Posts by dezpbem

51

Still on the fence!

by acuragirl in

jw
friends

hey everyone i know its been a while since i posted but today i felt the need.just wanted to update you all on my position which is still brainwashed!i just dont know what to do i gain my strength to conquer this disease,(thats what i call being born in the org) from others like freedom lover who have come out of this religon free and clear i know its not easy but i know it can be done.i dont know why i just cant get over it and move on already,but theres thats piece of me that says,but what if?then im back, screwed and tatooed with jdub on my forehead,thinking that jehovah is upset and dissapointed with me and satan has me in his grasp.im stil sooo confused even with all the evidence pointing to they are full of crap!what if they arent?i just want to know the truth even if i dont choose to follow it,i want to know if jehovah is watching me torment myself every day,going back and forth and i cant take it anymore.then i think what if there is no jehovah?who the hell am i praying to with my daughter at night?

(the air mabe)you see my daughter still believes even though she is ready to celebrate halloween this year and yes we bought her a costume,cinderella!my mother comes and takes her every now and then only if i promise to go to some meetings and i did last weekend i attended the sunday meeting for once in a about 6 months!felt strange to be there but once again going to a different cong i got love bombed.btw i feel guilty and scared about having anything to do with halloween this year.yup still dealing with the guilt,fear,agony,of knowing and believing in the dubs,for so long now trying desperately to get out without feeling the way i do.i just dont know what to do anymore and its a shame because the dubs have sucked the life out of me(guess i didnt check my doubts soon enough).if i dont get off the fence soon im going to go nuts.i like believeing that satan doesnt even exist and that there is no heavenly org.gives me peace of mind that i can just live my life,if theres a god,fine,is it jehovah?thats where the conflict arises and i cant just go on with my life thinking jehovah has lost me to the other side!

!im not a lost cause yet guys.i need new light!

dezpbem

Hi Acuragirl

I was raised in "The Truth" myself. I remember going through alot of what your going through. I recall stressing myself over these huge cosmic abstact questions that you really can't answer like "what if this is the one right religion?", "will I really loose etertnal life?", etc. After you leave and no longer get your daily dose of brainwashing these questions start to mean less and less to you over time. Eventually you just don't give a rat's a*s!

Ask yourself my favorite question; Would an omnipotent all knowing god care what name you called him? Would an omnipotent all knowing god want you to sit in a chair listening to speeches day in day out and drive yourself crazy with brainwashing? Would an omnipotent all knowing god want you to be unhappy? Would an omnipotent all knowing god destroy you for leaving a screwed up religion? Would an omnipotent all knowing god make all of humanity suffer endlessly because of one piece of stollen fruit? If so then he can keep eternal life as far as i'm concerned. Would you really want to live under the rullership of such a vindictive diety? Forever?

I don't believe in a vindictive childish god. I do believe there are vindictive childish belief systems created by vindictive childish men.

Im stil sooo confused even with all the evidence pointing to they are full of crap!What if they arent?I just want to know the truth even if i dont choose to follow it,

This is an example of "huge cosmic questions without answers" as I like to call them. You'll drive yourself crazy with them. Read this post I made...if you can reads it's whole thread...some of it may apply to you, i'm unsure...http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/6/100487/1731279/post.ashx#1731279

If i dont get off the fence soon im going to go nuts.

What's making you "go nuts" is the constant questioning and doubt. Do you still go to meetings? If so stop. You can always go back. Make yourself a promise. "'m not going to even concern myself with the jw for the next 6 months". Try not talking to them, reading about them (with the exception of the Franz books you were recommended), nothing. Do you have hobbies? Do them and get some more. Go out more often. Get some books and videos on massage with your husband (great relief from stress and it sounds like you need it). Make it a point to give each other a full body massage each day. One day you get one the next day he does. You'll be surprised to find that the answers to this stressful time don't come from answers at all. They come from getting your mind off the unanswerable, doing things to destress yourself, and diving into the fun and exciting things in life that you love.

I think you'll do fine if you get your mind off of the rollercoaster of endless unanswerable questions. The answers to the answerable ones are another story. You'll find most of those in the books you were recommended. I think you'll be fine.

Time for me to get back to work...

Smiles

Dez

37

What religions did you seek since leaving? Or not?

by dezpbem in

jw
friends

i'm curious how many people on the board have looked into other religions or spirituality groups since they've left the jw.. what have you looked into?

did you join anything else?

read up on any others?

dezpbem

I'm curious how many people on the board have looked into other religions or spirituality groups since they've left the jw.

What have you looked into? Did you join anything else? Read up on any others? Decide you hate it all and just plain shun the idea of any alternative?

Curious...

8

Original sin ?????

by vitty in

jw
friends

i was listening to the god channel yesterday and was really surprised to hear the speaker talk of the original sin "sex" between adam and eve.

i thought only the catholics believed that, how do christians come to that conclusion.?.

i know there are christians on this board so if you can answer it, im very interested in it.. is it only the jws who believe it was disobedience ?.

dezpbem

Disobedience, sin, isn't it just semantics?

Both imply wrong doing. I think it's just two religions using different terminology because they labell things somewhat differently. But I see the essential meaning as the same.

That quote from gilgamesh was interesting. I've never read that. Are you gnostic Narkissos?

15

Are you worried about computer privacy????

by FreedomFrog in

jw
friends

i wasn't until someone showed me this link.

anyone can get information by just searching on your drivers license.. can you believe this???.

http://www.license.shorturl.com/

dezpbem

I just looked up my ex on there. Yup that's her pic.

40

Why do women do this???

by dezpbem in

jw
friends

here's something that happens that i find strange with women, no offence.

i was out with a female friend.

we're just friends and nothing more but to anyone else who saw us we would have looked like a couple.

dezpbem

Hey Dude, are u sure u want 2 'assume' on that one?

LOL!

Think i'll change the title of this thread to

ASSUMPTIONS AND WHY WE DON"T NEED THEM!

40

Why do women do this???

by dezpbem in

jw
friends

here's something that happens that i find strange with women, no offence.

i was out with a female friend.

we're just friends and nothing more but to anyone else who saw us we would have looked like a couple.

dezpbem

Desi you should know, around here that IS a hobby!! Ever watch Ricki Lake??

HAHAHAHA! Yup, welcome to nyc! We guys get the same problem too. It just used to be less prevalent among women. BACKKKK in the days, LOL! You ever have that problem here?

40

Why do women do this???

by dezpbem in

jw
friends

here's something that happens that i find strange with women, no offence.

i was out with a female friend.

we're just friends and nothing more but to anyone else who saw us we would have looked like a couple.

dezpbem

My question is - why did your friend (girl) get irritated if she truly has no interest in you other then a friend. When I am with my guy friends that are only friends - I help them get numbers from girls if they are interested in a certain one. Hmmmm....

Lol. Good point.

But she's had problems in the past with other women trying to take her men so it could just be old wounds having a nerve struck. I assume that's the reason.

40

Why do women do this???

by dezpbem in

jw
friends

here's something that happens that i find strange with women, no offence.

i was out with a female friend.

we're just friends and nothing more but to anyone else who saw us we would have looked like a couple.

dezpbem

My question is a sincere question. I'd like to have a million dollars for every time I've heard a guy say, "She wants me." because a woman happened to be looking in his general direction.

Yes I agree most men do think that way.

Did you look behind you? Maybe there was a TV behind you, or another man.

Your turn; reread what I wrote (smiles). The girl I was with was upsetted by women looking at me. i'll give more detailShe was upset because she noticed them looking at me. We discussed it. She has it happen alot on dates, etc. I tried to ignore them so she wouldn't feel bad. . It was disrespectful toward her and I agree. Not a floating tv set that wasn't there behind my back that they were peeping, not lesbians looking at her while my stupid overgrown male ego assumed they were looking at me, etc, lol! I'm not the typical egotistical kind of guy that assumes that just because a woman looks it means "she's into me." I'm humble. Far from full of myself. The majority of the time that a woman looks at me it's nothing more than a glance, a look, or a regular smile.

. I'm not saying that women don't do this to you, but the fact that they aren't looking when you are alone should tell you something.

That was my point exactly. Add on the fact that nearly every male I know has the same experience and you see there's something going on.

. And then maybe those women are playing a game, trying to see if they can get men who they think or married or on dates to look at them, for varying reasons. One could be they like the man, another could be they just like attention and attention from an attached man is a higher score.

I can't speak about the area your from. Here in the USA among the younger age groups women try to steal each others men like it was a hobby. That's no exaggeration. There's a huge amount of hostile competition between women sexually. It's really stupid. And thus my question as to why women do this. This post wasn't about "hey these women keep looking at me!" The purpose is the question I asked. The question comes from the events of the night which happen to center around a common experience of women doing this. IMO it's uncalled for and disrespectful hostility/competition between women.

Hell most men couldn't care less that a woman's feelings get hurt by that (some women anyway) and like it. I'm not kidding at all. I see a lot of guys brag about it. I like attention from women as much as anyone does but not at the expense of a friend or girlfriend's feelings.

40

Why do women do this???

by dezpbem in

jw
friends

here's something that happens that i find strange with women, no offence.

i was out with a female friend.

we're just friends and nothing more but to anyone else who saw us we would have looked like a couple.

dezpbem

Why do a lot of men assume that any woman who looks at them or smiles at them is interested in them as a possible lover? This is assumption is very amusing, yet also annoying as hell.

I don't assume that whenever a woman looks or smiles she's interested. Now your the one who is assuming. Under normal circumstances I don't get as many looks from women. But go out with a woman and that changes. If you reread the whole thread you'll see that this is a common experience. Your projecting your own assumptions onto this.

I don't mind at all a friendly smile or friendly looks. This was not. I'm aware of the difference despite your assumptions otherwise.

40

Why do women do this???

by dezpbem in

jw
friends

here's something that happens that i find strange with women, no offence.

i was out with a female friend.

we're just friends and nothing more but to anyone else who saw us we would have looked like a couple.

dezpbem

The women are gay or bisexual and are looking at your friend, not you.

Umm, no, LOL! I have seen women looking at her though and I do know the difference.

I'ts hard to explain by post. Just one quick example we're sitting at an event, she's on my right. To the right of her are two females. When she's turned toward me one keeps staring, and I mean long deep stare, right into my eyes. Hard to explain but from that angle she couldn't look at my friend's face. And she keeps doing this through the night. My friend caught it eventually and gave her a long stare at one point.

Believe me this is more common than you may know. I have seen women who don't even notice that other women do this. My friend is very aware and does catch it. I may misjudge it but if I were on the receiving end I wouldn't appreciate it. I can't say it happens as much with women I date. Meaning I see men sometimes look at a girlfriend but they'll stop or it's a more normal quick thing.