Why does God do that? I mean, you think its true he won't give you more than you can bear?
The standard JW/Jesuit answer is that God only gives those who are strong enough the burdens to bear. Which is a load of horsehockey.
Joseph Campbell is good reading, but maybe not quite suited for stilla. I'd recommend "The Meaning of Anxiety" by Rollo May, and "The Christian Agnostic" by Leslie Weatherhead for starters. This is a dangerous time for you, stilla. You need to proceed with caution lest you become overwhelmed with feelings of helplessness.