got a pretty good life now, but I still feel like an outsider looking in, like I don't belong. I wouldn't go so far as to say I'm crying out for help, more like I'm bouncing my expeience out to see what comes back. I've tried to have this discussion with my wife, but she was never a JW, and doesn't understand why I can't let this go.

6

feds vs. states, medical marijuana

by peaceloveharmony in

http://www.salon.com/news/wire/2002/02/13/pot/index.html .

feds bust s.f.

by margie mason.

conflicted

Hi Harmony, it's been a while how are you?

It's sad isn't it? One official says it's ok - the other one arrests you. One group says all you need is a 'scrip and it's all good, but the other group is waiting outside the door with cuffs.

Kind of reminds me of something.... 'blood is ok, no it's not, yes it is', 'the end will come in '75, no it won't, yes it will, we never said that'.

It seems to me that when a bunch of old guys get together to make rules all logic goes out the window. Maybe it has something to do with the geriatric brain. Alone it's ok, but get a bunch of them in a confined space and they regress to a state of jello.

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life is the opportunity for art

19

Reflections over the year! Thanks!

by VeniceIT in

jw
friends

hi everyone, i just looked at my profile the other day and realized that i'd started posting over a year ago.

in some ways it all seems so short this past year, like a blur in my life.

yet i feel that i've gotten to know so many of you so well, i can't believe it's only been a year.. one thing that's really strange for me is the fact the no one i talk to or know has known me for more then 2 years!!!

conflicted

Hi Ven. :D

Has it been a year already?

I remember your first posts, I joined about the same time you did. Your early posts reflected the pain you were going through, but as time passed they grew more cheerful and full of your true spirit. I'm so happy that your life has changed for the better and proud to be even the tiniest part of it.

Coming to this board has changed me a great deal, so I know how you feel. I just can't get over it - a whole year, already?

Congrats!

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life is the opportunity for art

13

Spoke with a dub on ever changing doctrine...

by stocwach in

jw
friends

{to anyone that has seen this topic under "beliefs, doctrine, and practices", i apologize for the duplication, but i wanted to make sure it got the most exposure under the "main" thread here}:.

needed to be circumcised like the jewish christians already were.

only about the circumcision issue but also on whether the gentiles were.

conflicted

Yes Tom, well said.

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life is the opportunity for art

5

That Dateline thing.

by Dan B in

jw
friends

i've been away from this forum for a while, so i was wondering if that dateline story ever aired?

or is it still coming up?.

dan

conflicted

I did a search on the board and the latest is "sometime after the olympics".

Kinda vague, like "this 'generation' will live forever".

Now where have I heard that one before?

--------------------------------------
life is the opportunity for art

13

Spoke with a dub on ever changing doctrine...

by stocwach in

jw
friends

{to anyone that has seen this topic under "beliefs, doctrine, and practices", i apologize for the duplication, but i wanted to make sure it got the most exposure under the "main" thread here}:.

needed to be circumcised like the jewish christians already were.

only about the circumcision issue but also on whether the gentiles were.

conflicted

In my opinion, JW's are a new religion relativly speaking and are still feeling their way. In the beginning it was a much different religion than it is today, it will be different a generation from now if it still exists. Right now the GB are very old men with standards set by people who are long dead, when they pass younger men fill their shoes and a whole new set of standards comes into play. This sets up a slow process of changing policy to a more modern way of thinking.

Unfortunatly the changing policy is so slow, and there are enough older men remaining to cause the change to stutter and fluctuate, ie the blood issue, and the definition of 'generation'.

The bottom line is that there are MEN behind the whole process, not God. It is a religion of men, created by man and the imperfections are staggering when you look at them from the outside. From the inside the men can control the thinking of it's members and therein lies the real danger.

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life is the opportunity for art

40

the 80's

by peaceloveharmony in

hey all, i received this in email today at work.

i always find these remember things funny, 70's or 80's.... but as i was reading this list, it got me thinking about some of the things i don't truly remember (okay, i remember but they were no-no's) because of my jw enforced childhood.

so here's the list with some of my comments:.

conflicted

AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH! 80's hair!

Remeber the mullet?