3rdgen, it's really nice to read your post. My Father passed away a few months ago, elderly and after lengthy health problems. It was so sad, because I do believe he harbored some doubts but it was too late to do his life over. After having been out for many years, some of "the friends" impressed me with their caring and willingness to help my Mom; others were real oddballs and clueless about appropriate times to visit the hospital or how long to stay. They had no idea the family wanted privacy in the final hours.
I do believe there are so many good folks still in who wonder about the direction the JW's are going in and the questionable leadership. Something seems "off" but they can't put their finger on it. After you get too old, (like my mom), you just hang on to basic biblical principles, and the friends you have made. It's too late to start over once you get in your seventies and eighties. They kind of cross their fingers that they've lived a good life and hope it will be allright.
Glad you are doing OK. I was a born in and know lots of us aren't evil people. We just sensed something didn't smell right at the Kingdom Hall, and try to live good lives. I honor my Mother and respect her fear of change. She is better off at her age being happy and naive than finding out there is anything wrong. Best of luck to you!