Posts by justsomedude

When we studied it the first or second time, I recall one study where a friend of mine was the reader and he read one particular paragraph and after he was done, the book study conductor went back and corrected something he had read. My Friend went back and corrected the book study conductor, who in turn corrected him again.

When they finally compared books, it turns out they said two different things, buts its been soooo many years I honestly cant recall what the change was.

18

BIG Moral Crisis.....

by justsomedude in

(if anything i write below is horrible offensive to anyone, please do me a favor and just ignore this post and dont tell me what rotten person i am and im going to hell or some such thing)

over the last few years ive had to change a great many views that ive previously been very emphatic about.

there are a number of things that are currently running through my head, the short list looks like this.

justsomedude

Ok, the formatting got all jacked up and I lost some when I pasted the post over, but most of it is still there.

18

BIG Moral Crisis.....

by justsomedude in

(if anything i write below is horrible offensive to anyone, please do me a favor and just ignore this post and dont tell me what rotten person i am and im going to hell or some such thing)

over the last few years ive had to change a great many views that ive previously been very emphatic about.

there are a number of things that are currently running through my head, the short list looks like this.

justsomedude

(If anything I write below is horrible offensive to anyone, please do me a favor and just ignore this post and don’t tell me what rotten person I am and I’m going to hell or some such thing)

Over the last few years I’ve had to change a great many views that I’ve previously been very emphatic about. I’ve changed my view on my prior religion, my view on God in general, my view on many things I don’t really need to itemize here, but it should go without saying that my view on right and wrong has made a huge shift.

There are a great many things that my strict Christian upbringing defined as wrong that I have since defined totally reversed myself on, or relegated to a grey area. Some of these things I did while I was still an active JW (as everyone does), but the most radical changes of course came after I decided to move on.

In a hopefully successful attempt at keeping this short enough to read without getting too bored,

With that being said, let me get to my dilemma...

I’ve been working with a woman for about the last 6-7 years that is absolutely fantastic. When we first started working together, we only talked on the phone for the first few months, but we got along very well because she is without a doubt one of the coolest people I have ever encountered. Well spoken, well read, good sense of humor, great attitude...

Then I met her in person and found out that she was absolutely gorgeous too....

This isn’t a bad start to a story, except for one hitch. Sometime later she invited me to a party over at her house, which I immediately took as a very good sign, until she mentioned that it was a birthday party for her husband, who she had previously failed to mention.

Oh well, not that big a deal.. A beautiful and intelligent woman who is already married, not that big a shock and not the end of the world. I had never actually asked her out or done anything else to make a fool out of myself, so no harm no foul.

We have ended up being very good friends however over the last few years. At least once a month we usually go hit a happy hour or something like that. I know that’s a little odd for a single guy to be running around with a married woman, but it never really seemed to be a problem, I just figured that was her personality. A lot of times her husband would be there even, so I’ve never really viewed it in any other light than just friends going out for drinks.

The last Thursday night I was talking with her and she wanted to go have some drinks after work. Her husband was out of town as he often is (on business) and she was looking for something to do. This isn’t the first time we've gone out like that, so I thought nothing of it. I basically had planned to go for about 2 hours and then head home because I had a ton to do yet. Unfortunately as is the case with most of our happy hours, we ended up staying at the bar until around 10 or so. She then asked me to come back to her place and have a few more drink and we'd order a bite to eat. Once again not out of the ordinary, except her husband wasn’t there this time.

The first hour or two that I was there was basically our usual chit-chat. Although she wasn’t a JW, she was raised in another cult religion and so our life experience has a lot of similarities. Because of this, I find that I can just talk to her for hours and never get bored.

At some point though, things took a turn... I found myself sitting with her on the couch, with her basically leaning on my shoulder and giving me the most vulnerable look I think I have ever seen on her face and I knew I was in trouble.

I guess I’m really quite a fool for not seeing this coming, but believe me when I say that while I was attracted to this girl, I wasn’t biding my time and waiting for an opportunity like this. I've never been as honest as I am in saying that we were just friends and if she hadn’t been married, I would have looked at things differently, but she was.

I wasn’t quite sure how far she wanted to let things go and I don’t think she really was sure herself.

Omitting the naughty details, I did end up staying the night. We didn’t end up having intercourse, but far more went on than should have. While we both agreed that night that we would still be friends and not let things get weird, I need to get my head on straight damn quick to be able to keep that promise.

My mood has been a real roller coaster of the last few days, but since I’ve been incredibly busy since that night, I haven’t really had time to sit and just let it eat at me. Sitting quietly in my empty house on a Sunday afternoon though, things have changed and I’m starting to get very down. I can’t possibly see a way for this to go well.

Something happened last week that can’t be undone. She told me that she had been harboring feelings for me for a long time and then we acted on that. Although I haven’t been acting on it, I am finally starting to admit to myself how much I really do have feeling for her too. The fact that things didn’t go farther than they did the other night, was partly due to the fact that I kept being a buzz kill and bringing up the fact that she is married. I don’t know that I will have the same restraint in the future....

There are a number of things that are currently running through my head, the short list looks like this.
I’ve crossed a line that I thought was pretty cut and dried for me, I messed around with a married woman.
If I acknowledge what I might feel for her, there is no good way for it to go for me.
I may have ruined what was a really good friendship. I know lots of people, but the list of people that I really call friends is pretty damn short. Of that very short list, only two people really know whets going on with me right now.
I may have created a number of huge headaches at work.

If anyone has anything to say that will help me escape the current circle of hell that I seem to be orbiting, I’d appreciate the insight.

18

What did your worldly friends think?

by Fleshybirdfodder in

jw
friends

at around 19 years of age i started dating a "worlding" girl and brought her to meetings to get the elders off my back (to no avail of course... i was "marked").

needless to say word got out and some of my other friends decided to check out some of the meetings.

one of my closest friends who had been to many church services (he is a gifted musician and played organ at his church and several others) came to a theocratic ministry school/service meeting.

justsomedude

Most generally I didnt tell my "worldly" friends. Despite my previous beliefs I've always had a mouth like a sailor and I drink like a fish. I didnt feel like explaining the discrepancy between my belief and my actions.

14

looking for letter to Circuit Overseers about blood

by lost_sheep in

i was looking at ajwrb's timeline of the history of the blood doctrine, & noticed this : 2000 - in the spring, circuit overseers in the united states receive a letter instructing them to inform local bodies of elders not to disfellowship anyone who accepts blood transfusions.

if their conduct becomes known and they are deemed unrepentant, they will be considered to have disassociated themselves.

does anyone have a scan of this letter?

justsomedude

Oh man, would I love to have a copy of that letter for my family that is still in...

Please tell me someone has it in their archives of secret wtbs stuff?

60

Witnessing at the WalMart in Evansville, Indiana(pics)

by Jourles in

jw
friends

.

for your viewing, uh, pleasure?

justsomedude

Back in the old days we would loiter in the parking lot and snag people on the way out as they were going to their cars so it would require effort on their part to go back in and report us. We were never even close to having permission to setup something like this.

7

Da Vinci Disappointment?

by Oroborus21 in

jw
friends

so the news today is that the "critics" are panning the code.. screw em.

sometimes they are right, but a lot of time they are wrong too.

i am still planning on seeing it early friday.. the book was good (not great) but entertaining (frankly i liked angels & demons better) and it will be a shame if the movie doesn't turn out well.

justsomedude

It thought the book was great and for that reason, I wont see the movie.

22

How do you deal with JW's knowing they will shun you?

by JH in

jw
friends

i went to the grocery store yesterday, and i saw a jw who was looking at me with a sort of sad face.

i said hello, and he didn't reply.

so why does he stare at me for if he knows he won't reply to me when i say hello?

justsomedude

Even though Im not DF/DAed (yet), I have been fading for some months and have expierienced the big S a few times now.

Most recently I went into a resturaunt with a few friends and ran into a table of dubs. Actually I really wasnt even to the door yet, when I met a glance of one of the people at the table. She promptly decided that she needed to stare at her plate so intently I thought she might be doing math problems down there. When I got inside I went over and greeted everyone and got zero response from one side of the table and had a nice chat with the folks on the other side.

Just for the hell of it I tried to embarass the deaf/mute side of the table by being extra nice and friendly, but either way I could really care less. I had nothing in common with the people at my hall and never really did anything with them outside of the meetings and service (less one or two).

There are people who are still in the troof that would get to me if they shunned me, but they arent in my hall and I think they are still trying to figure out what I am doing.

32

When Did You Start To S L O W Down In The "Truth"???

by minimus in

jw
friends

when you look back at it, what got you to slow down?

?

justsomedude

I gave a talk at the last meeting I attended.

I read the watchtower at my last meeting.