divejunkie

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Posts by divejunkie

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  13

  How many of you joined to placate family members ?

  by bocephus in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i was just wondering how many of you might have joined the organization to placate family members .

  i can say as a teen i was baptized for the sole purpose of quieting my father .

  how about you did you do it for the fear of losing family members

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  divejunkie

  I got baptized at 14, just because it was expected and there was some serious pressure to do it early. And of course after that it was also expected to spend my summer vacation doing some auxiliary pioneering. BLAH!!!!!!
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  21

  Rules Created by the Body of Elders and an Off Topic Question

  by XJW4EVR in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  in my latest post in my story, i recounted how my dad and another elder made attendance at high school sports events a no-no.

  in retrospect, i don't recall anything in print that made attendance at local sporting events a shepherding offense.

  maybe my memory is faulty.. did your boe make rules like this?.

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  divejunkie

  Where do I start?
  ANY school sports was a no-no -- attending and definitely participating.
  Let me put it to you this way: The first time I ever attended a school field-day was in my first year AS A TEACHER!!!!!! School field trips were "questionable" unless the JW parent was a chaperone. My first field trip: 2nd year of High School.
  
  School dances! Like Tony Soprano would say: "Forget about it!" but that one was on print actually.
  
  I grew up in an island, so going to the beach was the most popular, cheap and available form of entertainmen; until the geniuses decided to put a rule that groups without "adult" supervision - and by that they meant married adults, since we were all over 18 at the time - were not permitted. That one really pissed me off. My way of rebelling against that one: I signed up for SCUBA classes and spent every Saturday and Sunday morning diving with "worldly people" WITHOUT proper adult supervision.
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  32

  Bethel Police pulled me over for a violation

  by What-A-Coincidence in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  wearing faded jeans only as a bethelite is a cause for concern for the governing body.

  i had jeans that were not totally faded as the "world" would consider them.

  so one freaken' weekend as i passed by a wt building, a tightwod bethel elder (now just an elder) asked me how i was doing (bla bla bla).

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  divejunkie

  The PO of one congregation I used to attend called a sister on her wearing a G-string under her clothes.
  
  The thing is: She was wearing flowing skirt that didn't cling to any part of her body but her waist. So he must have been looking really hard to figure out she was wearing one.
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  10

  Your best friend just called to say their life is falling apart ... so you

  by free2beme in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  ... look through your magazines and books and head over with a large supply to place with them.

  knowing that what ever the problem is, they only need to read these publications and all will be right in their life again.

  your son marries a worldly girl and she is having problems in the marriage.

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  divejunkie

  That is so true. If you have any problems, they can and should be fixed with a Bible quote. Every once in a blue moon, however, there is an elder with enough humility and sensitivity to understand that it not that simple. Case in point: my best friend.
  
  My best friend was married to this overbearing, controlling, verbally and emotionaly abusive husband for 11 years. Her emotional state was such a wreck that she became physically ill. She went down to under 100 lbs. Everybody in the congregation who knew them could tell he was not a good husband- including the elders. Her doctor referred her to a therapist friend of his. She started seeing him and after a while drew up the courage to leave her husband, and of course the borg. Her husband, who was the lamest JW you'll ever find, but gave very generou$$ contributions to the cong, freaked out and called in the elders. Three of them came: the PO, the Service and another pencil pusher.
  
  Months later she ran into the elder who conducted the bible study she used to attend while she was in her lunch break. He also happened to be a neighbor of theirs. He asked her if he could sit down with her. She said yes but she thought "here we go...". To her surprise he told her that he was asked to go to the infamous visit but he refused. When the PO asked him why, he said he could not, in good conscience, go and try to convince a good decent woman, a friend, not to leave her abusive husband. If anything he would asked her "What took you so long?" The PO told him "You can't say that. That is not what the Bible says". His response was: "I know. That is why I'm not going with you. I think she is doing the right thing."
  
  That elder got removed from his position a couple of months later, although still a JW. Can you guess why he got removed?
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  25

  Do JW's elders really want to know what kind of "sexual activities" you did

  by booker-t in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i know many ex-jw elders out there have the first hand knowlege of this but i was wondering do the elders really want to know everything you did when you were engage in sexual activity that got you in front of a judicial committee when you were a jw or now.

  i have heard horror stories of the elders wanting to know did the person have an "orgasim" did they perform "oral sex" did they perform "anal sex" etc; i can't believe that a person could be so "nosy" as to want to know what a person did in the bedroom.

  i know a girl who is now df that i work with and she said that one of the elders asked her what size penis did her boyfriend have and did she prefer "small" or large penises.

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  divejunkie

  In my experience they did. They wanted to know how many times, positions, different activities, etc.
  I refused to give details by saying "I had sex. I'm telling you - I'm confessing. The details don't matter - it happened." After that they kind of backed off, but they can be very rude and nosy. I guess it depends on the elders.
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  47

  We don't want to divorce, but we do. What other options exist?

  by BrianGreen in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  ive been reading this forum for a long time, but this new situation has come up and now it looks like i need your help.

  i thought i dodged a bullet.

  my wife and i were both jws, and we both left it together.

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  divejunkie

  Staying married for the kids is never a good idea.
  
  I completely understand your position about the kids. But if you guys are talking and communicating well, maybe there is the possibility of coming up with an arrangement that works for both of your interests.
  
  I don't know if somebody has suggested this already, but what about divorcing but finding places to live that will allow you to be neighbors? That way you have constant and easy access to each other and the kids while having your own space and living separate lives.
  
  I know a couple who is currently doing this and it seems to work great for them. They came to a point where neither one of them wanted to be married to each other, but other than that they get along great. So they came to this arrangement. But it won't work if the divorce isn't amicable.
  
  Think about it.
  
  I wish you the best for you and your family.
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  30

  I just sent my JW family packing

  by unbeliever in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  my mom asked me if some of her jw relatives from ca could come and stay .

  with me for 2 days and see some of the sites.

  mom told them all about .

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  divejunkie

  My sister in law's husband is an elder. He is the laziest, cheapest man I've ever met.
  He's a CPA, has his own business with his main account being a small community college in his town. He also has several restaurants and a couple of hardware stores as clients among other things. In other words, he is doing very well.
  
  But whenever he is going to travel, he'll start calling in every JW he knows in whatever town he's going to and ask if they can provide lodging. The thing is he does it in an oficial manner, like they would do when they ask for lodging for traveling overseers, or conventions. There is always a sucker that falls for it, and then has to put up with the company. He is also the kind of person that expects to be catered to when he visits. He'll ask to go to expensive restaurants, to use the cars of the people he's staying with -he never pays for the rental - and everybody has to go and see what he wants, nobody else's opinions or interests are taken into consideration.
  
  Sometimes he'll coordinate a "group vacation" and he'll say that he'll take care of the loding expenses if somebody else covers his transportation and meals for him and his wife. People figure it's a good deal and say yes. Little do they know that he won't pay for a hotel but instead pull his "lodging arrangement" trick through his elder connections, and instead of staying all together in a nice hotel they'll be staying in somebody's house who they never met before, probably even far from the rest of the group. But they will still have to cover their part of the bargain.
  
  He is the father of all free loaders. Arrogant son of a bitch...
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  60

  What did you change in your "look" to show your rebellion?

  by JH in

  1. jw
  2. friends

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  i grew a goatee and thats my sign to them, that i'm rebellious... .

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  divejunkie

  I didn't change anything permanent. I changed the way I dress a little bit - as much as I can without looking like a ho.
  
  My husband grew a goatee. His sister and elder husband were "apalled" by his action. Whatever!
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  4

  Part 3: Abandon Ship! - Are They Kidding?

  by Amazing1914 in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  this is my final part in this short series.

  in april it will be 14 years since i abandoned the watchtower ship.

  reportedly, i am rumored to be disassociated as of july 1995. this ten year old watchtower "lead-in" article, therefore, is fitting to consider:

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  divejunkie

  Once more another display of blatant hypocresy (sp?) and double standards.
  
  I just can't comprehend how they manage to control so many people with that kind of reasoning.
  I know I was controlled by my parents and the fear of rejection from them, but how is it that grown people fall for it?
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  43

  Did the elders ask for sexual details at your Judicial meeting?

  by kid-A in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

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  i personally know of two cases where the witness being disfellowshipped was asked to provide excruciating details about the exact nature of the "sex crime" that they had committed.. having read the secret elders manual "pay attention to yourselves and all the flock" i know this is standard operating procedure for a judicial hearing.

  for those that were disfellowshipped for a "sex crime"

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  divejunkie

  I always felt like they got their kicks out of the dirty details of other people's sins.