Posts by AudeSapere

i have just been diagnosed with colorectal cancer (tuesday).. the consultant told me i am to get a scan to see how far it has spread.. i am going to have surgery to remove it, then chemotherapy with a break in the middle.. strange to say i am more terrified of dying under the anesthetic than anything.

but i have a fear of nausea and vomiting, which chemo caused in all my relatives who have had it.. any advice for coping with this?.

hb.

AudeSapere

I am a cancer-survivor (16 years this coming May) and was preparing a response for you. But I cannot do much better than cofty.

Take everything one step at a time. Don't borrow trouble. Communicate with your treatment team. DO keep your life going. Do look into a local cancer support group and take what works for you and leave the rest behind.

Not all cancers are the same. Not all treatments are the same. Your reaction to each of your identical treatments may or may not be the same.

I went thru 6months of brutal chemo but hardly any nausea. My oncologist was good about giving me meds to control it.

My best wishes for full recovery and a happy life during and after treatment.

-Aude.

32

What allows parents to shun their children ?

by man in black in

my son, went to college and got his bachelors degree.

he started his own anmation company about two years ago, and it really has taken off.. while my wife and i were witnesses, we both received grief about allowing our son to go to college, but we stood up for him and backed his decision to attend 110%.. anyway, this past week he finally closed on a very nice, neat condiminium .. and while he is getting ready to move out on his own, i have quite a few feelings of sadness,as a parent, seeing him move on is kinda rough, but realizing that this is a very good thing for him makes it easier.

he will only be about 7 miles away.

AudeSapere

It's hard to fathom just how they can completely shut the kids off.

Even harder to believe that they can do the mental and emotional gymnastics that let them continue to believe that they are showing the kind of love that is the identifying mark of the 'True Religion'.

-Aude.

PS: Although it's tough to see him/them leave, congrats on creating an environment that allowed your child to grow to the person he needs to be. It's a great gift to him (and to those in his life).

64

Should I allow my mom to see the grandchildren?

by confusedandalone in

so i am not officially da/do yet and my family has shunned me hard.

today crying my mother calls me to beg to see my children... should i let her?

i feel that if you can speak abusive of your own son and wife and shun the.

AudeSapere

It has *got* to be embarrassing to try to dance around explain to non-jw's how a grandparent could possibly not be involved in their grandchildren's lives - especially when they preach to others about how loving they and their religion is.

By having just a little interaction with the kids, she gets to retell the same story of the 30 minutes she spend with them over and over again for 6-12 months. That way she can save face among her friends and potential converts. She can also tell her JW friends how big a test of faith she endured all for the kingdom's sake.

I may be mean and jaded about this, but I would not allow unsupervised visits at all. Not so sure I'd allow supervised visits either if said grandparent would treat me cooly in my own home. It makes me uncomfortable and kids pick up on the 'vibe'.

It's a tough situation. Not sure what I would do in this situation. But boy, oh boy! From what you've told us, your parents are wackier than most. They scare me.

-Aude.

24

Meeting others????

by DATA-DOG in

jw
friends

are you like me, afraid of meeting up with faders and ex-jws??

i am afraid to be ratted out.

the only person that i have ever personally spoke to is raypublisher, well on the phone ans skype.

AudeSapere

I have met many xJWs in real life. Exceptionally good experiences for me.

However, I have heard just a handful of problems from other people on JWN. So I suppose it makes sense to keep your distance and anonimity if you are still trying to fade.

It's a pity, because there is something so very special about being able to look someone in the eye and tell your story. And to hear their's.

If you were in California, I know quite a few people you can trust...

-Aude.

15

Into Darkness - Jehovah's witnesses history

by Dis-Member in

another video on jehovah's witnesses / watchtower's history.. .

.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u5jnngqqyvc.

AudeSapere

Thank you.

(marking for later)

5

Blood issue - widower pressing charges

by Gypsy Sam in

jw
friends

http://www.bellanaija.com/2013/01/08/woman-dies-after-jehovah-witness-family-refused-her-accepting-blood-transfusion-widower-to-press-charges-against-wifes-family/.

i feel bad for the hubby..

AudeSapere

This article is from a year ago. I wonder if it ever made it to court and what the outcome was...?

-Aude.

26

Interview with a former Bethelite who now knows TTATT

by RayPublisher in

if you like these here's one with a fellow that has gotten his family out recently:.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j3nqfprloog.

AudeSapere

Thank you. Marking to listen tomorrow.

58

What do you say if you get asked "Are you an Apostate?"

by KateWild in

i am reuniting with past students and return visits.. i met up with a young lad i used to call on.

he is not baptised, but at university in his 20's and living away from home.

his mother is a jw and his father is not.

AudeSapere

The WT is full of 'loaded language'. Also, their definitions of the phrases they use are not necessarily the same as how the rest of the world uses the same words and phrases.

I would first ask the questioner to define his understanding of the word/title in question. Then, without applying a title, I would (maybe) consider stating my position/opinion.

Also, I would never use the abbreviation TTATT with a sympathetic JW. I might use the phrase "The truth about 'the truth'", but not the word 'T-TATT' or 'TTATT' itself. That is a sure why to get yourself labeled.

Plus I don't think it sounds right. But that's just me.

-Aude.

46

I need help in dealing with a toxic family member!!!!

by hoser in

jw
friends

i have a close family member who is a pro in using shame to try to make me feel bad.

they are coming to stay at my place soon and the issue of me and mrs hoser not attending/ doing field service will come up no doubt.. i need some advice on how to deal with this because whenever i deal with these relatives they make me feel worthless.

it is probably part because they are jw's and jw's motivate by fear and guilt.. .

AudeSapere

For me, the best way to deal with something like this is keep the visit as short as possible and you stay has upbeat and optimistic as possible.

Avoid talking about religion. Be ready with a comeback for when they ask about your spirituality (or other some such prying question), tell them you are doing very well. If they push further, repeat that you are doing very well spiritually. If they continue, tell them it's personal and between you and Jehovah and you have never felt more content with your relationship. (I hope this is true.)

Be happy with your life. Talk about hobbies that enthrall you. Get everybody outside and go for a hike or a long walk. Or just send your self out for a couple of errands or a long solo walk.

Do some activity (art gallery show, museum, movie) something new that you can all talk about.

Good luck with the visit. I hope you can find/create a few fun moments and memories with them.

-Aude.