Calliope

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Posts by Calliope

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  12

  Fate or Coincidence

  by deeskis in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  i was wondering if others have experienced the strange pull of jw'ism in their life.

  i know that it is a minority religion and yet i seem to come across it so much.

  consider some examples of this:.

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  Calliope

  that looks like an impressive list... but it all looks very "coincidental" to me.

  i.e. this girl i work with, her mother's best friend used to date a guy who's dentist was a witness.

  hmmm. yep, coincidence.
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  37

  Apes prove male superiority

  by joelbear in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  within the great apes the male is always dominant.

  as they are the highest on the evolutionary track next to man i think it proves that males are supposed to dominate women in all aspects of life.

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  Calliope

  "Female bonobos have a higher social status than males." yeah... what he said.
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  18

  pour on the pity, i need it...

  by Calliope in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  i wouldn't even remotely know where to begin if i wasn't so drunk with exhaustion.

  i'm at a loss for words.

  but you won't be able to tell that from this very successful rant.

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• 

  Calliope

  thanks everyone for your hugs and words of wisdom.
  now that i see it written here, i realize that i was scared shitless.
  
  in my husbands (ex..?) defence, he hasn't "cheated" on me. but i feel as though he has. it's complicated...
  
  in the infamous words of Raleigh "The Royal Tenenbaums"
  
  "you've made a cuckold of me"
  
  that's how i feel.
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  7

  Songs

  by lola28 in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  to make you try to feel ok. and nothing you could do.

  to stop me feeling the way i do.

  and if the chance should happen.

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  Calliope

  i've been looking so long at these pictures of
  you that i almost belive that they're real i've
  been living so long with my pictures of you that
  i almost believe that the pictures are all i can
  feel
  
  remembering you standing quiet in the rain as
  i ran to your heart to be near and we kissed as
  the sky fell in holding you close how i always
  held close in your fear remembering you
  running soft through the night you were bigger
  and brighter than the snow and
  screamed at the make-believe screamed at the
  sky and you finally found all your courage to
  let it all go
  
  remembering you fallen into my arms crying
  for the death of your heart you were stone
  white so delicate lost in the cold you were
  always so lost in the dark remembering you
  how you used to be slow drowned you were
  angels so much more than everything oh hold
  for the last time then slip away quietly open
  my eyes but i never see anything
  
  if only i had thought of the right words i could
  have hold on to your heart if only i'd thought of
  the right words i wouldn't be breaking apart all
  my pictures of you
  
  Looking So long at these pictures of you but i
  never hold on to your heart looking so long for
  the words to be true but always just breaking
  apart my pictures of you
  
  there was nothing in the world that i ever
  wanted more than to feel you deep in my heart
  there was nothing in the world that i ever
  wanted more than to never feel the breaking
  apart all my pictures of you
• 
  7

  May have planted a seed

  by jstalin in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  i casually mentioned to my jw friend yesterday that the local paper carried the ap article on jws.

  he asked what it was about.

  i just said "something about the changes in the blood policy over the years.

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  Calliope

  
  one little seed is all it took for me.

  and now i'm a big tree of apostasy!
• 
  7

  May have planted a seed

  by jstalin in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  i casually mentioned to my jw friend yesterday that the local paper carried the ap article on jws.

  he asked what it was about.

  i just said "something about the changes in the blood policy over the years.

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  Calliope

  sorry, double post.
• 
  18

  pour on the pity, i need it...

  by Calliope in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  i wouldn't even remotely know where to begin if i wasn't so drunk with exhaustion.

  i'm at a loss for words.

  but you won't be able to tell that from this very successful rant.

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  Calliope

  i wouldn't even remotely know where to begin if i wasn't so drunk with exhaustion.

  i'm at a loss for words. but you won't be able to tell that from this very successful rant.
  

  we are coming up on the anniversary of what began as the year of hell for me. and on the eve of this “celebration”, i just lie in perpetual purgatory and wonder “is this all there is?”
  

  i feel betrayed and abandonned. and angry to the point of serotonin imbalances...
  

  i love him. and i hate him.
  

  i just wanted him to choose me. that's all.
  

  the long and short? i fell in love 6 years ago. with my best friend and then all over again when we were married.
  

  last year, my husband da-ed himself. i was supportive. we were in love. we tried to make it work. i tried to make it work. i think i tried harder. but i suppose i'm biased, as i am the one writing this.
  

  i didn't think it would work out. and in the stupid shrouded needy manipulative way that is akin to the female species, i told him so... hoping he would read between the g'damn lines and say he'd try harder.
  

  but he didn't.
  

  and now, he's moved on. and he's seeing someone else. and i love him. and i hate him.
  

  and now, i'm just gonna go lie in my large king-size bed. and wish, wish, wish there were no aberrations. i'll raise my arms in capitulation – but only in the confines of my own mind.
  

  and officially forgo glasses to drink directly from the bottle.

  pour on the pity, i need it.

  calliope
• 
  33

  Beginning the road out.

  by wozadummy in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  yes i'm new to this forum and i have been searching the net and reading with interest peoples comments here and on other sites.

  as most know reaching out as a faithfull jw to others outside of the congregation is difficult at first ,as i guess we think anyone outside the congregation is wordly etc.

  and we can't open up easily to "strangers" as jehovah would not approve.

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  Calliope

  WELCOME!!

  you're not taking the road less traveled. we have ALL traveled that road.

  Cal.
• 
  52

  Do you struggle with some level of OCD?

  by Billygoat in

  1. watchtower
  2. medical

  it's funny how "split-personalitied" i am on some things.

  i'm not really a neat person.

  but there are things that i am very anal about.

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  Calliope

  my closet is organized by color. i remember a room-mate asking to borrow a shirt, and my response? "it's in the green section". it took a while to live that down.

  i can't ever leave my desk messy at work. every night before i leave, i place everything in meticulously labeled file folders. down to scrap paper. seriously. into a folder labeled "scrap paper".

  don't hate me...
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  25

  What does the word "Apostate" mean to you now?

  by JH in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  .

  how would you define the word apostate, now that you aren't in sync with the watchtower anymore?

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  Calliope

  woohoo!!!

  but i'm now a JUNIOR MEMBER APOSTATE!!!!